Page 7 of His Queen

All he cares about is money and the man beside me scares me more than anything I have ever witnessed in my life and I grew up as the Mafia Don’s daughter.

Chapter 5

Vladimir

A week later

I’vebeengoingtoclubs every night that I’ve been in Russia. In an attempt to try to just erase the few hours I spent with her from existence. But fuck, it didn't work. She is there in my head when I close my eyes. I can't get her out of my mind. Every time I see a redhead, I turn as if I'm going to see her in Russia. In these small clubs, women will do anything to escape the rundown establishments in Kolomna, even if it means clinging to someone nearby.

Russia has some of the most beautiful women in the world and I can't even enjoy it. The one I wanted didn't even tell me who she was. I haven't slept well, not being able to stay connected to her in the way I want. But this will pass. I have no choice. The odds of ever seeing her again are astronomical. You meet women every day just through normal means like bars, clubs, the gym, street parking, and places of work.

People make connections every day. Through their efforts and will. Meaning they work for it and want it and most often keep the lines of communication open and work to achieve their end goal. You might not hear from that person again. Which is normal, but my reasons won't allow me to just have a normal encounter with anyone else. No. The memory of Maria isn't something I can just put out of my mind as if it never happened. It stays lodged firmly in my mind at all hours of the day and night.

Instead, I sit here trying to force a connection with anyone else. But my dick won't even respond. Instead, it stays in my pants semi-limp with little interest in females or the prospect of using them as a way to release tension. My cock rarely gets hard anymore when I look at another woman. As a rich man in the Bratva, I have always had anyone I want. My bed was never empty. If there was a sexy girl within range and I wanted her. I would bury myself in her, taking my pleasure any way I wanted.

Now ... nothing. No reaction whatsoever. It’s as if I’ve transformed into a monk overnight. I never had any inclination to experience such a profound connection. There is no one else for me at this point. As a savvy businessman and an intelligent one at that, comprehending that I may have missed my chance and sabotaged it by pushing it away won’t be an issue. I’ve had my fair share of encounters with women, but this was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The connection was instantaneous, like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

I down my whiskey and get up from the VIP section where I am sitting. Fuck it, I might as well leave. The moment I go to stand, I see a gorgeous woman strolling toward me. This brunette has curves for days. It takes me a minute to realize what has happened, but then she is straddling my legs. Her round tits smash against my chest. She smells amazing, too. It's the thought of another woman I can't seem to shake. Shit. I toss a bill on the table and haul her ass over my shoulder caveman-style as I carry her outside.

I set her on her feet in front of my car. I pull her into my chest and wrap my hand on the back of her head. I kiss her, and she kisses me back. But I don't feel anything for this woman. Not even sexual attraction. I have to get Maria out of my system. I know I won't ever see her again. How can I pine for a woman I don't even know?

My car is in a dark, unlit part of the lot. A great fucking place to hide from the crowd. I just need to fuck this random woman and get her out of my system. Even if the thought makes me feel ill. I bend her over the hood of my Porche and lift her dress. I speak no words as I yank her panties to the side and put the condom on my half-hard cock.

I slam it into her with no mercy or care. With each thrust of my hips into this random woman’s pussy, I feel more anger. Anger over the fact that she isn't who I should be fucking. Who I want to be fucking. But it's not like it will matter. Once I cum inside her pussy, I will end my obsession with the beautiful redhead who has a fiery soul and a sassy disposition. I imagine Maria is the one bent over my car. My orgasm overtakes me faster than I expected. Her pussy has a warm silken grasp around me, but it's not Maria's. My thoughts and fantasies have definitely led to unrealistic expectations.

I pull out and tie the condom closed, making sure to dispose of it in the personal trash that I have in my car.

"You can go."

The woman looks furious and huffs when she turns to go back into the club. While attempting to pull her dress back into place. I get into the driver's seat of my car and grip the steering wheel hard. The thoughts of Maria invading my thoughts. My hands shaking in frustration over the inability to lose her memory. Nothing I do stops the incessant calling of her. Nothing.

"Son of a bitch."

Exiting my car, I quickly grab my keys and make my way to the car's side, where I kick the wall. Mother fucker. Is this what the rest of my life will be? The inability to connect with another woman? I can achieve the physical component as long as I think about her. Maybe that could work for a short-term relationship with someone who needed something and didn't want a full commitment. A relationship where I would have to keep the emotional piece somewhat off-limits. Was it even possible? I know at some point I will have to get married and have heirs.

I walk back into the club; grab my bottle of whiskey and head back to the VIP section. Fucking Maria is still invading my thoughts. Maybe it won't be impossible to maintain a relationship. Like the woman is never coming back and can't pursue anything else until these feelings wane.

After a couple of more shots, the warmth numbs me and replaces the inner rage that never seems to stop now. This isn't helping me and soon I will need to deal with that fact. Tomorrow will have to do. Tonight I just allow the alcohol to do my thinking for me. Fuck this. I head back to my suite alone. I'm almost done here and then I will head back to Brooklyn and start my duties as Demetrius' second in command. Maybe I will be too busy to think about her. Hopefully, that will help with the mourning of losing the love of my life and having no idea how to get her out of my mind, my soul.

A woman I met once.

I think I finally understand how Demetrius felt about Luna when he first saw her. When he first told me, I thought he was crazy. Now here I am. He saw her on the street randomly and felt love at first sight. Sure, they had some really big things to overcome. But that never deterred him, not once. He wanted her and he made sure he got her.

Then there is me. I found the one I would consider my twin flame, my soul mate, the one who my soul craves and I don't even know how to find her again. I need to move on from this or just face the facts. There will never be another, and when I marry, it will be to have heirs. Nothing else.

Sure, I will be good to that woman, faithful, and kind. I'm not the kind of man who could mistreat a woman. My heart will never be in it. But marriage is not a temporary deal. It just won't be a genuine connection that forever will bring about love and devotion. The devotion will be there. I will never make her feel like she is playing second fiddle to another on purpose. But there will never be anyone that can even compare to her. She's one of a kind, and only she could ever fill that void inside.

I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Fuck. Am I even looking for love or just sex with a willing woman to keep my heart from breaking? It's not even relevant, right? Just to enjoy the pleasure you bring to the bed. That is it. What a life. I found a woman I felt a pure connection with and she snuck out on me before I could learn how to find her again. I'm sure she hasn't even thought about me at all and here I am, yearning for someone who isn't even interested. Hell, she probably doesn't even remember me. Or if she does, it’s just in the terms of a one-night stand. Fuck, I am one sick bastard.

I need to get over this and move on.

Chapter 6

Rose

A month later

I'vebeenforcingmyselfto go through the motions. The longer I am home, the more I notice how my dad treats Lena. I can see the sadness in her eyes and it makes me feel guilty for all the nasty shit I thought about her. She didn't want to marry my father. We should be friends, a shoulder for each other to lean on because if this is what our lives are, we can at least have someone to support us and help. My mom would never have allowed this kind of life for anyone. I miss her more than ever. All the same, though, there is this desperate part inside of me that wants nothing more than for someone to save me from my fate.

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