Page 24 of Silent Vendetta (Vendetta Duet)

There it was. The truth. For the longest time, each day had been hell on earth, and one of the reasons I fought so hard against my feelings for Luna was because I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t deserve to feel happy, not then, not now.

I scrubbed my jaw, emotions swirling, threatening to consume me. Each word was a dagger, carving out the raw, brutal truth I’d buried deep.

“You don’t know how many days I wished the guy would’ve just killed me, too.”

CHAPTER13

Hunter

“How did you transform from a witness of your father’s death to a killer?” Luna’s voice dropped to a hushed tone, each word draped in shadow and intrigue.

They say hell was worse than any suffering a human could imagine. As a kid, I thought hell was in the afterlife, but that was wrong. Hell existed in the tortured soul of a nine-year-old, who kept replaying the moment his dad died and all the ways he failed to save him.

“I’ll make you a deal,” I said. “I’ll talk if you eat.”

Luna pressed her lips together. She probably wanted to escape rather than hear me out, but I wanted something else. As selfish as it was, I wanted Luna to still love me despite the monster inside.

But doing that meant baring my soul in a way I had never done with anyone else.

I gently peeled the frigid ice pack from her face and set it on the ground. Then I raised an orange segment, its vibrant color contrasting with her battered lips—how I wished I’d reached her sooner. What if the citrus might sting her wound? What was I thinking, bringing salty pretzels down?

Luna parted her lips and allowed me to place the piece of food inside her mouth—a fresh burst of citrus drifting when she bit down, her eyes rolling back slightly at the taste. My finger lingered on her soft lip, and when she looked at me, my heart ached.

This might be the last time I ever get to touch her.

“As a child,” I started, “I couldn’t cope with my dad’s murder. I felt gutted, keeping this dark secret from everyone that I had let it happen. My mom was so destroyed by my dad’s death, and I was scared she’d stop loving me if she found out what I’d done. Especially because my dad’s death left my brothers gutted, too.”

When she opened her mouth, I placed another bite of food on her tongue, relieved by the sound of a juicy squelch, followed by the subtle grinding of pulp between her teeth.

I wished I could kiss her one last time. I wish I knew the last time she allowed me to hold her fragile body in my arms was the last, so I could have savored it. Just like I had wished I’d known that last morning with my father would be my final one.

“I bore the guilt of my father’s death, and seeing the pain in others’ eyes, knowing I was its cause…it broke me. I didn’t feel worthy of anyone’s love anymore, and keeping that secret burned my soul. Imprisoned me in isolation.”

Luna’s beautiful eyes were locked on mine, and I let myself imagine for a moment that she didn’t hate me. My soul was on fire, and her empathetic look was a bucket of water over the flames.

God, how would I go on without her?

Before I met her, I had the blessing of ignorance, not knowing what I was missing out on, but once I got a taste of Luna, her love, her body, her everything, I wanted to possess her soul and chain it to mine.

If living in the aftermath of my dad’s murder was hell on earth, Luna was heaven. Right now, my soul was walking the ledge between the two, precariously dangling over each side.

And I knew that if Luna took away my heaven, I would surrender to the grips of hell and never come back.

“I tried burying myself in schoolwork,” I continued, my heart clenching. “That didn’t help.”

As I brought the next piece of orange up, Luna opened her mouth like a little bird, helpless and at the mercy of the bigger animal for survival. I placed it in her mouth and watched her lips close around it, the flicker of relief in her eyes confirming she was hungrier than she had led on.

“I tried sports,” I said. “But every night, I’d lie in my bed and stare at my door, knowing my dad would never walk through it again to tuck me in. I pictured him beside me, but then the picture would turn into the killer attacking him from behind.”

My gaze dropped to the cracked gray concrete beneath me for a moment.

“I started having this nightmare where my dad came into my bedroom to say good night, but his throat was slashed open and bleeding, and the blood would fall onto my face ashe’d say,Why didn’t you save me?”

Luna stopped chewing.

“Sometimes I have nightmares that I’m in his office again, and my dad looks at me, knowing that I can see the killer. He shakes his head like he’s disgusted by me.” My chest burned.

“Do you still have nightmares?” Luna’s sweet voice rang through the damp air like a melody.

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