Page 79 of The Cabin

“I have to go to New York. Sit down with my lawyer. Her lawyer found my separate bank account. They wanna include that in the marital assets. The original paperwork already gave her everything except the money in that account and this cabin. Hugh had ‘gifted’ it to us for the wedding. I talked a lot about wanting to fix it up when we first started dating. I wanted to have a home up here. Natalie hated the idea, so we never came up. I’m sure it’s in her name anyway, though. I thought giving her essentially everything would help make the process as smooth as possible. But she doesn’t stop until she has it all. Never has. So I have to drive six hours to figure out how to not lose every single thing I have.”

“I’m so sorry.” I don’t know if I should touch him or hold him or what. Iwantto do those things, but I don’t know if it’s appropriate for the nature of our relationship. The only times we’ve touched for comfort and not pleasure were initiated by him. Feels too risky. I don’t wanna seem too clingy.

“It is what it is.” He pushes off the counter and starts looking around the house.

“When do you have to leave?”

A bag drops onto the floor in the hallway. “Now.”Now? How am I supposed to figure out an alternative arrangement in ten seconds?

“Oh! Um, okay. I can pack my stuff and head back to my cabin for a few days. I’d have to steal some food from you, but I’ll pay you back.” I scramble to get into the bedroom but don’t get very far.

Grayson drops one of my bags onto the hallway floor along with a stack of my things.

“Oh, wow. Thanks, sorry, I’ll just grab this and be on my way.”

“What are you talking about?” he asks, popping into the bathroom and coming out with both of our toothbrushes.

“I, sorry, oh…I didn’t mean…of course I can stay here and watch your cabin. Sorry, wow. I just didn’t want to impose or anything.” I bend down and start shoving my things into a bag anyway in case he changes his mind. “Or maybe on your way we could stop by Bob’s and I can get my car and then you won’t have to deal with me anyway and can focus on your stuff. He said today, right? Friday?”

Grayson is standing above me, face completely blank. I get back up with my bag all zipped up. “He called this morning. It’s not ready.” His tone is so flat. I’m bothering him. Shit.

“Oh, no biggie. Hanging in my cabin is perfectly fine and I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for anything happening up here. I can come check on it once a day or something...”

“You’re doing it again,” he states, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Doing what?”

“Making yourself small for me.”

“No, I’m –”

“You do this a lot.”

“I mean, yes, I know I have a history of this but I’m not doing that here. I’m trying to be respectful. I’ve been getting better…”

He reaches up to rub his jaw. “Of course you’ve been getting better, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“It sounds like what you’re saying. You just said I do it a lot.”

“I’m saying that right now you’re making yourself small for me and I hate it. I told you I want to know what you want. I want you to act on your needs and desires.”

“I am. I have been.” No, I have not. That’s scary and leads to rejection and embarrassment. I’ve almost exclusively been taking his lead. Even after I told him I have a habit of doing this, I still have been waiting for him to initiate. The BJ yesterday was an add on to something he had already started.

“No, you’re not, Sol. You’re pretending to be cavalier and unaffected. Skirting around me to make sure you’re not bothering me or getting too close or revealing how you actually feel.”

“Wow. Okay Dr. Stoker, is that your official diagnosis? What medicines do you suggest to fix me?”

He throws his head back for a second, holding the bridge of his nose with his fingers. I’m holding my bag in a death grip. “You told me you struggle with this. I get it. But I’m watching you do it with me and I’m trying to support you. You’re baiting me. You offered to sleep on the couch two nights in a row. After I had my tongue in your pussy. Of course we were going to sleep in the same bed, Sol.”

“How would I have known that? I don’t know how you like to navigate these kinds of things!”

“Okay but how doyoulike to navigate ‘these kinds of things’?

I’ve never done something like this! Even if I did know, I wouldn’t say it. Huffing out a breath I answer, “I don’t see how that’s relevant. I’m trying to make sure I don’t impose on your space.”

“Sol, I spend my entire day trying to make sure there’s no space between us. Or as little as possible. But every time I get us there, you pull back immediately.”

“Did my therapist put you up to this? Did you two whisper behind my back about how emotionally stunted I am? Because you sound like she wrote you a script to memorize. To finally get Sol to realize how broken she is.” My hands wave around sarcastically.

---