Page 140 of Lawless

“Alana, you—” he starts but quickly cuts himself off.

“What is it, Big Man? You’re not usually one to beat around the bush.”

“That,” he says, jerking his chin in the direction of where JD was just dry-humping me. “If you’re not ready for… You know that he’d stop the second you said so, right? Any of us would.”

Rolling my lips between my teeth, I shake my head.

“I know. You’re not them, Reid.”

“Okay. I just… I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“I’m not made of glass, Big Man. I can handle the hard shit.”

“Fucking hell.” He groans, scrubbing his hand down his face. “I’m fucking this all up. I don’t do this stuff, Alana. I don’t care about anyone else’s welfare other than trying to keep a leash on JD. I don’t know how to—”

“You’re doing great. And you might not like this, but I think you care about a lot more people than you realize.”

“No one needs me to care about them, Pet.”

I smile at him. “If you say so.”

“I don’t want you to hurt anymore,” he confesses quietly. “Me. Us. Them. You’ve already been hurt enough. It needs to end here.”

I consider my words for a moment before I allow them to pass my lips.

“I trust you.”

His eyes widen.

“I won’t let any of you do anything I’m not happy with. But equally, I trust you to know what I need. I’m fucked up, Reid. Broken beyond belief over and over again. I don’t need any of you to wrap me up in cotton. Sometimes—most of the time, to be fair—I’m going to need you all to throw me around and do the exact opposite.” He sits back, his chin dropping. “You know. If you’re man enough.”

His jaw pops at my suggestion that he might not be, and I push to my feet.

I’m still unsteady as hell. Probably due to the fact I haven’t eaten anything more than anything else, and the second he sees me wobble, he’s on his feet and wrapping his arm around my waist in a heartbeat.

“You really are a big softie, aren’t you?” I tease as he leads me inside.

“Only with you, Pet. And if you tell anyone…” he warns, his words trailing off.

“What? Are you going to spank me like a naughty girl?” I tease.

“Fucking hell. I always knew locking you up in my basement was a mistake.”

“Oh shush. You loved every second of it.”

“Not as much as you did.”

34

MAVERICK

Pain is the first thing I feel when my body stirs to life.

No. Pain is the only thing I feel.

It’s all-consuming in a way I’ve never experienced before.

The physical pain is bad, but that’s only a small part of it.

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