Page 41 of Unloved

When he responds to me in text, I know he’s struggling to come to terms with this new revelation.

Lennox: Really?

Me: Yes. Really.

Me: I don’t know what any of it means, but I’m not going to lie to you and say I don’t feel it too.

When Lennox finally looks at me, his eyes are filled with trepidation. “I don’t want to scare him, and I don’t want to jeopardize what you and I have before it’s even started.”

Selfishly, I’m frustrated with the texting, and not because he can’t hear, but because I don’t want to break our connection. I want him to feel my sincerity and understanding, and for him to know that, in all this craziness, he isn’t alone.

Tugging on his hand, I stand us both up and slam my mouth to his, talking to him in a way that leaves no room for doubts or questions. The kiss is hard and commanding, and as far as I’m concerned, he and I are unbreakable.

Rhys might think we’re weird, or shy away, or not even feel the unexplainable things we feel for him, but tonight is a night full of risks I’m willing to take.

Lennox breaks the kiss, his eyes pleading with me as he presses his hand over my heart. “Please,” he says. “Talk to him.”

* * *

Careful not to scare Rhys, I leave a nervous Lennox in the bedroom and slowly walk into the living room. I’m surprised when I see the light still on and him sitting up and staring down at his phone.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” I say.

His head whips up, and the lost look in his eyes shifts my mood entirely. It wasn’t there before, and I want to know why it’s there now. In three strides, I reach the couch and take a seat beside him. “What’s wrong?”

“What are you doing up?” he asks, completely avoiding my question. “I thought you and Lennox would be tangled up in one another by now.”

I know he intends for it to sound like a light-hearted joke, but a hint of jealousy is all that lands.

“Are you okay?” I ask again.

He exhales loudly. “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

He lets himself fall back onto the couch, closing his eyes and tipping his head up to the ceiling. “I don’t want to be that guy.”

“What guy?”

“The guy who makes everything about him.” He looks back at me. “I know Lennox had a big day, and I wanted to be there for him.”

“You want to be there for Lennox?” I ask.

He nods, and I stand up and hold my hand out to him. “He doesn’t want you sleeping out here alone.”

His whole face scrunches up in confusion. “What?”

I amend my statement. “Wedon’t want you sleeping out here alone.”

“Am I in the Twilight Zone?” He glances at my outstretched hand. “Or are you asking me what I think you’re asking me?”

“I don’t know,” I say, pretending to be aloof. “What are we asking you?”

“Samuel.” He shakes his head at me. “I don’t know if I can…”

When words fail him, I pull my hand back, feeling an unexpected sting of rejection.

“It’s not that I don’t… Fuck.” He runs his hand over the back of his neck. “I have nothing to offer either of you.”

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