Page 55 of Ensnared

Oh.Ohhhno.Yeah,Iamnothaving this conversation.

“Domsaid five, right?Weshould get moving.I—”

Thosebeautiful lips purse into a severe line. “CaptainSladecan wait.”

There’sa threat in his words, a warning, and that tone from him is like the bell forPavlov’sdogs.I’mso hardIhurt.Iache.

ButI’mused to aching forJasper.

Inod in response, not trusting my voice, and the line of his mouth softens in approval.Helikes it whenIdisobeyDomfor him.Iknow he does.Ijust wishDomdidn’t hand me my ass every timeIdid it.

Rightnow, it seems like a good deal though.It’sstill early, butJasperis groomed and pristine.Hisshirt is immaculate, and the combination of silky soft fabric and hot, hard man always unravels me.Duringone of our scenes, after he’d whipped me untilIwas wrung raw and crying at his feet, he rewarded me by wrapping one of those used silk shirts around my swollen cock and stroking me untilIspilled everythingIhad into the fabric.Eventhe thought of it makes me want to pass out all over again.

SometimesIwonder if he ever wears that shirt.Ifit could be the one he’s wearing right now.

OrifIruined it that day as much as he’s ruined me.

Jasperstands up, so very close.He’staller than me and it makes me want to straighten—some small, heteronormative part of meIthoughtIrationalized away years ago wanting to prove thatI’mjust as tough.Thatjust becauseI’msubmissive to him, it doesn’t make me less of a soldier, or less of a man.

Ridiculous.

Heknows that as well asIdo.Hell, he’s the one who helped me work through a lot of my conflicted feelings about my sexuality.Butstill.Istand straight, shoulders back, and it brings our lips within inches.Wehaven’t been this close in almost a year and a half.Justfor a moment,Iwonder if he’s finally going to kiss me.

Instead, he lifts his hand from my belt and cups the side of my face.Afew strands of inky, satin hair fall over his forehead.He’snot teasing now.He’snot severe.Dark, grave eyes caress my face.

Tensioncoils inside me, andItremble under his grip.I’venever seen him look at me this way, not even in the depths of a scene.

“Youseem very taken with her,” he says softly, andIcan feel his breath on my mouth.

Myerection strains for attention, but there is an inch of space between every part of our bodies, except where his hand holds me in place.Wherehe stops me from floating away.Ifeel magnetized against him, like that space can’t be closed.Likeit won’t ever be, not with us.

“Sodo you.”Mywords are just as soft as his, but they’re glass in my throat.Ithurts, it hurts, ithurts.Helooked at her like he wascaptivated.Owned.Alive.

Butnot at me.

Notlike that.

I’mnot usually a jealous person, butI’mjealous of him.I’mjealous of her too.I’mjealous that it’s so uncomplicated for them to be together but for some reason it’s the hardest thing in the world for us.

Itmust be becauseI’ma man, but the conversation has never been on the table, andI’vebeen too chicken shit to ask.Inever wanted the confirmation that there’s no hope for us.

“Shecould be the solution to a problem of mine.”Jasperrests his forehead on mine, and my breath falters at the contact.Histhumb moves along my jaw.Hehesitates, and the moment is so unlikeJasper,Iwonder ifI’vebeen transported to some other reality.Finally, he murmurs, “IfIasked something selfish of you, would you do it?”

Ashiver courses down my spine, raising gooseflesh on my arms.Mymouth dries up.God,Iwant him to be selfish with me.Iwant him to take and take untilI’mwrung out and spent.Partof me wants to make a joke, to lighten the mood, because he can’t be saying whatIthink he’s saying—and ifI’mwrong, it really will destroy me.

Becausethere’s this other part of me that doesn’t have a sense of humor at all.Thatpart of me is desperate, and lonely, and has ached for him to touch me like this for too many years to count.

“Anything.I’lldo anything for you,”Iwhisper, finally meeting his eyes.

I’mshaking, my body fighting against this rising tide of hope.Hewouldn’t look at me like this if he didn’t care, right?

Hisgrip tightens painfully.Thenhis forehead rolls against mine, just slightly. “Youdon’t even know whatI’masking yet,” he mutters, letting out a sound suspiciously close to a groan.

Itgoes right to my dick.He’sconfusing me now.Forthe first time sinceI’veknown him, he seemsundone.

“Jasper?Sir?”Hiseyes come back to mine, full of a banked heat that thrills me. “Areyou okay?”

Hedoesn’t answer, but the pad of his thumb brushes over my lips.Ishudder, caught.Myevery atom zeroes in on that single point of contact.

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