Page 44 of Slow Kind of Love

“Anything worth having is scary. It’s one of the reasons I’m still confused about what to do with Reg. On one hand, I’m so mad and pissed that I want to make him suffer, you know? I want him to crawl back to me on his hands and knees, and I want that road to be paved with broken glass because I want him to hurt. But how do I move forward with Reg if I fight so dirty that he’s down in the gutter bleeding? If I’m going to make it work with him, then we need to start on equal ground. We need to learn from the past, but leave it there. He’s not 100% to blame for our marriage imploding, and it took me a bit to get there and realize it.”

“But he’s the one who cheated.”

“Yes. He did. And I’m not excusing his actions, but I checked out of our marriage too. I understand what led him to Vicky’s bed. I’m disappointed he wasn’t strong enough to resist her, but I’m not blameless. I’ve done things.”

“You’ve never cheated on Reg.”

“No, but there are other ways to cheat. It’s that whole gray area. Remember Brent Bellwood? We dated for a bit our senior year?”

“Yes,” Elise replied with a frown, wondering where this was going. “He moved to Hawaii, didn’t he? For work?”

Heather nodded. “Kuai. He friended me on Facebook a few years ago, and we started talking.” Her friend looked away. “A lot. He made me feel special, and our chats became longer and more frequent. He started telling me about problems in his marriage, and I told myself I listened because I was being a good friend. But then we moved off Facebook and started texting with our phones. One day, he calls me and says he’s in Chicago for business. He asked me to meet him at his hotel and stay the weekend. I considered it for like, two minutes, and that’s when it got real and I got scared and I cut off all contact.” She looked back at Elise. “Technically, I didn’t cheat in the normal sense of the word, but I wasn’t 100% faithful either. I thought about going to Chicago. I liked how Brent made me feel. He’d send me a text message, and my heart would flutter the way it did back in high school. Back when Reg and I first got married. But then something inside me clicked. Some safety mechanism. I climbed back onto my pedestal because I’d convinced myself that I hadn’t done anything wrong and went about my life. But I had been wrong. It wasn’t innocent, and I almost crossed a line. I can’t throw stones at Reg because he can throw them back.”

“Life is messy,” Elise murmured. “And complicated.”

“It is. And right now, I have to figure out if I’m strong enough to forgive him, but more importantly, he needs to be strong enough to forgive himself because his guilt is huge.” Heather rolled her shoulders and sighed. “I don’t want to talk about me and Reg. If you love Link, you need to tell him. And don’t wait. You, more than anyone, know how life can turn on a dime. Don’t waste another minute on indecision when the perfect choice is staring you in the face. And you know he’s the right choice.”

Elise considered her friend’s words. Was she brave enough to listen to them?

By this time, Arlene was ready to blow out her hair, and as the dryer hummed in her ears, Elise tried to sort through the mess of emotion inside her. An entire ball of it, swirling around Link Major. Was she brave enough to do this?

When Arlene stood back, Elise glanced at her friend, whose right eyebrow rose dramatically.

“Well?” Heather asked.

Elise jumped out of the chair and grabbed her purse. Heather’s hair was still in foils, and she would be in her seat for at least another hour.

“I’ll see you at the gala tomorrow.”

“I’m not going this year.”

“What?”

“Reg and I rented one of the cabins up at Hudson’s resort, and we’re going to see where we’re at.” Her bottom lip trembled a bit. “Wish me luck?”

Elise gave Heather a hug and kissed her cheek. “You don’t need luck, my friend. Do what makes you happy, and whatever you decide, I’m here for you. No judging.”

“I know.” Heather swiped at her shiny eyes and sniffled. “Where are you off to in such a rush?”

“Where do you think?” she replied with a smile as she pulled away from Heather. “I have a man to see. Some things to say.”

The smile didn’t leave Elise’s face as she left downtown Crystal Lake and headed to River Road, her intention to find Link at the sports complex where she knew he was working his first clinic with a bunch of kids. She would tell him exactly how she felt, and she’d do it before she lost her nerve. With a plan in place, she relaxed a bit, her hands light on the steering wheel. It was warm for late March, with the spring thaw well underway, and she lowered her window, cranked the radio, and sang along to an oldie like she was that teenager in her rear-view mirror from so long ago. The one who existed before Ben.

She sang about getting caught in the rain and making love at midnight at the top of her lungs, like she was a superstar or something.

She giggled to herself and was still humming the song as she strode into the complex and headed toward the indoor soccer field. She spied Link right away, her grandson Benji by his side, leaning into Link as if he belonged there. A man stood in front of them chatting animatedly, and as Elise walked closer, she couldn’t help but hear their conversation.

“How old’s your son?” the man asked, nodding at Benji.

“My dad is Boone Avery. He’s a quarterback,” Benji boasted. “Do you like football?”

Link chucked. “Sorry to say this kid’s right. He belongs to someone else.”

The man said something Elise didn’t quite hear just as a woman and a young girl joined them. “Well, you’re a natural,” the woman said. “Do you have any of your own?”

“Not yet.” Link turned slightly, and the grin on his face said everything. “One day soon, I hope. Wouldn’t mind a whole pack of ’em.”

Elise stood back and turned, her heart suddenly tight, her mind whirling in a thousand different directions. He’d never once mentioned children. Ever. Not that they’d talked about the future beyond tomorrow or the day after. But how could she be surprised that he wanted his own children? Why had she never considered that? He was a young man who should be with a young woman who could give him what he wanted.

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