Page 8 of Sleighproof

And my brothers.

And even Harvey.

It’s interesting to see them all not just come into their own but beat the odds so to speak. From the data I could gather regarding male parental figures active involvement – particularly in the early childhood development stages – I made some respective comparisons of them and the national statistics, just to see how they measure up so to speak – after successfully finding reassurance I wasn’t failing miserably on the mom spectrum – and it was incredible. So incredible that I couldn’t stop myself from sharing the stats with their wives.

Who then shared somethingelsewith them.

Who then all sent me texts of thanks for my service.

The whole thing was just giggle worthy and had Kolby claiming I probably just broke the record for most apples in one game.

Definitely not.

But it was still a sweet thing to hear.

“I’m just glad we get to be here this year at all,” Blu proclaims at the same time I glance back over at my twins that are now squabbling. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I missed Baby Bee’s first Christmas Eve and Christmas.”

The statement has me slowly turning my stare back to him. “Why would you have missed it?”

“They moved up the next training assignment,” he informs as if I should already know. “Seventeen managed to get it pushed back a couple days, so we leave the dayafterChristmas instead of the day before, which doesn’t fucking feel like much, but it’ssomething.We still get to spend these two days with our families.”

Except my husbandisn’tspending it with all of his family.

Just his irresponsible brother.

His very irresponsible brother who better have gotten my girls custom made gifts that he has to handmake himself for how long the process is taking.

“You know since having his own littles, Seventeenreallyleans into that shh more than he used to. He may be a number, but underneath it all? He’s still a family man like the rest of us. Minus the whole wears a suit to a birthday party for three-year-olds. Did he really think double trouble wasn’t going to get frosting on it?”

I sidestep the sentimental recalling to inquire, “When did you find out your next assignment got moved?”

“Last night.”

“Really?!” I unhappily bite so hard that even Honey, the baby, frowns. “What happened to the written agreement regarding the amount of warning he had to give all of you before making those decisions?”

“That’sthe technicality he used to give us these extra couple of days some of the other numbers didn’t want him to.” Blu comfortingly rubs his daughter’s back. “In his defense –and never f-ing tell Wahl I used that phrase for Seventeen– he didn’t sound too thrilled to be shipping us off to Aomori.”

“Japan?!”

“They call that place ‘The Snow Monster’.” His glare deepens at the same time he cranes his neck forward, red words rigid and sharp. “The f-ingSnow Monster.” He tosses a frustrated hand into the air. “Would it kill him to let us train these a-holes somewherenicer? Like a place nicknamed after something pleasant?! Like cookies. Or chocolates. Or pizza.”

“So…food?”

“Anythingin the food category is much more welcomed than having to spend the next six weeks training operatives to survive Snowmageddon.”

Six weeks?!

My husband is going to be gone for six weeks, got a two-day notice, and of those two days I’ve barely seen him one?!

What did I do to deserve this lump of coal?

Thismountainof coal that won’t stop stacking?

Did I accidentally cut Santa off in traffic?

Assign a hit squad to go allViolent Nighton his vacation home?

God, I love that movie.

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