Page 91 of Geordie

He exhales a heavy sigh. “Did he cheat on you? Is that how that bastard hurt you?”

How can I tell him this without the pain surfacing fresh again? “Let's sit in the alcove.” Moving toward the covered sanctuary, he switches on the heat lamp near the entrance. It glows a golden warmth, but it's Geordie's body close to mine that comforts me. I shove my hands into my pockets and lean back on the bench. “Do you know Stephen's story?”

He shakes his head. “No, I can't say that I follow the doings of billionaires.”

“Really, you guys don’t have a monthly newsletter?”

He glares at me when my awful joke doesn’t lighten the mood. I move into the folds of my coat and look straight ahead. “I won't go into great detail, but Stephen’s parents abandoned him and his three siblings. The utilities and mortgage continued to be paid, so they lived in the house. The neighbors knew and helped to avoid the children being taken into care. Stephen raised his sister and two brothers, made sure they went to school, had food; he even took extra jobs to buy a prom dress for his sister.”

Geordie joins me on the bench, giving me no sign that he's even interested in the story. “The point is,” I say to his profile, “Stephen's been a parent since he was a sophomore in high school. For years, he let me believe we'd have a family. When I'd bring up the subject, he'd skirt around it. Every year on the anniversary we met, he'd propose, but I'd say no. I didn't want to commit until I’d gained enough success in my career and could start our family. When I was ready, I finally pressed him to have a child, and he said no.”

“I don't see the purpose of this story. You said this was your pattern. What changed?”

“We'd work out our disagreements, that's true. I think it made us a stronger couple.” I fall silent, gathering my courage. It still hurts to say this out loud. “Stephen failed to tell me he couldn't have children.”

“An accident?”

“Not an accident, a conscious choice. He had a vasectomy before we met. All that time, he'd been waiting for my biological clock to run out. You know the rest, that the doctor told me I should get pregnant as soon as possible, my search for an anonymous donor, and preparing to have a child alone. I was on track until the impossible happened and Geordie MacTavish offered to co-parent.”

“You could have confided in me and told me everything.”

“I didn't want you to leave because my personal drama was too messy for you, so I said nothing. I'm a bit of a fuck-up sometimes. What can I say?”

He stares at the community room, then back to the path. “This is a lot to process. It makes me wonder what else you're not telling me.”

“Nothing else,” I offer quickly, before he leaves again. “I care for you,” I remind him. “If you want an actual relationship, let's wait until our child is born. In the meantime, we can continue to build on what we have. I don't want you falling in love with me because I'm carrying your child. I'd rather you love me for me.”

Even in shadow, I can see the seriousness in his gaze. “I never said I was falling in love with you.”

I blink at the admission. An unexpected hurt stabs at my heart that he might not love me, and I realize that his love matters to me. Shit, could his attraction be about old-fashioned lust or is it darker, and it's all about possession?

He uses both hands to rub his face, as if he's trying to erase this discussion from his mind. “Aye, building on our friendship is a good place to begin. I'll accept that for now.”

“Lily?” a female voice calls from an overgrown palm, then Ginny's flushed face appears. She grins when she sees Geordie. “We were wondering,” she says in her soft Scottish burr, “if you'll be coming back to the party, or is it over?” The girl is a pretty teenager who came with her brother and parents, the dance teachers, to make up the couples.

I glance over at Geordie, whose face is still flushed from the rubbing.

“I don't know,” I say, looking at Geordie. “It’s up to him.”

He gives her a wide grin that makes her blush and look down.

“Never let it be said that Geordie MacTavish stopped a ceilidh,” he bellows. “I'll be there shortly, after I put on a kilt and my new ghullies.”

Chapter forty-four

Gowns and Ultrasounds

Geordie

Womeninvariousstagesof pregnancy occupy almost every chair in the waiting room. I stand while Lily takes a seat. She's been excited since breakfast and animated on the ride over. She takes my hand and I lean against the wall, watching the wee dramas unfold around us. I acknowledge three other guys in the room with a slight nod and, like that, we've formed a brotherhood.

Lily chats about where she wants to go for lunch, then she wants to explore a baby boutique she heard about. I smile and nod, happy to be with her. We filled last night with unexpected truths, revelations, dancing, and me falling deeper in love with her, something I couldn't tell her last night. I'll not have her thinking I'm love-starved. She genuinely has to have feelings for me before I can admit such a thing.

“Lily?” a woman in scrubs calls to the room.

“I'm here,” Lily says, pushing away from her chair.

The tech holds the door open for us to slip inside. We wait as she takes the lead, walking down the hall, dodging other techs escorting patients to rooms. “We're in here,” she says, stepping inside a cool, dimly lit room. She maneuvers around a machine to pull down a fresh tissue over the exam table. The tech pulls a gown from a stack, a faded cotton of blue flowers with strings to fasten the much-used garment. “Please slip into this. You can leave your bra on. I'll be back in a few minutes to do the ultrasound.”

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