Page 27 of There I Find Happiness

“Most people don’t. And it’s something I don’t tell everyone. I just... Maybe she’s jealous of me. Everyone has struggles, but I had so much that she didn’t. I... I probably should have done a little better in my life than what I have, considering how great my start was.”

“You haven’t done poorly.”

“I guess not. But Norma Jean is a true success story. She really did come from nothing.”

“Sounds to me like your family helped her a good bit.”

“We did. But all the help in the world doesn’t mean anything if you don’t take advantage of it. I think Norma Jean got to the point where she felt like she had to take advantage of everything.”

“Including you.”

“You know, Lana and I were just talking about that not long ago. That there isn’t any place in the Bible where it says that you shouldn’t allow people to take advantage of you. In fact, Jesus almost commands us to allow people to take advantage of us. But yet, in our society today, even Christians say we shouldn’t allow it.”

“I guess you’re right. I know what verse you’re talking about, and I have to agree with you. Jesus does say bless those who persecute you. Bless and not curse. We are also commanded to be kind to everyone. Everyone. Not just people who are kind and considerate to us.”

“Yes. That’s the one. And there’s nothing in Scripture that tells us that there is a limit on that. In fact, when Jesus talks about forgiving people, he says seventy times seven. He’s just basically saying that it should be an awful lot of forgiveness.”

“Well, I think you qualify for sainthood in that area.”

“I don’t. Because sometimes I get irritated.”

“And rightfully so.”

“No. I don’t want to. I want to be willing to give whatever people need from me without resenting it. You know?”

“That’s too good to be true. And it’s probably not good for you.”

“If we’re talking about our emotional health in regards to what a psychiatrist might say, then you’re right. But if we’re talking about spiritual health and what God might say, then I have to respectfully disagree.”

He was quiet for a bit, then shook his head slowly, with his face tightening up as he did so as though the motion irritated his headache. “I can’t argue with that.”

“Thank you. Norma Jean is...difficult. You know that, but she’s also someone God loves. And God somehow chose me to be in her life. To be a person who loves her unconditionally. And yes, I know, when you give someone too much, you tend to spoil them. They don’t have to grow their character, but you do realize that when you’re giving, their character might not be growing, but your character is.”

“I never thought about it that way.”

“It’s true. I mean, I’m definitely not for spoiling children. A parent’s job is to teach them to have character, so a lot of times, you have to do things that they don’t like. But in friendship and relationships, why wouldn’t you be the one to give more? I know when you do it, it seems like the other person is quote, unquote, winning, but in reality, it’s you that’s actually becoming a better person because you’ve learned to give up your way, give up your ‘rights,’ and to be kind to someone even when it’s hard. That type of character is forged in the fire of hardship, whether it’s hardship in giving up your rights or hardship in some other kind of sacrifice.”

“That’s an interesting way to look at it.”

“I believe it’s a biblical way.”

“I don’t want it to be. I want you to want to be with me more than you want to be nice to Norma Jean.”

She laughed a little, because that made her feel good. That Peter really did want her. “Well, there also is that friendship rule where if your friend has her eye on someone, you can’t step in between them. That to me is a loyalty thing.”

“And I admire your loyalty. That’s one of the things I really like about you, but I want you to be loyal to me.”

“Well, I really can’t pursue that, not until Norma Jean decides that she doesn’t want you anymore. I mean, isn’t that the way it goes?”

“I don’t know. I suppose. If my brother had his eye on a girl, I definitely wouldn’t step in between them, even if I really liked her. But while I understand it, it feels like if I say no to her, all bets are off.”

“It should, but I’m pretty sure Norma Jean wouldn’t see it that way.”

They didn’t say anything for a while, and she thought that maybe he had fallen asleep. He seemed a little loopy from the pain meds; although this conversation was certainly lucid, he’d probably said things he normally wouldn’t. He almost certainly wouldn’t be admitting that he had feelings for her, wanted to spend more time with her, if he wasn’t under the influence of whatever drugs they had given him.

“I wish there was a way we could get Norma Jean to set her sights on someone else.”

“I wish there was too,” she agreed softly.

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