Page 64 of A Game of Secrets

As soon as Enzo parks up around the corner, I nod to him and leave. I’ll arrange for one of Silas' men to take the day shift watching her tomorrow. My little mouse will come to no harm unless it's from me, which I expect she’ll enjoy every minute of it. I now need to hunt that cunt of a husband of hers.

Chapter 33

Lucille

Cole leaves without another word and I feel like I’ve just been blindsided. I knew when I woke up this morning that something seemed off but to end the day like this is not what I had in mind.

I make my way to the kitchen, automatically stopping to lock the front door as I pass it, then pull out a bottle of wine, forfeiting the glass as I take a large gulp straight from the bottle. I have to suppress the thoughts of Cole as a child being beaten and abused plaguing my mind and the horrific thoughts of what could have happened today if Vinny had managed to get his hands on Teddy. I feel the weight of today heavy on my chest but my soul feels freer than it has in years now that Cole understands my past. My throat feels like it’s constricting as I gasp for breath. The tears come hot and heavy from my eyes and I collapse to the floor, dragging my back down the kitchen cabinet, bringing the bottle of wine to rest beside me. Everything comes rushing to the surface and I no longer hold it all in, I kept myself strong for Teddy when I ran to him at kindergarten, and when I knew he was safe with Cole and myself. I kept myself together when I retold my story of Vinny and I nearly kept myself together when Cole laid his past bare to me, but now with nobody to see me, I fall apart. I sob for what feels like hours, until I have no tears left to cry and I have finished my bottle of wine. My eyes burn raw but the flash of headlights across the windows shock me into a hyper-state of panic, imagining it to be Vinny. I scramble to my knees and while crouching I try to peer through the window by the front door. A few moments later and I haven’t been able to see anybody outside but my nerves are still shot and a wave of goosebumps covers my body. Suddenly the loud ping of my mobile makes me shriek as it sounds and I realize I’ve been holding my breath the entire time. “Jesus Christ!” I curse out loud to myself, fumbling for my phone in my pocket. Releasing a sigh of relief as I see Cole’s name ping up on my screen.

I’ve got surveillance on your house through the night, don’t worry little mouse, I won’t let anything happen to you while I’m not there. I’ll see you soon. If you need me just ring me.

I swallow the knot that’s formed in my throat and although I am thankful for the fact that he has somebody watching over me and Teddy, I would have rather it been himself or Silas or Linc that was here with me right now. I walk over to the window and peer out at the black SUV parked at the bottom of the drive. I can’t see from my standing point who the driver is but I know they’ll do whatever their boss asks of them, it’s the way of the club. I pull the curtain back over the window and steadily make my way to the bedroom, my head is already beginning to thump and I’m regretting finishing that bottle of wine. I pull on a fresh pair of pajamas but instead of getting into my own bed, I make my way into Teddy’s room and squeeze myself right next to him in his bed and rest my hand gently over his. I need to be extra close to him tonight. I soon let a deep and dreamless sleep consume me.

The following morning I wake early with a hard to swallow lump in my throat and when I open my eyes, the room spins on its axis. That’ll teach me to finish an entire bottle of wine by myself. I peer over to my left to find Teddy still fast asleep, the light fluttering of his eyelashes against his cheeks letting me know he’s deep in dreamland. I smile as I watch his face twitch under his subconscious dream state then as slowly as I can manage without waking him, I trudge my way to the bathroom and get straight into a cold shower, hoping it will shock the hangover out of my system.

Feeling a little better and dressing into some comfy joggers and a sweater set, I walk to the front of the apartment and peer out the window in the same spot as last night. The sun is casting a beautiful orange hue across the sky and easily allows me to assess the driver of the surveillance car that Cole sent to watch the house last night. I recognise him, I’ve seen his face at the fight night and around at Silas’ club but I can’t remember his name. I hope he hasn’t been too bored or cold out there all night just sitting in his car. Maybe I should take him some coffee. That’s it, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I make two cups of coffee, strong and black, one for myself and one for my watcher then slip my feet into some slippers and head out with a coffee in each hand. I walk gingerly down the driveway towards the car and instantly the man’s head snaps in my direction. I hold out the coffee letting him know my intentions and his face visibly relaxes as he rolls down the window to his car.

“Thought you could do with something to warm your bones,” I say, offering over one of the steaming mugs.

“Thank you Miss Holland,” he says politely, dipping his head.

“Oh please, call me Lucille,” I insist, wrapping my free hand around my own and shivering slightly as the early morning wind wraps around me. "Thank you for spending your evening looking out for me and my son. Cole text me last night to let me know he had sent somebody. I know you must have had better things to do on your Friday night, I'm sorry to have interfered with that." I say, trying to detect any hint of irritation at the job he has been given but there is none, he only smiles and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Not at all, the pleasure is all mine, Lucille." he nods politely and I smile in return.

"How long have you worked for Cole?" I probe, circling a finger around the rim of my coffee mug.

"For too long," he laughs to himself. "The crazy bastard is more like family now than anything but I still appreciate him as my boss. I owe him my life in more ways than one. And you should know that whoever it is you're scared of, Cole will personally see to it that he never bothers you or your son again." The seriousness in his voice lets me know that he is telling the truth but also sends a shudder straight down my spine. I awkwardly suck at my teeth not knowing how to respond. I wonder how many of my secrets Cole has spilled to the rest of his men. I wonder if the man in front of me now knows that I ran away from my abusive husband and have hidden his child from him for the last 5 years. My eyes glaze over at the thought of a scared little boy, beaten and abused and I imagine that boy being my own. What would I do if somebody took my whole reason for living away from me and locked him in a cellar. A loud cough brings me back to focus.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks, scanning my face.

"Yes, sorry I'm fine," I stumble. "I better get back inside, Teddy will probably be waking up soon." I say quickly turning towards the front door.

"It's Enzo," the man calls out after me.

I turn to face him and nod. "Thanks again Enzo, I'm glad you're watching out for us."

"And thank you again for the coffee, Lucille," he says with a kind smile.

I head back inside and lock the door behind me as I fight back the tears that are burning beneath my eyes. This is so fucked up. Twenty minutes of breathing myself through another panic attack and I've somehow managed to whip up some chocolate chip pancakes for Teddy and placed fresh fruit in the shape of a smiley face ready just in time for him to make his way into the kitchen.

"Hey sleepy head, I've made you some smiley fruit and pancakes," I say, leaning over to kiss his bedridden hair.

"Are you OK, Mommy?" he asks, placing his tiny little hand onto my cheek. I feel my breath hitch in my throat but I swallow it down.

"Of course baby boy, why wouldn't I be?"

"You look sad," he says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world and those three tiny words feel like a vice right around my heart.

I sigh deeply and shake my head, "No baby, I'm fine." I say. "Now eat up your breakfast because Mommy's taking you swimming today so you need lots of energy to ride those big waves," I smile. Teddy's face instantly lights up and he practically catapults himself onto a stool at the breakfast bar where he gobbles down his fruit and pancakes in record time.

After breakfast and a round of reading from the book Teddy bought home from kindergarten, we're ready to go. Teddy enters my bedroom, just as I pull on some sneakers, with his neon blue trunks and Action-Man snorkel set perched on top of his head. "Ready Mom," he sings, pretending to swim through the room.

"Come on then Mr, let’s go catch some waves."

As we leave the house I notice that the coffee mug I gave to Enzo is waiting empty on the doormat. I internally thank him for not driving off with it and quickly place it on the table inside before Teddy spots it and asks why it was outside. I also notice that Enzo himself has gone and has been replaced with the guy I met outside of Silas' club.

I drive us to the best indoor pool around, fitted with a huge wave machine that fills the entire pool with waves like the sea, large slides that wind all around the room and a smaller section of childrens slides and fountains for the younger kids to play in. Teddy loves it here but we haven't been able to spend the day here for ages. We manage to grab a couple of lounge chairs right next to the children’s area and place down our towels and bags then head straight into the pool. The water is warm and inviting and not overly busy for a Saturday afternoon.

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