Page 9 of Unloved

I’m not turning him away after he’s come all this way.

All this way? Seattle is hardly “all this way.”

Lennox…

Clem…

Clem hasn’t let up since arriving at the hospital. Truth be told, she’s being an insufferable mother hen, and I constantly have to remind myself it comes from a good place. She’s worried about me, and I can’t blame her because I’m worried about me.

But her insistence on making this the reason Frankie comes back from Seattle isn’t something I want any part of.

I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to run the risk of needing my brother. I want to hold on to my anger toward him, because that is the only thing I want to feel. I’m teetering on the edge, my emotions alternating between anger and fear of the unknown.

I throw my cell on the bed, completely fed up with the back and forth of texting. “Can you please tell her to come in?”

Samuel raises an eyebrow at me, and I gesture to the door in frustration. “Clem. Please.”

Completely unfazed by my attitude, he nods and wordlessly rises up from his seat and walks out of the room.

Guilt surges through me as I think of how many times impatience and frustration have consumed me, and how many times I’ve taken it out on Samuel, even though he’s done nothing to deserve it.

Reaching for my phone, I quickly type a message out to Samuel, knowing he’ll see it at some point.

I’m sorry for snapping.

The door opens, and Clem walks in, Samuel and Remy both on their phones, trailing in behind her. My cell beeps, and I swipe at the screen, reading Samuel’s response.

You can make it up to me later. ;)

I feel my mouth stretch into a shy smile. Something about the way Samuel’s text comes across like he’s awkwardly flirting with me, changes my mood immediately.

I try to hold on to the warm feeling as I type back a quick text to him and then focus on Clem.

You can count on it.

My smile doesn’t go unnoticed, and when I glance up at Clem, she’s smirking at me, knowing full well who I’ve got hearts in my eyes for. My infatuation for Samuel isn’t a secret, not even from him, but his rejection is. I haven’t told a single soul about how we would never be, choosing to live in this fantasy land where his friendship will forever be enough. Because even if things between us are complex, and we’re still as close as ever, the reality that I opened myself up to another person—after I swore I never would again—and was turned away, makes my abandonment issues the very front and center of my life.

Pushing aside all those complicated thoughts and feelings, I reach for the tissue box and throw it at her, and just like that, the tension between us is broken.

Because that’s how we are. She pushes, and we all eventually surrender. I have no doubt that’s exactly how she managed to get Frankie here.

“He can come up and see me,” I tell her. “But don’t expect any miracles, okay? I have nothing to say to him.”

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look down to see a text from Samuel.

I won’t leave you alone with him unless you want me to.

I want to respond with a million heart emojis because that’s what his care for me makes me feel. Instead, I opt for a simple“thank you,”hoping those two words truly convey the gratitude I feel.

Clem’s response to my conditions pops up on my screen.

I’ll take it. Thank you.

We offer each other sad smiles, the only true expression to the way I know we both feel inside.

Nobody loves like Clem loves. Her loyalty has no bounds, and even though we often fight exactly like siblings do, she’s also the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother.

When she arrived at the hospital to meet us after I got hurt, the heartbreak was written all over her face. Her worry and sadness over me, made me feel guilty for being injured. I knew what happened was an accident, but Clem didn’t deserve to be sad or worried or anxious, especially over me.

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