I wanted to be some kind of avenging dark angel, showing them how fucked up they were.
But standing here, I feel like the lines are all blurred. Zack’s my enemy. I'm his enemy, but he doesn't even know it.
And Saffy? Is she my enemy?
My parents would say they're all equally guilty. I can hear them now, their bitterness a constant refrain since I was a child. I just wanted them to get better, for my dad to stop drinking and for my mom to be the kind, sweet mom I knew as a small child. But standing here, that doesn't feel any closer to happening than when I started.
None of this feels how I thought it would, and I'm not sure when it all started unraveling. When I arrived, everything was as I'd expected. I met Saffy first, and although I thought she was a sweet girl, I also noted the expensive Jeep she drove to college, the top-of-the-range laptop she used, and how, although quiet, she was secure and popular within the pack.
Then I met Zack, who was every bit the cocksure, wealthy, and successful businessman I'd expected. A beta, too. His family had obviously made a success of the land they acquired after framing my parents, expanding their operation across the whole mountain. Zack and Saffy were rich and happy because of my family's downfall.
I'd seen nothing to deter me from my plan, though I couldn’t deny I was attracted to Zack from the start. My damn wolf didn't seem to understand he was our enemy; instead, she wanted him. I’d sensed his interest in me right away, too. But I knew the truth. He didn't, and I thought I could use that to make my revenge even sweeter.
However, standing here in his arms, I'm forced to admit that was a load of rubbish. I simply wanted him, and far away from my parents’ prying eyes.
For a moment, I thought I could have it all. I’ve always had a tough, no-nonsense persona. I had to, growing up in the roughest part of the city with no pack and my parents falling apart.
Not many people saw through my act, though Agent Barnes was one of them. He saw the real me right away. I cringe to myself, thinking about what he'd make my current situation.
I wipe my tears and step back, feeling suffocated by my own decisions. I look at Zack, who looks exactly how I feel. How did we get here? I have become so used to creating fake identities online, it suddenly occurs to me that's what I've done in real life, too. Who am I? My parents’ daughter looking for revenge? A college lecturer? Zack's lover? FBI hero?
Or am I just a real-life villain?
A hacker friend once told me that they thought it was too easy to get wrapped up in lies and lose sight of right and wrong. I thought they were crazy—my life always seemed pretty simple to me. Hacking wealthy or corrupt businesses for the greater good, bringing down foreign or illegal operations for the FBI, emptying a cartel's bank account to pay an asset.
Bringing down Zack to avenge my parents.
It had all felt so simple. Until I was in his arms. Until I saw the damage to Saffy unfold in front of my eyes.
But the truth still stands: Zack's family is responsible for mine's downfall. My parents will settle for nothing less than the revenge I promised to deliver.
It's too late to turn back the clock now, anyway.
I know I should go. I'm trying to find the words when I hear a klaxon sound in the distance and the echo of a crowd's roar.
"I guess they're getting started," Zack says, glancing out the window.
"I'm surprised you can hear it from up here," I remark, knowing he's referring to the tournament he should be at the center of right now.
"The mountains create a slight amphitheater effect,” he explains. “With the sports grounds right at the bottom, you hear the big games echo all around. No escaping it, really. Not here, anyway." He looks back at me, his expression unreadable.
"I…um…" I start to speak, not sure how to find the right words, but knowing this is probably goodbye.
"Do you want to get out of here? Now, with me?" he suddenly asks.
"You mean, go to the tournament?" I ask in surprise.
He shakes his head ruefully. "No, the opposite, actually. Saffy’s at her friend’s until tomorrow, maybe even the day after. I've got a cabin in the next valley, far away from all this noise. Come with me, unless you're heading out today?" He leaves the question hanging in the air, as if suspecting I'm not really just taking a short trip.
I open my mouth to say no, to give some kind of excuse. But at the last moment, my heart engages and I find myself nodding. "Sure, I'm in no rush," I lie.
As I already have my things in the truck, I agree to leave my vehicle here and pick it back up tomorrow. I grab my overnight bag while Zack gets his things. He clearly doesn't need much, as he's ready to go in five minutes.
"I have a lot of things at the cabin,” he says. “I've just packed some fresh food and a bottle of wine."
I smile. I can almost kid myself that this is a romantic trip, that we’re just like any other new couple heading out to a mountain cabin to get to know each other better.
I hand Zack my bag and walk around to the passenger side of his truck, thinking maybe that's how I can view tonight. I can just pretend everything is fine for the night. Pretend I'm not leaving tomorrow. Pretend the final transfer won't go out in the morning and condemn Zack. Pretend we have an actual chance of happiness together.