Page 124 of Entangled

“Hey, beautiful. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. No more running off on me, okay? I don’t think I can take it.” I mean it as a tease, but it comes out upset and too stressed.

I wonder if I can steal a pair of Jasper’s handcuffs and just fix us together for a while. Like a few years. It might be long enough to get my anxiety under control.

Eden’s lips press together, and she swallows, fretful lines appearing in her forehead. She glances at Jasper but doesn’t quite meet his gaze.

“Do you mind—?” She cuts off, then bites her lip. Are thosetears? “May I say goodbye?”

Goodbye?I give Jasper a sharp look.

Jasper closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, they’re soft as a raven’s wing. “Of course, Eden.”

Eden turns, then walks over to me like each step is agony. Dread sinks into me. It sticks around my organs like sludge, making it hard to breathe. When she reaches me, she still doesn’t look up, but wraps her arms around my waist. I’m quick to wrap mine around her too, firm enough that she can’t get away easily, though my body is already starting to panic. What is this? My heart pounds.

“You’re scaring me,” I whisper to her. I can feel the press of her forehead against my chest. The rims of her glasses. She’s lost weight again in the last few weeks. She’s delicate and fucking precious in my arms.

She shakes her head and looks up, and her eyes are red-rimmed with the tears she’s trying not to shed. I don’t like this. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure Ihateit.

Her hand finds my cheek, and her fingers gently stroke my beard. She has nice fingers, deft and graceful.

“This is for the best, Lucky. It really is,” she whispers back.

Panic spikes. “Whatis?”

The hollow of her throat goes taut. “It never should have been me. It was never meant to be. I’ve been so blind, but I see it now.”

Her lips roll in, and a tear spills over. I catch it with the backs of my fingers, and watch the glistening drop melt against my skin. No. This doesn’t make sense. Why is she crying? What is shesaying? Why is it suddenly so hard to breathe?

“I don’t—” I start.

“He loves you, Lucky,” she says, so quietly even I can hardly hear it. “He loves you so much. I think he’s finally ready to admit it. You don’t have to be lonely for him anymore. You can be happy together—and I really...” Her voice catches. “I really want you to be happy, Lucky.”

Every muscle in my body locks up, my brain caught on that one phrase.

He loves you.

He loves you.

He loves you.

He loves you.

He loves you.

I feel the barest brush of soft, warm lips against mine—the dream of a kiss. And then they’re gone. Eden steps back, and all the warmth is sucked away in a puff of icy air.

“Be happy, Lucky.”

I’m still paralyzed as she walks to the door. As she leaves. As her footsteps retreat.

It never should have been me.

“No,” I say into the silence. The loss of her, the panic, it cracks like lightning, and I move toward the door, though I know she’s already gone.Again. “No, no, no.”

What does shemeanit never should have been her? It wasalwaysmeant to be her. Her reluctant smiles and secret mischief. The way she looks covered in kimchi. The warmth and friendship she drowned me in when I was gasping from the loneliness of it. Her scandalized pleasure and quiet vulnerability. Her selfless fucking bravery.

“No!” I shout at the empty hall, my hand a fist in my hair.

This isn’t right. This isn’t how this is meant to be.

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