Page 1 of Resolutions and Love

CHAPTER 1

WILLOW

I used to care about impressing people, men really. I haven’t cared in a while. Maybe too long. No, definitely too long because I have cobwebs where cobwebs should, decidedly, not be. If this date doesn’t go well for something long term, at least it might be an opportunity for me to shake something loose.

I have my doubts about it going well, big ones. I’ve learned it usually doesn’t which is the whole reason I stopped dating in the first place and decided to concentrate on my job and my friends. I love being a voice actor and it means I can work from home, make my own hours, take the jobs I’m passionate about and do what I want, when I want. Granted, I don’t travel nearly as much as I want to, considering I have the time, but at least it’s an option.

When my phone rings, I don’t have to look at the screen to know who it is. I swipe to answer and put it on speaker, calling out, “Yes, I’m still going. Yes, I’m almost ready.”

“Get it girl,” Coral practically screams.

Paisley blows out a relieved breath, “You sure you don’t need help? We thought we might have to come over and force you to put a dress on.” She pauses for a beat, “You shaved your legs, right?”

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. These ladies have been my best friends for as long as I can remember, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, they are more than happy to get me into all sorts of shenanigans, some of which should have been avoided throughout the years.

The time we spent the night in jail in a tiny town in Florida because they were singing Gloria Gaynor at the top of their lungs while we were drunk off our asses was not a highlight for me. I wasn’t singing, but I was just as drunk as them. There was no way I could be the voice of reason. At least once we slept it off, they let us go without much fuss. I’ve never gotten that drunk since.

No, thank you.

I sigh, “Yes, I shaved my legs.” I quickly add, “Just because I shaved my legs doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with this guy.”

It doesn’t matter if I was just thinking about some vagina cobweb cleaning or not, I can’t give my best friends any ammunition. They would encourage me and kidnap the little angel, who is always the voice of reason, right from my shoulder, never to be seen or heard from again.

Paisley sounds skeptical, “Above the knee?”

I roll my eyes even though she can’t see it. “Yes, considering my dress is a little bit above the knee anyway, I figured I’d need to go all the way up.”

“Ooo,” Coral holds the sound out, trilling it to make it sound way more salacious than it is. “All the way up,” she giggles.

Paisley lets out a snort of laughter and then we’re all laughing together. This is why they are my best friends. No man could ever take their place in my heart with how much they mean to me. At the same time, I can’t cuddle with my girls the way I can with a man.

Not just any man either. My ideal man isn’t some jacked up gym bunny. I want a man with a little extra around the hips who likes to cuddle and has snacks at the ready. Do I drool over the dad bod videos on social media? Hell yes, I do.

I’m not some waif myself. I have more than a little padding. I love my curves and embrace them fully, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have insecurities. I want a man who I’m not going to be concerned with breaking. If he wants to suffocate while I sit on his face, even better. Throw in some tattoos and maybe a little daddy vibe action and I might just genuflect at his feet without even a hint of embarrassment.

Little butterflies leap from their cocoons in my stomach as nervousness fills me. It’s been a few years since I’ve been on a date and I’m not sure online dating is right for me. It’s so difficult to get a read on the person when all you’re doing is sending chats back and forth. I know how long it takes me to craft my messages sometimes, making sure to tuck any of my crazy behind closed doors. I can’t be the only one who does this.

I flop down on my bed and groan, “I’m not sure if I can do this.”

Coral lets out a sigh, she’s never been one to let a moment of doubt cloud her mind. She’s all in, all the time. I envy her fling yourself into it and hope for the best later attitude. I could use a little bit of it right now. Coral also is a serial dater. She loves love and seems to always bounce back whenever it goes wrong, able to move on with ease.

Paisley’s voice is soft, “Will, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen up close. First off, I would shave your head and make a wig out of it if I could. You’re eyes sparkle and shit. Your curves are drool worthy and totally what a real man will appreciate. You’re kind and smart.” She giggles a little as I blush furiously. “You also have that sultry voice thing which makes you great at your job. Guys love a sexy voice.”

I stand up, almost tripping over the heels I still need to put on, determination filling me with her words. Sometimes you only need your bestie to tell you how it is for life to seem much more possible. That’s why she’s one of my people. I know, coming from Paisley, she understands my struggles. She’s no size two and she’s always been a little shyer when it comes to guys.

We made a pact this year about turning over a new leaf and do the whole new year, new me declaration. Our dating lives have been in the doldrums, so we decided it was a good place to put our energy since everything else is on track.

“You’re right,” there’s conviction in my voice and my shoulders pull back. Which also pushes out my not so small breasts. I hope this Eric guy can look beyond my tits. Guys seem to have a problem doing that. “I won’t know unless I try, and Eric seemed nice enough. I don’t think I’m going to fall in love and be swept off my feet, but I can meet the dude for a drink.”

“That’s the spirit,” Coral crows.

We take a few more minutes chatting and promising to catch up and plan a girl’s night out soon. When my girls are no longer in my ear, a few doubts seep back in. I push them to the side because I’ve always been badass like that and finish getting ready for my date. I’m meeting this guy at Aces, a club downtown. Apparently, Eric knows one of the bartenders there and we won’t have a problem getting in, even if it’s busy.

I try not to be skeeved out and try to find it impressive. I mean, it is a connection. One I don’t have, for sure. I haven’t been to Aces with the girls before, but I’ve been to The Den and from what I understand one of the owners is the same. Going to a club isn’t my usual thing, but I like letting my hair down now and again.

Since I’ll be having a drink or two, I decide to get a ride to Aces. I’m glad it’s not snowing tonight. The forecast for tomorrow is a whole other matter and I plan to spend the day warm and cozy in my apartment because of it. Will there be wine? Oh, for sure along with some major catching up done on my shows.

I’m extra glad I grabbed the ride when I see the parking around Aces is ridiculous. I get out of the car quickly, pulling my coat around my body and try not to trip in my heels as I hurry toward the door of the club. It’s too damn cold to be outside for long, especially in my dress.

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