Page 100 of The Cabin

“It was like lava.”

“What was?”

“The way you made me come.” I could stay right here forever.

“Fuck, Sol.” He grabs a handful of my ass. “Let me feel that filthy mouth on my cock.”

I slide one hand down his stomach and his eyes go liquid. I’m almost to my destination when he gives a huge sigh and grabs my hand.

“OHmy god! Is there a reason you never let me doanythingto you?”

His smirk should annoy me but it just makes me wet. “Well, at first it was so I could show you how serious I was about making you feel good. That I didn’t want anything besides your cum on me. But this time it’s because we have to get going.”

I groan in frustration. “We live in the middle of the woods! Where the hell do we have to ‘get going’ to?”

His next sentence has my heart in my throat.

“We have tattoo appointments.”

—

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuccckkk. Shit. Shit. Shiiiit.Me cajo en todo. Joder.

Okay. Here’s the deal. I trust Grayson. I really, truly do. That scares the absolute shit out of me, but I am not worried about the tattoo he’s going to give me. I know he’s got me.

It’s me. I’m the problem. This situation is literally a direct representation of the predicament I’m in. Do I hand the tattoo artist the funny design? Or the heartfelt design? Do I give him a fun memory of his time here? Or do I show him how much he means to me? How well I know him. How I want to spend life getting to know him.

I am petrified to cross that line, having to hope that he’ll catch me. (Joanna says that’s why they call itfallingin love.) But outside of my own hesitation, I have a really big worry. A huge construction sign blinking, ‘TURN BACK BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.’

He hasn’t kissed me.

I don’t know why. I can only assume it’s because he wants to keep things casual. He is about the LEAST casual sexual partner in the entire universe, but I can’t come up with any other reasons he wouldn’t do it. He is literally willing to call me his. To tell me we should wake up together every day. And yet he won’t kiss me. The only possible reason I can conjure up is that he misses the romance of being in a relationship and needs it as part of hooking up. Of rebounding and getting back in the saddle or whatever. Maybe he’s just reclaiming sex. He had no control in his sex life with Natalie. Maybe he just needs this.

But he cannot possibly be surprised that he has me feeling the way he does. He is giving off relationship vibes. It is way past lust. Like way,waypast lust. I think for him I was there, he was lonely, he wanted connection, and he found it. He got caught up in having something he was craving for so long, and got carried away. I don’t think he’s faking his actions or words. I just think he’s caught up in the moment. He’s been that way before. He doesn’t realize how deep this is getting. He’s just enjoying feeling wanted in the right way again. We were married people. It’s hard to bump down to no-strings-attached. Old habits die hard. I get it.

The whole point of coming up here, though, was to take control back of my own life. To start actually living. I have practiced a lot of that. And Grayson has been there every step of the way. My biggest obstacle is putting myself out there. If I’m going to live, I need to live my truth. Even if it means getting rejected. If you never try, you never live. You just cower in fear.

—

Grayson and I walk out of the tattoo shop bandaged up and ready to go. Neither of us have seen the design or the final project. Grayson wants to do a big reveal. All I know is that I have a tattoo just under the crease of my elbow on the inside of my forearm and that he also has a tattoo in the same place. That was another one of his stipulations. We had to get them in the same place. It was cute. And it worked great with what I ended up choosing.

“How’d it feel, baby?” I freeze, but Grayson just swings into his truck and starts the engine up.Baby. He’s never called me that outside of sex. Well, he did at the fair to be annoying, but he didn’t mean it then. He means it now. Maybe there’s a class I can sign him up for that explains the difference between casually hooking up and dating???

I recover as quickly as possible, climbing up into the truck and buckling my seatbelt. “It wasn’t too bad, actually. You were a great distraction.” And he was. He talked to me the whole time, making sure I was okay. He made about a million suggestive comments thinking he was being subtle and using innuendos, but everyone knew exactly what was going on, to the point where my tattoo artist giggled and said, ‘Damn, girl. He’s head over heels for you. You are one lucky gal.’ Yeah. Well.

His grin is wicked. “Should we have sex in the parking lot? Let them know how serious I was?” He crawls towards me over the seat.

I push his shoulder. I have to use a lot of force because he’s so big. “Mmm. I don’t think so, pal.” I blink. “Oh, shit, sorry. I was just playing around, I wasn’t thinking! I told you it would never happen again, fuck.”

He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “You’re good, Sol. It’s only if there’s already a heated argument happening and it’s a huge movement towards me. I trust you. You can touch me playfully however you want. The flinches have gone down a lot in the last month.” There is no fucking way I am supposed to be able to sit in this small space with him looking at me like that, saying these heartfelt things and not want to kiss him! To be with him! To marry him for crying out loud!

I give him a smile and nod my head. “Okay.”

Repositioning himself behind the wheel, Grayson backs out of the parking lot. “You ready for our reveal spot?”

“I have no idea what to expect. You could’ve taken this in a million different directions.”

“I like to have the element of surprise.”

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