Page 32 of Booked for Christmas

“Nothing, I just…” I stop, trying to pull coherent thoughts together. “I just need some time to think is all.”

“Okay,” he says.He’s not even going to fight for me?“Whatever you need, darling. Like I said, I’ll wait forever.”

???

By the time Hadlee gets home, I’m rewatchingIt’s a Wonderful Life, curled up under three blankets, tissues scattered across the floor beside me. I hear the door click open and shut, and then the soft click-clack of her heels against the vinyl flooring.

“J?”

I don’t bother to look up, my eyes glued to the screen, where George Bailey screams into the void of the river. I sniffle, reaching for another tissue as the tears threaten to start up again.

“Oh, honey.” Hadlee blocks the screen from my view as she crouches down in front of me. Her green eyes search my face, her expression awash with concern. “What happened?”

“You were right. I’m an idiot,” I say, trying to keep the tears at bay, yet failing miserably. “I just feel sostupid, Lee.”

“I don’t want to be right about this,” she says softly, pushing my dark curls away from my face.

“I saw him kissing her!” I feel like someone stomped on my heart, my chest in actual pain. “We were supposed to meet for lunch, and he was l-late. I saw him across the street, and he ki-kissed her!”

“Oh, Jana, honey...” she trails off, dabbing my tears with a tissue. “How did you get home?”

“I walked.”

“That’s like a twenty-minute walk,” she says, raising her eyebrows.

“I couldn’t face him.”

“You should’ve come to the salon, honey,” she says, taking in the pile of blankets on top of me. “I could’ve at least given you a ride home, so you didn’t freeze your ass off.”

“I needed time. I just…couldn’t do it.”

“Okay, that’s understandable.”

“He called me,” I say. Taking the tissue she holds out to me, I wipe snot from my nose. “I told him I needed space and time to think, and he didn’t fight me. He just…he told me he would wait forever for me.”

“Did you tell him you saw him kissing her?”

I shake my head. “No. I couldn’t bring myself to.”

“So he has no idea why you broke it off?”

“No,” I sob, feeling dumb over this whole situation. It’s my own damn fault that I’m heartbroken again.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hadlee says. She smooths back my hair, the same way my mom used to when I was upset. “You did the right thing, breaking things off before you got more invested.”

“Then why do I feel like my heart’s been ripped from my chest?”

“Oh, honey.”

“I think I really love him, Hadlee,” I say dashing tears away as they try to blur my sight. “I saw a life with him and the girls, and now…now I feel so lost and broken.”

“I know,” she says, leaning her forehead against mine. “It’ll get easier with time.”

“It’s never hurt this bad.” I cry, hiccupping on every other breath as she hugs me tightly. “I don’t know how I’m going to heal from this one, Hadlee.”

Chapter Eighteen

Alex

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