Page 6 of Fall

She jerks straight up from the recliner. “Don’t you dare take blame for anything,” she snaps, and I can’t help my smile. This girl would defend me to her death. I just need her to do that for herself.

I place my hand on her shoulder, gently pulling her back on the recliner. “That’s just it. If you’re at fault, I’m at fault. If I’m not at fault, then neither are you.” I can feel her scowl, even if I can’t quite see it.

“Fine. We’ll agree to disagree and table that for now. I answered a question. Now it’s your turn. Has anyone ever donethatto you?”

I blow air out slowly to calm my nerves. Here goes nothing. “Yes.” That’s it. That’s all I can say out loud.

“Do the nightmares ever go away?” she asks in the silence.

I really wish I could tell her that it gets easier, that time heals or some shit like that, but I don’t. Instead, I give her my truth.

“Some days, I don’t even think about it. I’m too involved in present day activities or books or focused on learning a new environment—surviving. Those are good days. Other days, my skin feels dirty no matter how hot the water is or how much I try to scrub myself clean.

“Some days, I used to wake up with hope that I would never have another nightmare. Some nights, I can feel my nightmares lurking in the shadows, just waiting for me to close my eyes. I don’t know if it ever gets better, Cele. The only thing I know for sure is that you will get stronger. You’ll have more good days than bad and be much more aware.”

She breathes slow and long, absorbing my words. “I don’t wanna be weak.”

“You’re not weak,” I assure her. “Someone took something from you.”

“I feel weak and stupid.”

I need to change the direction of this conversation. I can’t tell her not to feel what she feels. Hell, I used to feel that way too. So I ask her another question. “Who was it?”

She instantly shuts down. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”

“Okay, Cele. We don’t have to talk about it anymore. Just know that you’re not alone, and whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”

She grabs my hand in the dark and squeezes it. “I love you, Evie. Thank you for being my friend.”

I don’t know what to say to that. So I just squeeze her hand back and pray that we can keep the nightmares at bay… at least until the morning.

2

“Welcome to Joe’s,” a bartender shouts from his place behind the bar as Celeste and I walk in.

After a sleepless night and my morning exercises, a local dive bar for lunch feels pretty perfect. The place is barren. It’s still early in the day, so the only people here are the professional alcoholics chasing away their own nightmares, which suits us just fine.

Once the waitress takes our order and walks away, Celeste turns to me with sheer determination, folding her arms across her chest and straightening her spine. Fucking Christ, here comes the interrogation.

“Spill it. Why did you show up at my house covered in blood?”

“Dammit, Cele, can you at least let me eat first?”

She snorts and shakes her head. Apparently, my time off is over.

“Not a chance, bitch. I gave you last night and most of this morning. That’s plenty of time... So… What happened?”

I glance around the small establishment, trying to buy time and clear my thoughts. Finally, I just give up and stare directly at her.

“Micah got shot.” I shrug my shoulders, attempting to act indifferent, though my heart is feeling everything but indifferent.

“Let’s table the fact that you were evenatSugar & Spice with Micah for a second. I’ll pretend to not be offended by the fact that I was gone for a few weeks, and you went off to replace me with a Knight and neglected to tell me, despite our daily texts. But what I don’t get is why would someone shoot Micah? Was it like a robbery or something?”

I shake my head no.

“The short answer is Ryan fucking Metson.”

Just the mention of Ryan makes my blood boil. That asshole has some stupid ass vendetta and then blames me! I should have told Alik to throw a knife in his eye. God, I can’t believe I even tried to like that prick. I hope he’s rotting in jail. I just might kill him if he’s not.

---