Page 41 of State of Bliss

He’d never understand the mind of a killer, how they could take someone else’s life without thinking a thing of it in some cases. Sure, he’d seen the cases where something went terribly wrong, and someone ended up dead at another person’s hands—and the killer was absolutely devastated. But those instances were rare. Most of the time, it was someone like Tori who wanted someone like Rachel out of the way, and they thought murder was the best way to achieve that goal.

Murder would never make sense to him, which was a good thing, he supposed. The minute the urge to kill another person made sense to him, it would be time to hang up his badge.

He pulled up outside his apartment building and parallel parked. After the recent incident at the home of FBI Agent Avery Hill and his wife, Shelby, Sam had urged their team to make sure their residences were as secure as possible. People Hill had arrested years ago had shown up looking for him and had taken his pregnant wife and young son hostage. The incident was a good reminder that something similar could happen to any of them. Over the course of a career, they arrested a lot of people who’d like to blame the police rather than themselves for their troubles.

It wasn’t unheard of for them to come out of prison seeking retribution from the people who’d sent them there. Avery and Shelby had had a close call, and it had to serve as a wake-up call to the rest of them.

Gonzo needed to find a more secure home for his family. The thought of something happening to them because of his work was unbearable. He truly felt for Avery Hill, who was planning to move his family to a gated fortress in the city’s Northwest quadrant. Since they were still in debt from his long stay in rehab, Gonzo and Christina couldn’t afford anything like that. But they could do better than a building in which the security cameras didn’t work more often than they did.

He charged up the stairs toward the people he loved the most, both of whom were sound asleep when he checked on them. Alex had a smile on his face even when he was asleep, Gonzo noted as he kissed his son’s sweaty forehead. The kid was the sweatiest sleeper ever, which brought his daddy endless amusement. Everything he did amused Gonzo. For now, anyway. He knew the years were coming when his son would challenge his father’s patience. But even that was something to look forward to.

In the months since he’d gotten sober, he was drowning in gratitude, most especially for the woman who’d stood by him in his darkest days. He sat on the edge of the mattress to brush the hair back from her face. Pregnancy was kicking her ass, leaving her exhausted at the end of every long day as a mother and Nick’s press secretary at the White House.

Gonzo leaned in to kiss her cheek and then got up to take a shower, needing to wash the grime of this day off his body and soul. Sometimes, it was just too damned much, and lately… As they uncovered more and more crimes committed by their former lieutenant, Gonzo carried a perpetual knot in his belly at how much worse it might get before the full picture was revealed. And what would the fallout be for the department, for people he cared about and respected, such as their chief of police, Joe Farnsworth?

Like it or not, many of Stahl’s crimes had taken place on Farnsworth’s watch. Would their beloved chief be held accountable for that? Would Farnsworth be forced to resign? And if so, who would take his place, and how would that change everything?

The questions gnawed at him as he stood under the warm water.

He startled when the shower door opened, and Christina stepped in behind him, wrapping her warm, naked body around his. “You’re supposed to be sleeping,” he said as he covered her hands with his.

“I fell asleep five minutes after I tucked Alex in. I didn’t get to shower.” She rested her head on his back. “Rough day?”

“Rougher than most.”

“What can I do?”

He leaned back into her. “This is helping. How was your day?”

“Long. Still dealing with the bullshit about Nick’s mother and her arrest, and the nausea has become an all-day event.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That sucks.”

“Sure does, but she’ll be worth it, or so I’m told.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Me, too.”

Gonzo moved carefully to turn so he was facing her, tipping her chin up for a kiss. She had dark circles under her eyes and was paler than usual, which worried him. “Should you check in with the doc about the nausea?”

“There’s nothing much they can do about it. Hopefully, it’ll pass before too much longer.”

“Let me take care of you.” He moved so she could stand under the water while he washed and conditioned her blonde hair, tossing in a scalp massage that made her purr.

“Feels good.”

He soaped her up, added a rubdown of her shoulders and noted her larger, heavier breasts and the gentle swell of her abdomen. “Pregnancy looks hot on you, babe.”

She grunted out a laugh. “I feel like a swollen whale, and nothing fits.”

“Don’t talk about my gorgeous wife that way, and if you need new clothes, get them. Whatever you want or need.”

“Do you still want to move?” Her brows came together as she frowned. “The thought of that is so overwhelming right now.”

“I want us to find somewhere safer after what happened to Shelby and Noah. We can hire packers and movers. I’ll take care of everything. The only thing you have to do is help me find the place.”

“I can do that,” she said on a yawn.