Page 152 of State of Bliss

“I love him! I have always loved him. Was I ready to be a mother at sixteen? No, I was not. Did I fuck it up every which way? I did, and I regret that. I’ve always regretted that, but after a while, the cuts are so deep, there’s no fixing them.”

“So you set out to make the cuts deeper?”

“Not intentionally. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I mean that. I never meant to hurt him. He’s… Well, he’s the best thing I’ve ever done, even if I had nothing to do with him turning out the way he did.”

Sam couldn’t believe she was starting to believe the woman. “Is this because he’s president, and you want to use his position to better your own?”

“No, it’s not. I’m ridiculously proud of him. My heart swells every time I see him on TV, looking so handsome and commanding.”

“Mine does, too,” Sam said. “I love him more than anything in this world. More than my own life. He’s the best person I’ve ever known, and that’s saying something, because before him, I would’ve said my dad was. But Nick is even better than him, and my dad set a very high bar.”

"He’s been too good for the likes of me his whole life.”

“Yes, he has. If I let you have access to him, I need to be certain you aren’t going to cause him more pain. He’s suffered over you being in trouble and in jail. He wished he could help you, even though he knew he couldn’t do that and survive politically as well as ethically. So you need to be sure. If we let you in, you get one chance. If you fuck it up, that’s it. Game over.”

“I understand,” she said, seeming as if she was speaking through gritted teeth.

“Do you? Because I mean it when I say I will personally make sure you can’t hurt him. At the first sign of your usual bullshit, you’re gone.”

“I get it.”

“I need to think about this and talk to him about it.”

“How long will that take?”

“As long as it needs to. This is a big ask on your part.”

“Fine. I’ll wait to hear back from you, then.”

“I’ll let you know either way.” She gave her phone a very satisfying slap closed, relieved to be done with that conversation.

She’d no sooner had that thought than Nick came in the front door, smiling when he saw her.

He came over to kiss her. “Why are you all tense?”

“Because I just talked to your mother.”

He straightened, going tense himself. “What did she say?”

“She wants you in her life and is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that goal, including no longer being an asshole.”

“Did you believe her?”

“She did seem somewhat… sincere. She said she loves you, has always loved you, and is so proud of you, her heart wants to burst from her chest when she sees you on TV as president.”

“Oh, well… That’s nice to hear.”

Sam ached for the little boy inside him who’d waited his whole life to hear that his mother loved him and was proud of him. “What do you want to do?”

“That’s up to you.”

“No, babe,” she said softly, “it’s up toyou. I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”

“Even if I decide I want to see her?”

“Even if.”

“Let’s go sit together. I want to hold you.”

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