Page 21 of A Game of Secrets

"Uh, Linc," I answer.

"Well, thank you Linc, for getting Teddy's plane out of the tree for him. He loves that thing so you've saved me a lot of tears this evening," she smiles at me. I wince and smile politely through gritted teeth, trying to hide the internal war that’s beginning to rage inside of me, the good, the bad and the ugly all fighting for dominance. She's being so friendly, she really has no idea who I am, or what I’m capable of. I wonder if she knows exactly who her pretty little boyfriend is too and the monstrous things he does to keep food on the table.

“My pleasure,” I respond monotonously.

“It’s so easy to make new friends at their age isn’t it?” she notes as she happily watches over our boys throwing the toy airplane back and forth to each other. I follow her gaze and watch closely at their interactions, both so carefree and innocent, an unfamiliar tug pulling deep within me.

“Yes, it’s much harder to trust people as you get older and you begin to realize their true intentions." I quip, side-eying her to see if I could provoke a reaction, but her face stays placid, not realizing that dig was aimed at her.

“How old?” she asks. “How old is your boy?”

“He’s seven,” I answer, keeping it short and sweet, trying my best to sound uninterested in her conversation, “and your son? Teddy, was it?” I repeat the question back pretending I’m not already fully aware of his age, surname, which kindergarten he attends and the names of every one of his teachers.

“Five going on fifteen,” she says, a small smile playing at the edge of her lips. The answer is so relatable, it catches me off guard, I can not help but stifle a laugh. “Tell me about it,” I nod towards the boys. “Alessandro gives me a good run for my money these days, I’m surprised I’ve got him out in the open away from his computer for five minutes.” Her gentle laugh threatens to pierce through my stone cold heart and I have to remind myself she is conspiring with the Irish bastards, sleeping with the enemy. She turns to face me, her eyes the most striking shade of emerald I've ever seen. Fuck, she really is breathtaking. "You want to sit?" I ask, the voice inside me questioning my motive. I shake it off as she nods and we head over to the nearest bench together.

"It's beautiful here isn't it?" Lucille says, placing her hands into her lap and gazing out thoughtfully into the distance.

I watch her closely wondering what is going through her pretty little head. "It sure is." I whisper, not taking my eyes off of her.

"Do you live around here?" she questions, turning her head towards mine. "I don't think I've seen you around here before," her brow creasing slightly in the middle.

Ah shit, "Uh no, I'm uptown. I don't usually come to this park to be honest. I just thought it would be nice to have a change of scenery and Alessandro wanted to check out the baseball pitch so it seemed like a winner." I say nonchalantly. Shit shit shit. She studies me briefly, her eyes darting back and forth between mine, a look of something I cannot quite read flickers through them.

"Well let's hope I don't need you to rescue a plane from a tree again for me if you aren’t planning to come back any time soon."

I raise my eyebrows at her in amusement. "Oh I'm sure something could tempt me back here." I glance around, "Maybe the trees?" I deadpan, noticing her biting her bottom lip trying to stop herself from giggling.

"Oh yes, the trees are lovely here," she agrees, nodding her head in exaggeration.

WHY AM I DOING THIS? I chastise myself. "I never got your name," I enquire, wondering if she will give me, a complete stranger, her real name or is she smarter than I'm giving her credit.

"Lucille," she says with the most angelic look across her face, obviously not as smart as I thought. If she is with Max Costello he obviously has no concerns for her safety, or his sons for that matter. Not enough to advise them not to use their real names anyway. I shake my head at the thought. If she were mine there would be no question as to her safety. Jesus Linc, snap out of it I think, trying to quiet the inner voice screaming inside my head to take her, make her safe, make her mine.

Laughter floats across the open park and we both turn to watch Teddy and Alessandro pretending to be what looks like pirates as they use the climbing frame as their ship. I never thought about having children until the day I found out I was going to be a father, it was never in my plan. I was always too focused on getting my hands dirty for the business and God knows, this isn't the life you want for a child, especially your own. My life changed that day, for the better no doubt. But watching him now playing with Lucille’s son, it makes my heart grow weak. The thought of Alesso having a little brother to play with, grow up with, learn their way through life’s lessons and mistakes with, consumes me till I feel I can barely get a breath. Instinctively, I reach for my packet of cigarettes, pulling one out between my lips and flipping open my Zippo while striking my thumb along the flint wheel in one fluid motion. I inhale deep and feel the rush throughout my body before exhaling a plume of smoke, almost forgetting that I'm not alone.

"Do you mind?" I ask.

"Not at all, go ahead," she replies, "I should probably be heading home anyway, got to get the little man fed before he starts eating the grass or something." I laugh as I take another drag of my cigarette and Lucille stands to leave as she shouts, "TEDDY!" loudly across the park, gaining the boys' attention. "We need to get going darling, say goodbye to your friend." I stand behind her, the curves of her body daring me to reach forward and touch them. Ignoring my urges before I end up in Silas’ old cell for sexual assault, I step forwards and walk towards the climbing frame with Lucille following behind me.

"Watch out Mommy, the sharks will get you!" Teddy shouts as we get closer, pretending to spear the imaginary sharks circling the climbing frame.

"Not before I get you cheeky boy," she replies, running her way towards the young boy who screams with delight as she catches him and begins tickling him mercilessly.

I look over at Alesso who watches on, a sadness in his eyes that tears at my soul. "Come here, Son," I say, holding my arm out towards him. He jumps down from the edge of the climbing frame and leans into my side as I place my arm across the back of his shoulders. What I would do for him to have a mothers love. Turning back to face Lucille, who is now carrying Teddy in a piggyback, I take one last drag on my cigarette then throw it to the floor and grind it down under my boot.

"Say goodbye to Alessandro and Linc, Teddy," she directs up at the boy who has his head perched on top of hers.

"Goodbye Lesso, Goodbye Linc," he says through a yawn.

"See you later, kid," I respond.

"Bye Ted," Alessandro chimes, then runs off to go and retrieve his football he left behind in favor of Teddy’s airplane.

"Goodbye Lucille," I add, my eyes meeting hers.

"Goodbye Linc, I hope the beautiful trees bring you back here soon," she jokes before turning away, a cheeky grin across her lips making the dimples in her cheeks stand out.

"Oh I'm sure they will Love, I've no doubt about that," I reply as she walks out of earshot.

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