I needed to get away from her. Even though the thought of not seeing her would cause me pain, I had to get away from her. The thought of touching her, even in combat, was too much. I’d tumble further and further into this abyss, into this chasm of longing.
And the last thing I wanted was to long for a Fae.
“Problems, Rook?” Theron’s voice sounded behind me, languid footsteps approaching me.
I leaned on the railing and exhaled heavily. “Just… trying to gather my thoughts, Sire.”
“Mmm.” Theron came to stop beside me, his gaze sweeping out over the gardens below. “You seem rather undone since the Princess arrived, my friend. Is it bad memories?” He gave me a sideways glance. “Or something else you’d rather not give a voice to?”
“I don’t want to train with her anymore.” I said it quickly, biting out the words before my ridiculous heart could pull them back down my throat and bury them.
Theron laughed, lifting an eyebrow as he turned to face me. “You know, she told me the exact same thing.”
“She did?”
Theron nodded. “It seems neither one of you feels the other is a suitable training partner.”
“She’s weak.”
“No, she’s not.” Theron’s response came like the snap of a whip.
“I’m going to hurt her.” I was scrambling for an excuse now.
“You haven’t so far.”
Fucking Nav, why was he doing this. “Sire, I cannot -“
“She lost her Mate.” Theron’s gaze remained neutral as I met it. With a subtle lift of his eyebrows, he took another sip of wine and sighed lightly. “He was dead in her arms when the Riders found her.”
My throat constricted, and the whirlwind of emotions in my belly combined with drinking too much of that fucking wine had me sucking in a sharp breath. “I had no idea.”
“It would seem she fought her way across the battlefield to die alongside him.” Theron sounded almost admiring. “She took down one Seraph after another without hesitation, and then she held him in her arms, welcoming death.”
“That’s how she got those scars?”Fierce little Fae. I had to suppress a smile. Oh Gods, I was fuckingproudof her now.
Theron swirled the goblet in his hand, looking back out over the gardens. “Yes, she lost the ear to one of my own soldiers. But he lost his life to her blade.”
“I see.” I didn’t know what else to say. I was overcome with a feeling of shame and guilt.I’m just like you. And she was, in a way she didn’t even know or understand. And I’d mocked her, chided her, told her we were nothing alike.
“Are you still dreaming of her?” Theron asked, gazing absently into his goblet.
I tried not to let my surprise show. “How did you know about that?”
“The guards informed me of your… disagreement with the Princess. It seems you are both dreaming of the other and convinced some wicked magic is at play.” He grinned at me, his green eyes dancing, clearly enjoying this game of his. “You are sure she is a witch sent to ensorcel you, and she is certain you are nothing but a vicious Night Demon straight from the nightmarish tales of her girlhood.”
I clenched my teeth. “They are just dreams.”
“Indeed.” Theron looked up at the darkening sky. “Perhaps now you know that she has more in common with you than you could have ever supposed. You will find it within yourself to be a little kinder to the Princess. Nav knows she is going to need all the help she can get.”
Anger prickled at the back of my neck, souring my tongue. “What do you have planned for her?”
Theron clapped me on the shoulder, giving me an amicable smile. “Oh, just a little fun. Sometimes, females need motivation to realize which path they should choose.”
The wicked glint in his eyes made my skin crawl. With a swish of his wings he swept back into the council chamber, leaving me alone on the balcony.
I waited only a few more minutes before I made my excuses and sought a quieter place to clear my head and think about how I was going to dig myself out of the situation I’d been forced into.
I shouldn’t feel anything for her. Icouldn’t.