Page 1 of We End With Us

Nothing,absolutely nothing, is what I feel right now as I stare outside watching the rain fall heavily. My emotions are in overdrive as last night's events play over and over in my mind.

The pain is too much. It hurts too much.

A sob breaks free as I remember my father getting into the car and then, he was just gone. How is he just gone? I was so angry at him. My last words to him were just leave please. And now I'll never see my father again.

When Miller held a gun to my head and promised he’d kill me, I knew at that moment my friend wasn’t who I thought he was. I double over, crying out, the pain becoming too much as I remember Bass’ shouts and King turning me around just in time to take the bullet meant for me. He saved me. He took the bullet instead of me. I hiccup, remembering the way he fell to the ground, the angle his body slumped down, his blood coating my hands as I tried to stop the bleeding. The sounds he made as he struggled to breathe.

Another sob bursts free, and I cover my face with my hands trying to forget the way King's skin grew cold and the way his breathing became labored. No matter what they said this was my fault. This would never have happened if I hadn't been there that night, if they’d never become my shadows.

If only they'd left me alone.

“Nova?”

Softly the door clicks open. I'm too weak to move or even care which one of them it is.

“Pup?” Cass murmurs softly, the bed dipping with his weight. His fingers brush against my head lovingly, his touch comforting if only for a moment. I wasn't even surprised he hadn't done as I asked and left me alone. Cass bends down, his lips touching my cheek before he lifts me in his arms. Placing me underneath his arm, he positions me on his chest while he holds me. Slowly, his fingers caress my shoulder. Every now and then he looks down at me, his gaze saying nothing, but at the same time saying a million different things.

“It’s not your fault, pup,” Cass finally says. My cheeks grow wet with more tears, each one feeling like a failure somehow that if only I’d done things differently.

Cass’ fingers brush against my cheek.

“I know what you’re doing, pup. I don't blame you.” His gaze finds mine. The silence between us is deafening as Cass watches me, a small frown appearing between his eyes.

I don't answer. What’s the point?

They all keep telling me it was King’s choice, that he made that choice to save me. But at what cost?

I’m numb, I don’t want to feel like this.

Needing the distraction, I move myself until I'm straddling Cass. He groans when I push down over his cock, feeling him harden under me. I do it again, this time Cass’ hands grip my thighs, holding me down.

“Pup.” His voice is a warning, one I'm choosing to ignore.

“Please,” I plead with him, needing something, anything to get my mind off last night.

I can try at least.

Cass sits up holding me with him, his fingers stroke across my cheek, and that's all it takes before I break again.

“I can’t.” My sobs are muffled as I bury my face into his neck. I can't take them being nice to me, looking at me like they'd do anything to protect me, like I’m so goddamn precious.

Running his fingers through my hair, he whispers over and over again, “I’m sorry, pup. I’m so fucking sorry.” The soothing tone in his voice only makes me cry harder. Fisting his shirt, I weep into his neck as he holds me, holding the back of my head as I cry for everything I’ve lost. Everything I feel.

The pain is too much to bear.

The burn of my tears is unbearable as the weight of the night rips through me.

“Breathe, Nova. Just breathe, baby,” he tells me, cupping my face in his hands and pressing his forehead against mine. He sits with me while I unload everything.

Slowly he rocks me, and oddly enough, the gesture feels comforting. Cass’ hands run up and down my back, and softly he whispers, “Ssh, pup. I’ve got you. I've always got you.”

I wake to the sounds of wind howling outside and the rain crashing against my window.

The pounding in my head hasn’t subsided from yesterday, and the tightness in my chest still feels heavy. The moment I close my eyes I see it all again.

The clearing of a throat forces me to lift my head, my tired eyes finding Cass under me, giving me a soft smile. He wraps an arm around me holding me to him.

His fingers dip under my chin holding it up before he asks, “Better?” Shaking my head, because no, no it’s not.

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