Page 28 of The Playboy

Aside from questions (Jess) and doting (Clem), they also strived to be professional problem solvers.

But I wasn’t looking for anyone to solve my stress.

Besides, neither of them had ever been in my shoes. They’d gone straight to work after high school, taking jobs on The Big Island, and when I turned eighteen, the three of us left our parents’ house and moved to Kauai because they thought we could make more money here. I’d immediately enrolled in an online bachelor’s program through the University of Hawaii, packing each semester with a full load of courses. I took more classes over the summer so I could graduate in four years, majoring in business and double minoring in management and finance.

I had a goal.

I wasn’t stopping until I accomplished it.

But for my sister to suggest that I quit now was absolutely ludicrous.

How would I live? Pay my bills?

It wasn’t like I had a savings account to fall back on.

“Quitting is impossible,” I told her. “I have a third of the rent to pay and a car payment and utilities, and I really love food—I can’t exactly go two months without eating.” I hadn’t mentioned my credit card debt or the student loans that would kick in the second I graduated.

It was a lot.

Ugh.

I pushed myself off the counter, weaving around both sisters to dig into the fridge. I found the bottle of vodka we kept in there for the rare occasion that we were all home and Jess treated us to one of her famous vodka lemonades. I chugged the rest of my water and poured a few shots of booze into the glass, holding it to my lips, the liquor burning as it went down my throat.

I could feel my sisters’ eyes on me.

Judging me.

Probably trying to come up with every alternate option for me.

“We could try and help you out over the next two months,” Clementine started. “Maybe we could cover a little of your rent—”

“No.” It didn’t take more than a gulp’s worth of time before they switched to full-on save-Brooklyn mode. “You’re not doing that. I’ve never taken a handout, and I’m not starting now. I’ll be fine.”

I just needed to keep going to the club twice a week to clear my mind of everything. If I didn’t have that pause, I’d be in a dark place.

But I also couldn’t have a repeat of tonight.

Although that escape had been the best one I’d ever had—taking my brain to the calmest, most erotic place, with hands that had made me moan and a tongue that had licked me until I screamed and a body that had perfectly dominated mine—I couldn’t afford the distraction.

Men were nothing but trouble.

They took up time, attention, money—and at the end, I was usually left with a broken heart.

I wasn’t going down that road again, not when I was already drowning.

That meant no relationships, not even a steady hookup with no strings attached.

I didn’t even want to be tempted, which was why I hadn’t given him my number.

After tonight, the memory of that gorgeous man needed to disappear, just like the thought that I’d succumbed to a one-night stand—something I’d never done before.

But there was no chance I was telling these Nosy Nellies what had gone down in the party bus. I was sure they’d be proud that I’d let my walls down—it wasn’t that they were anti-men—but they’d want to spank me for having sex with a guy whose name I didn’t know and leaving the club with him when he could have so easily hurt me.

Maybe I am nuts?

Rather than letting those thoughts fester, I needed my sisters to go back to bed so I could finish the paper that was due at nine tomorrow morning. One I had to complete before I could get any rest because I had to be at work by six.

“What can we do, then?” Jess asked. “If you won’t take money, let us clean the whole house, and maybe we can help with one of your school projects or something.”

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