Page 42 of Icing Hearts

I give him the finger. I know I don’t cuss as a rule, but this situation warrants the crudity.

Chapter 25

Clara

Vince offers to walk me to class after lunch. Our school schedule rotates so I have history next. I let him carry my backpack, and we chitchat about this week’s hockey game. It all feels very eighties rom-com.

Tory trails behind us and Jack a few feet behind him.

When Vince drops me off at my locker, he turns, slaps Tory on the shoulder, hustling off to civics before the bell rings.

“Wow,” Jack mutters. The din of the hall grows quieter as he switches out his books.

“What?” I ask, checking my teeth in the mirror and kissing my queen.

“Seriously, Clara? Did you not feel the tension you just orchestrated? It looked like Tory was going to launch over the lunch table like that scene in Mean Girls. I could practically feel the anger rolling off him as he trailed behind you and Vince.”

“But I don’t think he actually wants to date me. Even if he did, he wouldn’t. I wouldn’t. I mean, I can’t.” I lean against the locker bank, handing Jack my math binder. The cool metal against my sweater does me some good.

“I can’t tell if you’re in denial or just really socially stupid.”

“Hey!”

“Or maybe you like the game a little too much? I mean, you’re the only girl who gets away with treating Vic the way you do. Was this your plan all along? You know, obnoxiously flirt with him all this time get him to fall in love with you, only to toy with him and then date someone else.” He rises to his feet and tugs the zippers of his book bag closed.

I clutch my books to my chest. “Jack, that’s not—”

“It’s kinda genius when you think about it.” Jack points at me, insinuating he’s cracked some sort of code.

“You must know I’m not that conniving.”

A deep sigh seeps from Jack and he looks at me squarely, pinning me with his eyes. “Then, can you be honest for once? I mean I get your whole ‘not wanting to let people in thing.’ It’s why our friendship works. I haven’t asked you for more than that. But for once, can you be completely real with me and tell me what the hell you think you’re doing? Vic has been dropping hints that he likes you for weeks. He’s very clearly jealous of your little budding juvenile romance with the human refrigerator. What gives?”

My stomach drops. I didn’t realize Jack was perceptive enough to denote that I held people at arm’s length let alone any of the other intricate interpersonal dynamics. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I need to be more careful when it comes to Tory and Vince.

“That’s quite a reductionist view of Vince.”

“Okay. Never mind.”

Jack slams the locker harder than necessary and heads toward his class. The bell rings, and we’re both officially late. A few stragglers scurry down the hall, and a couple teachers chat by the copy room. But we’re mostly alone.

I dig the toe of my sneaker into the carpet. I’m wearing jeans and sneakers today, a rarity. “You want honesty?” I call after him.

He turns back, one strap of his tangerine backpack slung over a shoulder. “Yes. Just once. I swear I’ll never ask this of you again.”

“People with orange hair shouldn’t have orange backpacks. It clashes.”

“Thanks, Clara.”

I take a few steps toward him. “Look, the truth is, if Vince asks me out, I’m going to say yes. My relationship with him is simple. It’s straightforward. He doesn’t seem to want more than I’m willing to give, emotionally, and he’s tolerant of my situation with Tory.” I twist my hands against my waist, looking anywhere other than Jack’s eyes. “Things with Tory are…complicated. I think it’ll always be that way. Sometimes, when he looks at me, I feel like he has this special key that allows him access to every part of me. And he wears it around his neck or twirls it on his finger, as a constant reminder that if he wanted to, he could use it. So, yes, I push him away. But my resolve is crumbling so… then there’s Vince.” The thought of Vince plants a warm smile on my face. “That sounds like a cop-out, but I swear it’s not.”

Jack nods once. “No, it’s not a cop-out. You’re making a choice to protect yourself. Personally, I’d rather experience something so powerful it could break me.”

“I’ve already been broken, Jack. Clinging to the pieces is all I have now.”

He gives me a knowing nod. “I get it. I mean, I don’t…but I can’t hate on your motivation. However…”

I open my mouth to protest, and Jack holds up a finger, raising his eyebrows to his hairline. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that I want to be your friend. Your real friend. I care about you, Clara. I want to be real friends, not just school friends. You are definitely mucking up this situation, and I don’t think you should do it alone. At least let me be a listening ear and whatnot.” Jack waves his hands around like a clucking hen.

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