Page 70 of Unloved

For the first time ever, I see the slightest crack in my mother’s armor as she stomps the floor and huffs. “Don’t be like that, Rhys. I want you to have a relationship with her, but you know how your father is.”

“Yeah,” I say coldly. “I know how he is.”

“Just do as I say, okay?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “What are you talking about?”

“Stay sober for six months.”

“I’m trying, Mom,” I say truthfully. “I really am.”

She steps forward, and Lennox and Samuel take a few steps back to give us space. She takes hold of my face in her hands. “We had a contract. At six months you could see her, and whenever you were so close…”

Her words trail off, and my body sways enough for Samuel to steady me.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“You have a disease,” she says to me, placing her hands on my shoulders and squeezing. “And he used it to his advantage.”

“What?” My body shakes in shock as I find myself near the edge of the bed and I sit. “Mom, please tell me what to do.”

“We’ll start small,” she says. “Letters, FaceTime, texts. And when you’re both ready, you can visit us in Japan.”

She looks around at Samuel and Lennox. “You can even bring your friends, as long as you’re there.”

“But, Rhys…” I nod. “Six months. No less.”

Unlike with my father, this isn’t a threat. The words leaving her mouth are like a plea. A revelation. A lifeline I never saw coming.

“It’s good to see you all,” she says, her manners impeccable as always. “Rhys.” She straightens her spine. “I hope to see you in six months’ time.”

26

RHYS

Afew more hours after my mother’s surprise visit and I’m finally being discharged. I’ve been on autopilot for the whole afternoon, trying to process it all, and coming up empty.

Her revelation changed everything and nothing.

Maybe I’ve been looking for solace in the darkness, to fill the empty void that being an unloved son gave me, but I understand free will and know that that man didn’t put a gun to my head and force me to abuse drugs.

But the confirmation that he truly does feel absolutely nothing for me at all, stings more than it has any right to. Especially when the writing was on the wall—it wasn’t a surprise. In fact, he constantly went out of his way to belittle me and remind me that I’m absolutely nothing without him and his money.

Samuel and Lennox have been wearing kid gloves around me, more so after my mother bombarded us at the hospital, but now, as we’re on our way home, I don’t want any special consideration between us. I want to strip us all bare and lay our secrets down once and for all.

Especially mine.

It takes us about half an hour to get back to my place, and when they follow me through the door, it’s like we’re all strangers, and I hate it.

Standing in the middle of the apartment, I drop my small duffle bag to the floor, and Samuel’s head is the first to turn, then Lennox follows his lead.

The three of us are staring at each other, the air layered with thick and heavy emotion.

The walls of the hospital wrapped around us like a bubble, but here, at my place, where we made some of the best memories, the three of us are naked and vulnerable with absolutely nowhere to hide.

They have seen me at my lowest, and even I can’t stomach to look at myself in the mirror, let alone expect someone else to.

“I can see your thoughts ticking over,” Lennox says softly. Almost like he’s scared that just one wrong word will disrupt the quiet. “But you’re wrong. Nothing is different,” he says, picking up on every one of my insecurities. “You are the same.Weare the same.”

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