Page 50 of A Game of Secrets

"Goodnight sweetheart," I whisper gently, planting a kiss on Teddy's forehead as I tuck him into bed. He smiles sleepily and rolls onto his side, tucking little B under his chin and falls quickly into dreamland murmuring, "I love you Mommy," as he drifts off.

I tiptoe my way back out of the room leaving the door slightly ajar letting the light from the hallway seep through the crack in case he wakes up through the night and quietly head to my bedroom to change into my comfies. I scrape the hair back from my face and retie it into a loose ponytail on the top of my head before rinsing my face off with a warm flannel and cleanser to remove all of my make-up. What a day, I sigh at my reflection. Work has been such a drag these last couple of days, and the full intensity of both Silas and Cole taking us out for dinner for the last two nights has been somewhat overwhelming. Both mentally and physically. It's an unbelievably hard task to try not to be so sexually attracted to men who are so damn hot! What makes it worse is the fact that Teddy absolutely adores them both, all of them really, Alesso too. I hope this works out, whatever it is, between these men. I don't think I could handle my own heartache let alone Teddy’s. Ugh men, three huge, sexy, infuriating men. I wonder if they realize what they’re actually doing. Toying with a young boy's feelings. If this doesn’t work out with a relatively happy and civil ending. I swear, I don’t care how big they are, I’ll kill them all.

As I walk back through the hallway, I head straight for the kitchen pouring myself a large glass of red wine and pull out a bag of share size potato chips. Share size, I don't think so. I flop myself down onto the sofa and bring my knees up to my chest as I pull the blanket resting across the back over my legs, and flick on the TV. I scour the channels trying to find something to watch until defeatedly I open Netflix and settle for the horror film, IT. I snuggle deeper into the sofa cushions and take a large gulp of my wine. I hate clowns but I love horrors so there's no way I'm not watching it and there's definitely no way I'm getting through it without alcohol.

I can already feel the adrenaline spiking through my system as the film gets creepier until I'm well and truly on edge and the loud PING from my mobile almost has me spilling my wine into my bag of potato chips. "Fuck," I laugh at myself for getting so jumpy. I reach forward and grab my phone from the coffee table.

Buona sera luce mia, I enjoyed our time together yesterday but it’s not enough. I can’t get you out of my mind. Have dinner with me tomorrow evening?

My stomach flips as I reread the message several times, it’s Silas I know it is, he always calls me his light but how did he get my number? I bet Cole gave it to him, the ass that he is. I’ll have to have a word with him about giving my number out to people. I take a long sip of my wine and without thinking, i’m already typing out a reply.

Like a date?

I throw my phone down beside me on the sofa and try to concentrate on the film but Silas’s words are swimming through my head. It’s not enough, I can’t get you out of my mind. I bite at my nails anxiously waiting for my phone to ping again. Why does this make me so nervous? I’m like a high schooler when her crush is texting her. Should I even be entertaining the idea of going to dinner with him? God I don’t know, I’ve already fucked the man so I suppose we’re already a little past dinner dates. One date wouldn’t hurt would it? PING. My stomach flips again as I pull up Silas’ reply.

Yes Lucille, a date. Meet me at Mezzanotte at 8pm. I’ll take you to dinner and drive you home after. I know this may all seem sudden but give me a chance and I promise you, you won’t regret it.

I swallow roughly, my tongue licking out over my lips to stop them from drying out as I try to come up with some sort of excuse as to why I shouldn’t do this. But I can’t. Some insane part of me deep down wants to jump at this chance to dance with danger and go for dinner with a blood thirsty Mafia boss. Call me crazy but the thought of it sets my soul on fire. The memory of his thick muscular arms pinning me against the lockers as he fucked me into oblivion races through my mind straight to my already throbbing core. There’s no way I’m getting out of this I admit and unashamedly I accept his invitation then down the rest of my wine and shove a fistful of crisps into my mouth.

One chance, big guy. See you at 8.

Throwing my phone back on the coffee table I distract myself and watch the end of the film then make my way to bed, eventually falling into a fitful sleep of vivid dreams full of strong men and deep piercing eyes.

When I wake up the next morning with the sunlight streaming through the curtains, I sigh heavily. The bottle of wine I finished off last night resting heavily on my head this morning and leaving a dull ache behind my eyes. I glance at the clock that reads 06:40. I haven’t got long till Teddy wakes up and starts scouring the cupboards for food. The child is like a human garbage disposal, he never stops eating. I reluctantly peel myself out of bed and head straight for the shower in my en-suite, letting the cold water wash away my hangover. After drying myself off and pulling on a pair of navy jeans, black T-shirt and cardigan, I slip on my shoes and head to Teddy’s room. Unsurprisingly, he’s already out of bed and stood in front of his wardrobe picking out his clothes for the day. “Morning sweetheart,” I call from the doorway.

“Morning Mom,” he replies, tugging his joggers up over his legs.

“PB and J or Pop Tarts this morning?” Fridays are our treat day so he always gets an exciting breakfast and dinner when we’re at home, or me and Kat have the kids for sleepovers for alternate weekends.

I watch his little eyes light up as he throws his arms up over his head and shouts, “POP TARTS!” at his reflection in the mirror. I laugh at his excitement and head off to the kitchen to make us some breakfast. Teddy saunters into the kitchen when he’s ready and pulls himself up into the barstool and patiently waits for his breakfast of Pop Tarts and a side of fruit. My own breakfast consists of strong caffeine and a banana. I’ll make sure to grab something for lunch at work. I’m not sure I can stomach anything else at the moment.

After greedily munching down his breakfast and watching a few cartoons before we leave, I help Teddy to pack his bag ready for his day at kindergarten and strap him safely into the car.

“Are you looking forward to tonight little man? You’ve spent a lot of time at Kats recently haven’t you? I promise next week Bella can stay at ours for the weekend. How does that sound?” I ask, watching for his reaction through my rear view mirror as I pull out onto the main road from our gated apartment complex.

Teddy smiles widely at me, his mouth forming the shape of a perfect circle. “Yes please, Mommy, that would be so cool. We could go in the pool and to the park and build a fort in the living room and stay up and eat chocolate all night!” He squeals excitedly, reeling off another hundred things that we could do over the weekend.

“Okay I’ll have a word with Auntie Kat and see what she thinks. Remember she will pick you up from kindergarten today, okay? I will come and get you in the morning.” Teddy beams at me again, no sign of sadness that he is spending the night away from me again though I still feel the guilt heavy in my chest at leaving him so much recently. Should I really be going on this date tonight? I shake my head, he’s happy and he loves spending time with Kat and Isabella so stop over thinking I scold myself. He’s fine, it’s okay.

A little further down the road I pull up in the drop off zone outside of Teddy’s kindergarten and help him out of the car making sure he’s got his bag ready and his lunchbox tucked under his arm. I crouch down and plant a kiss on his cheek. “See you in the morning sweetheart, have a good day. I will call you later, okay?”

Teddy wraps his arms around my neck and smiles. “See you tomorrow Mommy, love you,” he calls as she skips off towards his teacher that’s waiting at the door.

“Katrina Henderson will be picking Teddy up today.” I call to his teacher. She nods and writes it down on her clipboard. The security at this place makes me feel so much more at ease knowing that the only people who would ever be able to collect Teddy other than myself are Max and Kat. Now I just have to get my head into work mode when all I really want to do is curl back up in bed. No rest for the wicked.

It’s 13:45 and I’m only just sitting down to have my lunch after a hectic morning in the clinic. One of my patients decided to have a meltdown in the waiting area and ripped out their stitches which subsequently ended up in a massive blood spill and them fainting so my work list ran late.

I sigh heavily as Kat enters the coffee room and takes the seat opposite me. “You okay sugar? I heard what happened with Mr Crane.”

I laugh and shake my head. “Oh yeah, all in a day’s work isn’t it.” I joke, rolling my eyes as I do. Kat laughs with me as I take a bite out of the sandwich I picked up from the hospital canteen and wash it down with a mouthful of Dr Pepper. “So I’m going on a date tonight.” I blurt out before taking another bite of my lunch.

“OH MY GOD, where, what time and with who?” She squeals in delight, her face lit up with genuine excitement for me.

I swallow nervously before meeting my eyes with hers. “Umm Silas. I’m meeting him at his club then he’s taking me for dinner.” I say quietly so that Chris and Lisa sitting on the other side of the coffee room don’t overhear. I watch as Kat’s eyes widen in response and brace myself for a grilling, but it doesn’t come. Instead she leans forward and brings both of her hands to mine and holds them tightly.

“This is it, isn’t it?” she remarks

“What do you mean?” I question, genuinely confused.

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