Page 65 of A Game of Secrets

"Are you ready for the waves baby?" I ask, noticing the large wave countdown is almost at one minute to go on the wall above the side seating area.

"Yes!" Teddy exclaims loudly and starts paddling a little further into the water but making sure to stay within my reach. "Waves, waves, waves," he squeals, watching the timer slowly tick away the last ten seconds.

"Here they come," I call to him, as eagerly excited as he is.

Five, four, three, two, one. The timer screen flashes blue and the intercom announces that the waves are now commencing, giving other swimmers a warning. At the furthest end of the pool the water begins to swell and within seconds a large wave covers the width of the pool and pushes towards us. We're not far enough in the water that they become overwhelming and so they carry us up when they build and push us down when they fall. Teddy wails in excitement and thrashes his arms into the water.

"WAVES, WAVES, WAVES," he sings loudly as another swell moves us. I can not help but laugh and join in when the next one hits.

"WAVES, WAVES, WAVES," we sing together as we float up and down in the water.

"I love this Mommy," he calls to me, paddling his way into my arms and wrapping his hands around my neck.

I smile instantly, "And I love you," I whisper, giving him a tight squeeze.

We stay this way while the rest of the waves continue and slowly begin to lessen.

"Shall we go and grab a drink?" I ask. "I think I saw the milkshake man as we came in."

Teddy’s eyes light up at the mention of milkshakes and his mouth forms a simple O, "Ooooh, yes please!" he squeals, letting go of his hold around me and already making his way towards the edge of the pool. I thought that might be the answer. We order two large chocolate milkshakes topped with cream, chocolate chunks and smothered in chocolate sauce and Teddy is all but drooling as we walk back to our chairs and sit down to drink them. "This is amazing," he groans, wiping the excess cream from his face.

"Definitely a good choice, well done," I praise, taking a large finger of whipped cream from the top of my own and sucking it into my mouth. I'm definitely going to have to suggest to one of the guys that they let me lick cream off of them, or even better, that they lick it from me.

"Can I go back in the water now please?" Teddy asks, interrupting my fantasy and I look to see he's already polished off his entire milkshake.

"Well you sure weren't wasting any of that were you, you greedy monkey," I laugh. "Of course you can. I'm going to stay here and finish my drink for a little while though so make sure you stay where I can see you please." I add, making sure his armbands still have enough air in them.

"Okay, I will," he says, jumping up and heading straight for the water fountains at the shallow end of the pool. I rest myself back in my chair and sip slowly on my milkshake, scanning everybody around us. I notice a few familiar faces, mainly other parents with their kids from Teddy's kindergarten and a few of the other moms hold up their hands to say hello. I smile back politely but make no effort to go over and make a conversation, I'm really not in the mood for that today. Through all the laughs and smiles for my son, I can't get Cole's words out of my head and even now I'm aroused at the thought of what he called his playroom. I shudder at the thought of being trussed up against a wall with shackles around my ankles and wrists and have to clench my thighs together to subdue the ache. Jesus, surely this isn't normal. No wonder he warned me, but the mere thought is driving me insane, I need to tell him I want it, I want him. All of him and his fucked up kinky shit. I don’t need any longer to think about it. I pull my phone out of my bag and fire out a quick text and send it.

I want you.

Hopefully that lets him know he hasn't scared me away. I think it's even made me want him more. My sweet troubled soul, I'll gladly be there to let him release his demons on me. A warmth spreads between my legs and I have to quickly slurp down the remains of my milkshake to try and distract myself. "Mommy come on the big slide with me," Teddy waves me over from the water. Oh what the hell, what would cool me off more than plunging into a swimming pool. I jump up and splash my way through the water towards him.

"Let's go kiddo, we're doing the monster slide today. The biggest one!" I announce as I lift him up into my arms and wade us both through the pool to the set of three large slides at the far end, heading for the biggest one. As we get to the top I give Teddy's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm going to be right there with you," I say. He's never been brave enough to go down this slide before but today I have every bit of confidence that he will. He looks up at me, his face beaming and his eyes full of excitement and determination. I pull him onto my lap as our turn comes up next and wrap my arms around his waist waiting for the green light at the top of the tube.

"I'm so ready for this Mom!" Teddy squirms in my lap.

The lights switch green and with a push we descend into the enclosed tunnel, twisting and turning on our way down. I'm not sure who screams louder as we plummet to the end of the tunnel but we both come up for air and end up in fits of giggles.

"That was AMAZING, can we go again?" Is the first thing Teddy says when he finally takes a breath. That's my boy!

I smile, "Okay, I'll race you to the top," I blurt as I rush over to the slide entrances again.

"Hey, no fair!" he calls from behind me trying to beat me to the ladders.

Well and truly exhausted after being dragged on multiple slides multiple times, I finally managed to persuade Teddy to leave the swimming pool with a promise to get burgers on the way home for an early dinner followed by a movie night on the couch with his choice on what to watch. I end up carrying him to bed halfway through his favorite Ice Age movie and in turn curl up into my own bed with a cup of chamomile tea and flick on the TV above my dresser.

I mindlessly flick through my Netflix suggestions until I find a good crime series to watch and getting myself comfy I press start. It’s been a long but good day today and this right now, just snuggling in my own bed with a cup of tea is exactly what I need at the end of it. There's still a black SUV watching the house and just the knowledge that it is there makes me feel so much more settled than last night, knowing that if I need somebody, they're right outside. I haven't had a reply from Cole to my earlier revelation, but that's fine. I can accept that because I know what he wants to say, it will be with more than just words. I sigh wantonly but shake it off. All in good time and all that jazz. I finish my tea and fall asleep peacefully watching the horrors of other people’s lives on TV, and feeling like my own might just be okay. For now.

Bright and early the next morning, I jump straight into the shower to wash the overwhelming chlorine smell from my hair. Once I'm clean and dry I pull on a pair of jeans, plain t-shirt and oversized hoodie.Comfy clothes all the way today,I mutter to myself as I scrape my wet hair up into a bun and apply a subtle covering of makeup. My need for coffee isn't as dire this morning as I had the deepest night sleep in a long while but still, like it's tuned into my body. I automatically turn on the coffee machine and make myself a steaming mug of black coffee as I lay out a cereal selection for Teddy when he wakes up. Right on queue a loud "ROAR!" startles me and the box of Cheerios scatters across the floor.

"Oh my God, Teddy!" I gasp, clutching onto the kitchen countertop.

"Did I scare you?" he asks playfully, jumping up and down on the spot.

"You really did. You crept like a little ninja," I say joking along with him.

"YES!" He squeals, clapping his hands in delight.

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