Page 129 of Geordie

“Ian, are you volunteering?” I yell back.

He flicks a grin, happy to be the center of attention. “I would, lad, but I don't want to show you up and have her deeply regret wasting her time with you when she could have been with the best.”

They roar with laughter. Even I join in at the blasphemous retort.

Lily holds up her hands. “Okay, you'll know what I have to announce soon enough. I'd better blow these candles out now before they burn to nothing.”

Innis clings to me while Lily and I do the work. It's a task to blow out forty candles. There's enthusiastic clapping and a few whistles when the last light is extinguished. Lily is given a cake-cutting knife before the clamor dies down.

She holds the knife like a conductor's baton and speaks when there’s relative quiet. “Now for the big news,”

“Before your announcement,” I interrupt, “I'd like to give you my gift.”

Lily's brows knit as she looks at me, then at our guests with an apologetic half-smile. “I asked for no gifts, Geordie, can't this wait?”

“No,” shouts Lochlan. “We all want to see the grand surprise he has for you.”

I glare at him. He nods encouragement and mouthsgo for it, lad.

She takes the child from me, adjusting her on a hip. Lily's dark eyes dart around the room, probably wondering if something else will be rolled in as part of a surprise. I take Lily's hand as my child smiles at me, too young to understand what's happening. “I thought this would be the best time to do this, in front of family and friends.”

“Get to it, man, we don't have all night. There's cake to be eaten,” someone calls.

I fall to one knee. Lily’s eyes are wide. She takes a step back, covering her gasping mouth.

“I love you, Lily,” I begin, reaching into my pocket.

“No, no,” she whispers, “don't do this, no—”

I pull out the box as I register her saying no. Lochlan was right; I shouldn't propose in public. She wants nothing to change; I see that. I should have asked before, or she's past caring because I waited too long to ask.

I scramble to my feet, shoving the box back into my pocket. “Question asked and answered,” I murmur. I turn away, striding to the house to the silence of the gathering, humiliation burning my skin.

Lily finds me in our bedroom, my arm anchored at the windowsill, staring out.

“I'm sorry if I embarrassed you—”

I cut her off. “It was my fault. Lochlan told me to speak to you before this, but I thought showing your family and friends that I loved you enough to propose in front of them would make this right.”

“What are you making right? We have a wonderful life.”

“Granda said we did this wrong. It should have been about you and me first, then the child.”

“Geordie, honey, we are a modern couple. No one tells us how our relationship should be; that's between us. You took me by surprise, that's all. When I said no, don't do this, I meant I wanted to speak in private.”

“To tell me no without witnesses?”

“Yes, I mean no. Can't you at least look at me?”

I face a worried Lily. That awkward scene couldn’t have been easy for her, I embarrassed us both. I know we don't need to be married as long as we're together… and didn't she ask me to never leave her? I just need to get used to the fact that I’ll have everything my parents had, except marriage.

She pivots to a drawer, pulling out papers. “Here, read this,” she says, shoving them into my hands. “I've been keeping it a secret. My doctor told me to share this with you, but I couldn't until I was sure of the prognosis. I planned to tell you tonight; I can't wait any longer.”

There're only two sheets. I do a quick scan of the official-looking medical reports. “Why didn't you say something? I would have been there by your side, no matter what.”

“I was fucking scared, alright?” throwing up her hands. “It scared me to tell you I was pregnant, so I waited until the tenth week. There's the sonogram.” She stabs at the paper with her index finger. I take a step toward her, but she holds a hand up for me to wait while she takes a breath, trying to calm. “Talking about this is difficult, but this time I feel different during this pregnancy and the doctor says the baby is strong and is progressing on track.”

I stare at the reports. The sonogram was taken yesterday. This must have been torture for her to keep the secret. I can understand why. Lily wanted to spare me. She didn't want me nervous and anxious as well. But this couldn't be her big news, is there another secret she’s keeping? “What were you going to announce at the party?”

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