Page 23 of Puck Me

I’m sure it’s the same thing with this. “How do I look?” I ask as I move almost painfully slowly past the point where she is observing my progress.

“Like you’re afraid you’re going to fall at any second.”

“That sounds about right.”

“What is the worst that could happen? Honestly.”

“Please, don’t get me thinking about that. It took long enough for me to heal up last time.” Even now, my tailbone will sometimes ache. Like up in Seattle – all that rainy weather left it throbbing. I wonder if I broke it. I guess that’s what I get for being too embarrassed to admit I didn’t know how to skate. And I’ll always have that ache to remind me how useless pride can be.

“Pretty soon, I’ll have you doing crossovers,” she predicts, then laughs gleefully at what has to be a look of horror on my face. “Relax. I’m not going to make you do it today or even tomorrow. You’re fine.”

“One thing at a time.” It’s a relief to come to a stop and hang onto the boards to take a rest. “I hope you don’t think you’re going to turn me into a great skater overnight.”

She makes a big deal of checking her watch, frowning. “No, I think that ship sailed a long time ago. At this rate, I’d be glad to turn you into a just okay skater.”

“Thank you so much for your faith in me.” We’re both laughing by the time we sit down where we left our shoes. As awkward as I still am, I can’t pretend there isn’t a little bit of pride swelling in my chest. I’m nobody’s idea of a pro, but I’ve come a long way. There’s something satisfying about that. It makes me wonder what else I could accomplish that I haven’t even considered yet.

“So…” I know as soon as she glances around like she’s making sure nobody’s listening in that I’m in trouble. “How’s it going with you-know-who?”

“Is that what this impromptu lesson was all about?” I hold up my hand to my ear like I’m holding a phone. “Hey, Harlow, my schedule is free this afternoon if you have a little time during your break.”

“That’s not even how I sound,” she grumbles.

“That’s exactly how you sounded. Pretending all we were going to do was skate.”

“It’s not my fault you’ve been so busy lately – but really, I just wanted to hang out. And hey, you got a nice midday workout out of it.”

“Thank you so much.” But I can’t be mad at her. “And to answer your question, nothing’s happening.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.” I wish she would take the hint. I really do. It’s not bad enough that I’m uncomfortable talking about this in the first place, but it means having to lie to her. Every lie I tell only makes things worse. Eventually, there won’t be any coming back from it.

But it’s my fault she found out in the first place. I shouldn’t have let Ryder sleep over, even if it was innocent.

Especially when I know if I were to do the same thing with Ash, Ryder would throw it in my face.

“So you’re not together?” she asks with doubt dripping from her voice.

“Listen.” Once my shoes are on, I turn in the seat to look her straight in the eye. “It was inappropriate in the first place. It should never, ever have happened. And that’s all I can say. Please, I would rather not talk about it anymore. No offense to you or anything. But it’s so touchy.”

She sticks her bottom lip out in a parody of a pout. “You don’t trust me? Is that what you’re saying?”

The thing is, I don’t. But then I don’t trust Ruby enough to tell her everything about this, either, and Ruby is nowhere near the arena the way Corey always is. She doesn’t run into various players throughout her day. There’s no chance of her showing up at my front door unannounced with a box of donuts and discovering me in bed with the wrong person. But I still haven’t told her, no matter how much I want to. And I’ve known Corey for, like, two minutes when compared to the amount of time Ruby and I have been friends.

No. It’s just too dangerous.

“The less I talk about it, the safer for me,” I finally announce with a firm nod. “And that’s all there is to it.”

“Fair enough. I only want to make sure you’re doing okay, anyway.”

“I am.” Well, that’s not exactly true. I’m still furious with Ryder – a couple of days spent without contact hasn’t really helped that. The audacity! If anything, spending a little time thinking things over has only made me angrier. The nerve to stand there and judge me. He always jumps to the wrong conclusion. I’m starting to wonder what kind of an opinion he has of me in the first place – though I’m sure if I ever accused him of having a low opinion of me, he’d blame it all on Ash. Like I’m some gullible idiot who needs looking after.

Not for the first time, I notice her checking her phone and biting her lip. “What’s up?” I finally ask.

She almost drops her phone, startled. “Nothing. Why?”

“Because your attention is all over the place and it seems like there’s somewhere else you need to be.”

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