Page 96 of Lochlan

I breathe out, wondering if I'm going to hurt her again. Hell, of course I'm going to hurt her. “I won't blame you if you've changed your mind and make that call to Geordie, asking him to rush down the road to rescue you.”

An angry flush appears on the cheeks of her pretty face. “I don't need rescuing, what I need is the truth. If you can't supply me with that, then I have no choice but to call Geordie.”

“Truth might be what you want, but it's not always pretty. In fact, the truth can make things worse.”

“I don't want to wonder anymore. I don't wantwhat ifs,what might have been, andif I could have done moreleft on the table. We need to come to an understanding tonight. No secrets, no lies; that's the rules.”

“As you wish, mo ghràdh.” I saidmy love, as a casual endearment, but Kenzie's body stiffens.

“Save the sweet talk and tell me what happened between you and Fiona the last time I saw you.”

“The details of that night are not important. I think it should remain between Fiona and I.”

“I said no secrets, no lies. You don't have a choice; you need to tell me what happened.”

I rub the back of my neck, pushing at a place that's forming a knot the size of a nut. “This confession won't put me in the best light.”

“You're not exactly winning any awards right now. Tell me why you jilted Fiona. We'll start there.”

She won't let me ease into this so I can salvage at least a wisp of dignity.

I down the rest of my wine and stare into her defiant eyes. Anger at what I'm going to say helps to push the truth out. “I called off the wedding because I found Fiona and my brother Harris having sex in the cathedral just before we were about to exchange marriage vows. They didn't know I'd seen them.”

I hear her gasp as I turn away. She steps in front of me to regain my attention. “All this time, you never confronted her about what you saw. Why?”

“Why do you think? My pride. I'm a man. Why would I tell anyone how much of a fool I was to blindly love someone like her? I publicly dumped her before she could do it to me, then I went on a wild, unrepentant binge of sex, drink, and anything else I could think of to blot out the memory.”

Her eyes soften to pity. That's exactly what I wanted to avoid. The knowledge that she knows this part of the truth sits with me like a stone in my gut, feeding the old anger.

She reaches out to me, her fingers grazing my arm, but I move past her, not wanting to be touched.

She ignores the rebuff in favor of sympathy. “What was her explanation?” she asks.

I fall into the chair, looking up at her, while she perches on the armrest of the couch next to me. “First, we have to discuss my narcissistic, self-centered, arse hole of a brother. I told you about my granda's tests, his stern character, dogged allegiance to the family—they were no match for my older brother's constant torment. He enjoyed the status of being the only son until I was born. He admitted to me frequently that he never forgave our parents for having another child. While I was growing up, Harris took every opportunity to belittle me, use physical violence, humiliation, or anything he could think of to make my life a misery. It was not until he went away to university that my life reached any sort of normalcy.”

Her brow knots with more questions. I'm determined this time to answer all of them, even if it drives her to Geordie.

“Ian never stopped the harassment?”

“The MacTavishes are taught to solve their own problems without outside help. To do otherwise would be unmanly. We stay silent and endure until the problem is resolved, the same words my granda recited to me as a crying boy.”

For the moment, curiosity is overcoming her pity as she sets the pieces of the puzzle in place.

“How did a relationship between Fiona and Harris evolve?”

“Fiona said when Harris noticed I had an interest in her, he would try to warn her off. Fiona was a strong-willed child and paid no attention to him. Harris is a master manipulator; he likes to think everyone is under his control, so it must have irked him that she ignored him. When she grew older, he tried to appeal to a teenage girl. He told her she was beautiful and that she should leave me and date him. He thought a handsome older man and an heir to old family wealth could entice Fiona, but she was still not interested.

“It changed a month before our wedding. I told Fiona I had a surprise for her. That I was not going into the family business, but would make my living with my photography. I promised we would travel the world like two nomads, and I'd take pictures to support us.

“In those days, I was a dreamer, but I was also the grandson of Ian MacTavish. Granda insisted I excel at studies and work in the family business during summers. After my graduation from university, I would work for the business full-time.

“I saw myself as a creative and knew that working at MacTavish Distilleries was not what I wanted. I didn't want to work for my brother Harris, who eventually would be CEO of the company.”

Outside, the wind howls just before a tree branch strikes the window, forcing us to stare at the bleak, watery landscape. Kenzie's stomach rumbles during the silence. She reflectively clutches her stomach to muffle the sound. Kenzie said she and Geordie were on their way to dinner. I should have offered to feed her sooner.

“There's more to this twisted story, but it can wait while I find you something to eat. Logan wasn't joking when he said his kitchen is fully stocked; we just might find roast goose in his pantry.”

I get a giggle at my comment and she follows me to find food.

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