Page 63 of Keep Me Close

It’s so strange having someone else in my kitchen. Someone who isn’t a tiny person. Everett practically dwarfs everything around him, and it’s kind of extra adorable to see him there. We make good progress until he reaches for a glass in my hand and his fingers linger on mine. My heart stills in my chest, and he peers into my eyes. Once again, he glances at my lips. I’m mesmerized, unable to move like prey caught by a predator. Time stands still between us, and my whole body wants this.

But then he clears his throat and takes the glass, drying it. Vigorously.

Once again, reality hits me. I’ve turned him down twice in a row. He’s not going to make the next move. If anyone is going to, it has to be me.

But should I?

There are a thousand reasons getting involved with my son’s father is a bad idea. I’m not naïve enough to believe we could be fuck buddies of any kind. Not with all our baggage between us. And also, I don’t want that. The question remains, what do I want?

Everett. I want Everett.

It’s not just a physical thing, either. Though the extra muscle he’s packed on over the years helps. But that’s not it. He’s grown. He’s become this complicated, sensitive, funny man who has fallen in love with our son. How can I not want that for myself? When I reach into the soapy water and find nothing, I panic. If there’s no more dishes to wash and dry, he might leave.

“Looks like that’s it,” he says quietly.

Crap. He knows.I pull the drain out. “Yep. Guess we’re finished.” But I don’t want to be.

He fakes a yawn, and it’s the worst fake yawn I have ever seen. “I suppose I’ll let you get to bed.”

I shake the excess water from my hands before reaching for a towel, but then he takes my hands in his, using the drying towel on my skin. Each stroke is slow and careful, as if I’m a precious flower and he’s ensuring not to bend a single petal. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve experienced in years, and my body goes tight with every motion.

When my hands are dry, I whisper, “Thank you.”

He nods once. “Goodnight, Aria.”

My brain shorts out at the thought of him leaving, but then I remember my manners. “Let me walk you out.”

It’s the longest walk of my life. But that might be because I am dragging my feet. I don’t want him to go. I know what I said, and I don’t care. Every cell in my body yearns for this. His muscles flex under his sweater as he puts his coat on, and my mouth waters while my body thrums. This cannot be a good thing.

It's just lust. You’ll get over it. You’re a sex camel, remember? You don’t need it all the time like everyone else does. Just breathe. He’ll be gone soon.

Reluctantly, I open the front door. The air is dry and frosty outside, and my body hates it. It’s warm and cozy inside. With Everett. I don’t want him to go. My heart is so heavy right now, and my brain is almost on mute. “I’m glad you came, Everett.”

“So am I, Aria. So am I.” He smiles wistfully, standing in the doorway. “I’ll call you or text or something. We can figure out how to move forward together. I won’t show up on your doorstep unannounced again. I promise.”

It’s hard to keep the words inside. I want to order him not to go. To stay the night. But if I do that… “Okay. Um, thanks for that.”

“Thanks for everything. Sweet dreams, Aria.” He turns.

But instinct takes over. I grab him by his coat and tug him back into my condo. When he sees me this time, he’s confused. “What—"

I pull him to my lips and lose myself in his mouth once more.

-

29

Aria

Without breaking the kiss, Everett nudges the door shut behind himself. I strip his coat from his shoulders, and he nibbles on my bottom lip. His fingers run beneath my hair, skating on the back of my scalp, and they make me shiver. It’s all I can do not to beg him to take me right here, right now.

He presses his forehead to mine and pulls his lips away. We’re both panting, and my core is wound tight while my mind races. Why did he stop kissing me? He murmurs, “What about complications?”

My breath is less than a whisper. “I don’t care.”

He gulps. “Shouldn’t we, though? I’m trying to do the right thing here, Aria. I don’t have much experience with that, so help me figure this out.”

“Everett.” I stand tall to look him in the eyes properly. I have to admit this, even if I sound irrational. “When I first touched you all those years ago, it felt right. Like you were the person I’m supposed to touch. Since then, every time I have, it still feels that way. Maybe that makes me sound crazy, but—"

---