Page 67 of Fall

“Remember that one Halloween when Caleb dressed up as Wonder Woman?” he asks in the dark.

I burst out laughing as the memory instantly invades my mind.

“Oh my god! I forgot about that. He was so mad that you guys tricked him. Weren’t you all supposed to be female superheroes?” I snort.

The image of Caleb in a tacky bodysuit with some makeshift gold bands on his arms keeps me laughing. He even went so far as making the headpiece to match.

“I honestly didn’t think he’d do it. I lost like thirty bucks to your sister because of that.” His laughter warms the darkness we’re in, and we take a stroll down memory lane.

I know it’s because I’m laughing, but tears pool at the corners of my eyes. As soon as one slides down my face, my jovial mood turns solemn.

That was a long time ago.

The next thing I know, I feel like I’m drifting in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight, just trying to stay afloat, but my legs are tired.

“We were just kids.” His words strain against the air, almost like he’s drowning, too. “The group home burned down… Ivy was dead… I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I thought…” He sighs deeply before he continues. “It was just easier to believe—”

My body tenses as he pulls at my emotional scabs, bleeding me all over again.

“It was easier to believe that I was a monster,” I whisper, finishing his thought out loud.

I turn away from him, tightly squeezing my eyes, and give him my back as waves of painful memories wash over me. I went to him, believing that out of any of them, he would help me; that he would listen to what happened and get me out. But he never even gave me a chance.

“Forgive me.” His words are barely audible.

I shake my head, forgetting that he can’t actually see me. “Don’t do this. We don’t have to do this tonight.”

“Yes, we do,” he says more forcefully. “I messed up. It doesn’t matter that I thought I was doing the right thing. I know I was wrong, and it hurt you… and no matter how much I want to, I can never take it back, and it kills me.”

He’s right about one thing—he can never take it back.

The next thing I know, he tosses the pillow that’s in between us to the floor, pulling my back towards him and wrapping his arms around me. I struggle against him, trying to escape his strong arms, but he just holds on tighter, wrapping me in cinnamon and coconut and days long forgotten.

“Stop fighting me, Angel. Just for tonight, let me pretend that I never caused you pain,” he pleads to my damaged soul.

Because of him, there may be an ache in my inner thighs, a yearning on my skin, desire on my lips, but there’s also fear in my heart.

“Micah, don’t—”

I’m not sure if I say those words aloud or just in my head, but no other words come. Instead, I just lie there in silence and attempt to fall asleep, knowing that I’m no longer above water.

19

Ijolt awake in panic, feeling like I’m being suffocated, drowning in heated water.

Where the hell am I?

My eyes adjust to the dark, and I realize that I’m still in Micah’s room, with his firm arms holding onto me tightly. I glance at the window and the moon remains shining bright, just as it was when I closed my eyes.

I attempt to shift out of Micah’s arms to get comfortable, but he moves with me, sliding his hand down to my waist.

“Hmm, Angel.”

I look over my shoulder to see that he’s asleep. Apparently, Micah’s a sleep talker, and for some odd reason, it makes me smile. I watch his eyelashes flutter in the moonlight as he softly breathes out. And memories of the mild-mannered boy dance in my head.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he says, his eyes opening slightly.

I frown and stick my tongue out at him. “Yeah, well, you looked better when I thought you were sleeping.”

---