Page 96 of The Cabin

Grayson tightens his grasp on my throat. “That’s it, baby, one more.” He is full out pounding into me now, the slap of our skin echoing around the room. Each thrust hits a spot inside me that makes my vision a little blurry.

Another tightening around my throat, the return of his fingers on my clit and I am exploding again.

“Fuck! Grayson, oh my fucking gooood.”

“That’s it Sol, milk my cock.” He rams into me a few more, sloppy, frenzied times. The hand on my throat holds me steady as I shake from wave after wave of pleasure. “Fuck, baby, I’m going to come.”

“Yes, yes, yes. Fill me. Please, Grayson.”

With a final moan that will be imprinted on my brain for the rest of my goddamn life, he bottoms out and trembles against me, giving me everything. It’s warm and thick and he empties so much that it does start leaking out and running down my legs.

He pulls out to watch it. I can feel him drag his fingers through the mix of our cum and curse under his breath. When he’s had his fill, he pulls me back against him. His fingers slip into my mouth and he whispers, “Taste how good we are together.” I lick him clean and he nuzzles into my neck. “So fucking perfect.”

We stand like that, catching our breath for a minute before he walks us to the bathroom, arms draped around me, chest pressed right up to my back. It makes it very difficult to move, but I like how close he is.

He helps me clean up and then he wipes the mess we made off himself. We walk the same ridiculous way into the bedroom where he gathers me up and cuddles into me on the bed.

My bones are bendy and the way he’s soothing me and kissing different places is making me feel warm. Serious warm. Feelings warm. Attached warm.

“There’s more to the story,” I murmur into his neck.

“Oh yeah?” By his tone I can tell he thinks it’s going to lead to round two.

I snort. “Just listen, please.” Just blurt it out, girl. You had a plan, follow it. He’s worth telling difficult things to. “I had so much fun with you the night we had dinner together. I was a live wire, jumpy and nervous because I was so attracted to you.”

“Why didn’t you –”

“And when you started getting possessive and dominant? It turned me on like a freaking light. You woke up wants and needs and desires I had shoved far, far away. I had to, because they were never going to be met. Until you.” I avert my gaze, burying my face deeper into his chest. That one was a little too vulnerable. But the story just gets harder to tell from here and I told myself I’d do this.

“The night on the bed, with the phone? That was the sexiest night I ever had up until that point. And I got insecure and scared because it made absolutely no sense that a man like you would want to touch me like that. In my head there was no way it was real and so I invented a reason that made more sense.”

“Sol –”

“The way you’ve treated my body? Grayson, I don’t even have words. It has felt so fantastical. So far from reality that I haven’t known how to process any of it. I had done exactly zero of the things we’ve been doing before I met you. It’s been a complete one-eighty from the first twenty-eight years of my life. Going from one extreme to the other like that? I had whiplash.” Deep breath. You got this. “I kept distance between us because I knew it couldn’t possibly be the same for you. I knew we were from completely separate universes, that things had to stay casual. I was so aware that you had just signed divorce papers and that you were forced to be in the same space as me and that things just kind of happened. That it felt good to have a rebound. ”

“Wait a second, Sol –”

“Let me finish.”

“But –”

“Grayson, please.” He leans back against his pillow, dragging me with him, clearly unhappy. “And instead of just enjoying it while it lasted, I locked up. I didn’t want to do anything to ruin things and I thought if I waited for you to initiate that it was a sure-fire way to make sure you were into it. I was terrified to start things because I wouldn’t know how to handle the rejection. But that’s my baggage to deal with. So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t express that to you. That I wanted you and that I’m attracted to you. I’m sorry I didn’t share with you how much this all changed me until now. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Are you finished?”

God, my heart is beating so fast. That is more truth than I think I’ve ever spoken and it’s not even the deep stuff yet. “Yes.”

He adjusts himself so we’re laying face to face. I do not want to be looking at his face for this. I’m good. I’ll pass.

I put my chin to my chest and look down between us, but he just guides me back up.

“I need you to look at me when I say this.” Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. Okay. I am a big girl. I can do hard things. I can face his rejection and I can try to not let it ruin me. Mm. I don’t know about that one. But, he is allowed to feel and want whatever it is that he feels and wants and I cannot lash out at him for that.

“This was not a forced proximity situation for me. Thisisnot a forced proximity situation for me.”

I turn my head, horrified that he’s going to lie to protect my feelings. “Oh, Grayson you don’t have to –”

He grabs my face and holds me where he wants me, noses touching. “Sol. This was not a forced proximity situation for me. I was sucked in from the moment I met you. Carrying you down the hill the first day? I was trying not to lose my goddamn mind. The first time you got pissed and yelled at me? I was done for. Why do you think I worked on the cabin all damn day and night? I was trying to stop thinking about you. I told you in the spring how attracted I was to you. How you drove me crazy.”

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