Page 30 of Everything For Love

She says nothing. Her silence hits me straight in the chest. It’s not that she thinks I’ve been cheating, it’s her, I’m sure of it. I’m sure of it.

“How long, Aubrey?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I scoff and wish we were anywhere else having this discussion. “It matters. Did you break our family apart and move across the world for some guy you met on the internet? Or do you know him from when you lived here?”

She stares at the mediator, who is looking down at the papers on the table.

“Take the offer, Aubrey, or I’ll push this further.”

“And when you take Amelie from me, then what?”

I shrug. “That won’t be my problem. I’m willing to pay for your rent while she is with you. When she tells me she’s ready to go home, which I know she is now, we’re gone.”

“You promised me Mack would be here.”

Another shrug. “He’s old enough to make his own decisions about where he wants to live. Right now, he’s thriving in Beaumont. I’m not going to allow you to interrupt his life anymore.”

It takes a while, but Aubrey nods. The mediator says they’ll have the final paperwork ready for us to sign in a couple of days. I’m out of my seat and the office as fast as I can move. There isn’t a need or desire to stay in Aubrey’s presence anymore.

“Nick!” Aubrey screams my name as I head down the street. I stop and turn.

“What?”

“You really think it’s okay to screw me over like this?”

“I did no such thing, Aubrey. The deal is fair.”

“When you take Amelie, I won’t have the money to pay rent.”

“Then move,” I tell her. “Find a smaller place or ask yourfriend. I’m sure he’ll help you. Better yet, ask your parents for all the money you sent them during our marriage. I can add that you worked and never added to the household income. You don’t think I have those records?”

“Why are you being such an ass?”

“Because . . .” I point my finger in her direction and then shake my head. “You lied, Aubrey. I don’t know when you started, but I’m sure if I go back and start looking at things, I’ll be able to figure it out. You lied to me. To us. To our children. It’s all starting to make sense now, the sudden urge to move. You put yourself before the kids and that’ll never be okay with me.”

“You drove me into the arms of another man.”

I hang my head and groan. “You’re right,” I say. “Treating you like you were the best damn thing to ever happen to me, worshiping you, putting you first . . . yep, I’m the bad guy here.” I start to turn away but have more to say. Facing her, I say, “I never cheated on you. I never even looked at another woman. From the moment I met you, you were it for me. My life. You did this, Aubrey. You chose this for yourself.”

She stares, saying nothing.

“I don’t know who he is but keep him away from my daughter.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I just did. And don’t even think about asking her to lie to me, Aubrey.”

With those parting words, I walk away.

11

When I get back to my new, outdated apartment, my mood isn’t any better. I’m angry, pissed off, and frankly, exhausted from feeling all those things. Yet, no matter what I do, my ex finds a way to twist her serrated knife a little bit more, to make me feel pain I never thought I’d feel. I open the refrigerator and wish beer would appear. I haven’t bought any because I don’t want to give Aubrey ammunition to use against me in any proceedings.

“He drinks in front of Amelie.” My mind changes her voice from the one I love—well loved—to some nasally whiny nails on the chalkboard sound. She’s never sounded like how I’m imagining, but she needs to in my mind right now because hearing her voice still sends a fucking jolt to my system.

Loved.

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