Page 105 of The Cabin

His entire demeanor shifts with my tone. I watch his shoulders sag and hear him whisper, “Fuck,” to the floor.

Crossing my arms, I lean against one of the windows waiting. He doesn’t speak.

“So that’s it, then? We don’t speak truths to each other anymore?” I am a mother fucking hypocrite, but I already told you, I’ve gone off the deep end. More silence. “Okay, Grayson.”

I need to get out of here. I need to take a breath. I need a minute.

Taking the steps as quickly as possible I walk through to the opposite side of the cars from the patio. I don’t want to walk through a restaurant full of people after I’ve been crying, and getting back to the parking lot will be easier this way.

I end up just leaning my forehead on the passenger side window waiting for Grayson. This is how this relationship goes. We’re literally stuck with each other. And so I know I just have to sit in a truck with him until we get home. I need to calm down first. He does not have to kiss me. He is allowed to not want that. But if he doesn’t want to kiss me, then he can’t do all the other stuff. I just can’t take it. It’s too much.

After ten minutes or so, I hear the doors to the truck unlock and I climb inside. Grayson joins me and pulls out. “Sorry. I had to wait for the check.”

“It’s fine.” He better have tipped, like, fifty percent.

We don’t talk for the rest of the ride. And that’s fine too. I’m not thinking completely clearly anyway. Right now, I feel pretty stable, but it’s all of his reactions that make me insane. I’ve fallen too hard. And everything he does just makes it worse.

I’m pretty used to riding in this truck in the quiet, and it stays like that until we pull into our driveway.Ourdriveway. It isn’touranything.

I start my march towards the door, trying to brainstorm somewhere I can hide out for a minute. I’m probably just going to have to take a shower.

“Sol.” The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Like always. “Come here.” I turn towards him, watching him walk to the side of the cabin. “Now.”

I follow him as best I can, trying to make sure I don’t trip over something in the dark. The porch light comes on when we step onto it, passing the rocking chairs to turn the corner.

He’s standing in front of one of the windows. I think it’s actually the window where we first met. “Grayson, I can’t talk right now, I –”

He pushes me up against the window, pressing himself into me. “That’s fine.” There is zero time to make sense of his response before he threads his fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck and crushes his lips down onto mine. My entire body responds. Instantaneously. I’ve virtually glued myself to his body.

Grayson pulls back, taking me in, and then leans back in to place one…two…three soft kisses on my lips before saying, “I wanted to kiss you right here, just like this, that very first day we met. When I saw you looking in my window.”

“Grayson –”

“Come on.” He takes my hand and leads us to the start of the hill leading down to my cabin. I’m lifted up into his arms bridal style and before I know it he’s got his lips back on mine, holding me close. This time it’s only once before he speaks. “I wanted to kiss you every single second I carried you down this hill. It’s all I could think about.”

There’s absolutely no chance for me to think or process or even breathe, let alone respond.

He puts me down and sends me stumbling towards the truck. I feel the door handle dig into my lower back.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you every single time you’ve gotten into this truck. I wanted to kiss you for all three hundred sixty minutes we drove to New York. And I wanted to kiss you for all three hundred back. I wanted to kiss you with your cum all over my face after messing around in the back of the bed. I wanted to see your lips glisten with it.” Once he’s done, I’m crushed under his body, gasping against his lips ready to go absolutely insane.

Not one single breath to take in this moment.

We stop on the porch again, right in front of the door. “I wanted to kiss your pain away when you fell and twisted your ankle. I wanted to kiss you every time I made you laugh in these rocking chairs. I wanted to kiss you until we both passed out while you read your dirty book to me. I wanted to kiss you when you realized I’d secretly been reading your books so I could recreate them with you. I’ve spent every waking moment trying not to kiss you.”

Grayson grabs my face, one hand on my cheek, the other teasing my throat. His lips descend on mine so slowly. The anticipation enough to have me trying to break through his hold and close the distance. When they do finally touch it feels like getting your favorite dessert from your favorite place.

He drags me right into the cabin. Not a second is wasted as he storms into the kitchen, lifting me up on the island facing the stove. His kiss is dizzying. It’s strong and demanding even without having opened our mouths to each other yet. He breaks the embrace to pepper kisses on both sides of my jaw before bringing us together again. This kiss is just as demanding. And so is the third. “I wanted to kiss you when you walked into this kitchen and wanted to help me cook dinner. I wanted to lay you back on this island and eatyoufor dinner. I wanted to kiss every inch of your body.Includingyour lips. I wanted to kiss you by the sink when we fought over doing the dishes. I wanted to kiss you when the coffee maker exploded. And I wanted to kiss you when I found you in here making me mac and cheese.”

I think I’ve lost all of my brain cells. I think they’ve imploded.

I’m swept off the counter and whisked away into the living room. There is no beginning or end to either of our bodies. We fall tangled up in each other on the couch. Grayson takes my shirt off and kisses his way up my stomach, pausing at my chest. “See? It didn’t matter that you were at that restaurant in a T-shirt and leggings. All that matters is that you were wearing my lingerie underneath.”

The kisses resume their journey up my neck and across my jaw before stopping a breath away from my mouth. “I was going to kiss you right here before my phone rang the first night you came over.” He slips his hand into his back pocket and taps the screen, showing me the pig picture I saw by accident. “I wanted to kiss you for a full year watching you cuddle these baby pigs. You looked so fucking radiant. You were so sweet. They loved you.”

He swipes the screen and a new picture pops up. My heart is melting. “I wanted to dip you in my arms and kiss you over and over and over while that old lady took our picture in front of the pumpkin. I wanted her to catch that moment. I almost fucking did it. I figured I could pretend like it was to mess with you. To keep up with the charade. You would’ve killed me, but it would’ve been worth it. I would’ve gotten to taste you, however briefly, before you lost your shit.”

Damn.

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