Page 90 of Ensnared

AndIunderstand that too.

Hishand strokes over my hair like the breeze of a breath, andIfeel the tingles all the way down my spine.

Thenhis fingers curl, and he draws away.

Iwatch it happen.Inso many tiny little ways,Iwatch him pull back.

Andwith a portentous, glacial crash, every hope and romantic breath in my body shatters.

“Eden,” he says, so heavily, andIturn my face away.

Inmy name, in that one word,Ihear the apology.Thebrutal empathy.Theguillotine over my dreamy imaginings.

Thetingles in my spine become ice daggers.Dreadreaches up through black waters and pools in my stomach.

Thiswasn’t a seduction.Itwas a rejection.

“Ican’t be anything to you.Notanything more than a friend.”Hiswords are careful, stilted.Sopainfully, gratingly unnatural. “ButIwillbe a friend—Ipromise you that.”

Mylids sink shut, as my throat closes over.Iduck my head, hardly noticing as my forehead comes to rest on his thigh.

Ican’t bear for him to see my face.

HowdidInot see this coming?HowutterlyI’vejust humiliated myself.

“Eden,Ican’t go through it again, do you understand?Ican’t fall for another person when we can’t be what we need for one another.”Ihear him swallow, and his thigh quivers. “Youwill be happy withLucien.WithBeaumont, andJaykob, and evenDominic.Imeant it whenIsaid you deserve happiness,Eden... it just won’t be with me.”

Ifeel the air change, lose its charge.Everythingturns dull and flat.

“I’vecaused enough hurt,” he whispers. “Thekindest thingIcan do for you is to leave you in peace.”

HowdidIjust spend the last hour questioning the lengthsIwould go to for us to be together and not realize he was explaining all the reasons why we couldn’t?

Iwasn’t alone in an abyss withJasper, after all.

Iwas just alone.

Afat, hot tear drops off my face and onto the fabric of his pants, and he falls utterly still.

HowamIstillsuch a foolish little girl?

Ipull back fromJasper—too suddenly, but he’ll have to forgive me that.Itdoesn’t feel right, now, to be sitting here at his feet.Notwhen he doesn’t want to keep me.Notwhen this thing between us is shockingly, embarrassingly one sided.Onceagain,Ifeel fooled into thinkingI’dfound a home.

Standing,Ibrush down my dress, and my eye catches the board.

Hisgaze touches me everywhere.

Thepieces come into sharp focus, andIshake my head. “You’vewon, then.”

WhenIlook at him, finally, his eyes are humiliatingly compassionate. “Youplayed exceedingly well.Youhave a mind for it.”

Ibite the inside of my lip.Hard.Thetears well anyway.

Movingto the game,Iknock over my king.

“Butin the end,Ialways lose.”

Chapter23

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