Page 109 of The Cabin

“This feels too good to be true.”

“Mm,” he hums, a knowing smile on his lips.

“I think I’m a little scared.”

Grayson reaches over and pulls the elastic band out of my hair. The wet locks fall to my shoulders and he takes a strand to start twirling around his fingers. “I would never, ever hurt you, Sol. I know better than anyone how fake that sounds. Someone stood in front of us, in front of our entire family and said they would take care of us. They lied. I know. But I have meant every single word I’ve said to you.”

So freaking handsome. So genuine. So sweet. So perfect.

“I’m not scared about that. I trust you. I know you.”

He tugs a little on the end of my hair. “Then what is it?”

“It’s me. It’s me I don’t trust. I’m scared that I finally caught glimpses of who I am and I immediately got wrapped up in another man.”

He considers this. I expect him to be offended. Well, I don’t expect Grayson to be offended, he’s not like that at all. I just have baggage that tries to make me feel like he is going to be offended. I should probably keep a list of things to dump on Joanna.

“Does it feel the same? As it did with your ex-husband?”

Mmmmm. “I mean… Iamcompletely consumed by you.” In a really wonderful, beautiful way. I was consumed by Brian in a much different way. But consumed all the same.

“If we were to go our separate ways what would happen?”

“I’d be really freaking sad. Like devastated.”

Grayson leans over into the space between us. I meet him halfway and he presses two reassuring kisses on my mouth. “And after some time had passed? What would happen then?”

“I don’t really understand the question.”

There’s a quiet moment where he collects his thoughts. “Has our time together hurt you in any way? Has it damaged your confidence or how you see yourself?”

I give him an incredulous look. “No! It’s done the exact opposite.”

Another kiss. He lingers, interested in more, but pulls back, trying to refocus. “Okay, so if we broke up,”(Are we dating???), “would you have to come out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere and find yourself? Have you lost any part of yourself since we started being together? Since we met each other?”

“No…”

“Have you changed who you are? Are you sacrificing yourself? Your needs and wants to make me happy?”

“No. I don’t have to.”

“And why’s that?”

My eyes narrow at him, lips pursed. “I mean…I don’t know?”

“Because I am so in love with exactly who you are. I want to spend every day of forever being your number one fan, Sol. Supporting who you are, rooting for you. There’s nothing I want to change, there’s nothing you need to do to earn my love. You have it. Freely and very enthusiastically given. If you change, I want it to be your choice, based on your journey in life. And I want to be right there, watching you grow and evolve. And I want to grow with you. Separately, differently, but completely intertwined.

“So, from where I’m standing, it’s a different kind of consumption. You are consumed by how happy you are, by how much you enjoy us. Not by the desperation of needing to be loved and not being left all alone.”

I think my lips are going to fall off if I get to spend forever with this man. Because I cannot freaking contain myself.

We kiss again, slowly growing needier. Our position is not helping things, reaching over arm rests, and Grayson growls with impatience.

“Get in the grass.” Tingles.

I raise my eyebrows at him, but he just stares me down, raising my blood pressure.

Lifting from my chair, I walk barefoot to a patch of soft grass in the space in front of the cabin where there aren’t any tree roots.

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