Page 43 of Catch My Fall (Catch)

“Love you too!”

Jumping off the couch I grabbed my shoes as I explained to Tristan that I was going. I could tell that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I was going to Choices, but he was supportive anyway.

“Do you want me to drive you?”

“No, stay here. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything. I love you.”

Hugging me tightly he kissed me. “I love you too, Mimi.”

It took me forty-five minutes to get to Choices, and when I got there Macy’s dad was waiting for me in the lobby. Taking me down a maze of hallways, he guided me to the labor and delivery area as he explained that Macy had the choice of having the baby in the hospital or at Choices with a midwife, and she had chosen the midwife. “She didn’t want drugs because she didn’t want the baby to be drugged. Her mother and I are hoping that means she wants to keep the baby, but I just don’t know what to think,” he told me.

I didn’t know what to think either, and I was largely silent as he walked me through the process of washing my hands before pointing to a door that he said was Macy’s room. Opening the door I found myself looking at my best friend for the first time in forever. Emotion overtook me as I ran to the bed and threw my arms around her neck and kissed her. Her mom was in the room with her and I hugged her next. When we finished our greetings, she quietly left the room so that Macy and I could talk.

Macy hugged me again tightly as she apologized for keeping her pregnancy a secret, and it was several minutes of hugging and crying before I sat down next to her and we got to really talking. It was surreal to see her with a big swollen belly, and I could actually see her stomach spasming when she had contractions. Macy has always been anti-pain, and I couldn’t believe that she was going to have a baby without drugs.

“Do you know what you’re having?”

Shaking her head, she wiped at the tear that escaped her eye. “This whole time I’ve been scared to attach to the baby so I didn’t want to know. When I figured out that I was pregnant, I was already out of my first trimester. I freaked out, Mia. I just totally freaked out. Any progress that I had been making was gone. I wanted an abortion but then I didn’t, and I wasn’t sure how I could live with myself either way.”

She stopped talking as another wave of contractions struck, and I held her hand and told her what a great job she was doing as she breathed through it. I was in awe that my pain-fearing best friend was enduring this. When the contractions were finished for the moment, she went back to her story.

“One of my therapists back home told my mom about Choices and after we talked about it for a while, we agreed that I needed to be here. I was ashamed to tell you and I’ve spent the last few months just trying to figure out what I want to do.”

I was pretty sure I already knew what she was going to do. The answer was in the fact that she wouldn’t take drugs to blunt the pain and that she was rubbing her belly softly. Macy wanted to keep her baby.

“My parents are supportive either way. What do you think I should do, Mia?”

Squeezing her hand encouragingly, I used my free hand to push her hair back from her face. “I think that the decision is yours and I support you either way. But if you’re asking if I think that it’s okay to love your baby in spite of the way it was conceived, the answer is yes.”

Closing her eyes, she was silent as her lips trembled and she tried to control her emotions. Before she could say anything else another series of contractions happened, and when they stopped she went right back to talking.

“I’m scared that the baby will be like Brady or Chad.”

“No! Macy, no! The baby is nothing like either one of them. No matter which one of them is the biological father this baby has nothing to do with them. This baby is yours if you want it to be. No matter what you decide to do, he or she will be nothing like those assholes.”

Clasping my hand tightly she looked at me pleading eyes. “Do you think it’s weird or wrong that I love something that came from that night?”

“What I think is that you’ve got a miracle inside of you. You’ve got a big heart Macy; of course you love your baby. We will all love this baby and there’s nothing weird or wrong about that.”

Another wave of contractions came, and they were definitely getting closer together. When she could talk again she nodded at me. “I want to keep my baby but I don’t even have a name yet… I was too afraid to admit that I wanted to keep her.”

“Her?”

She gave a nod as she wiped away tears. “I think I’m having a little girl.”

Taking a deep breath she softly said, “Can you get my mom so I can tell her?”

I walked quickly into the hallway to find Mary, and found her right away because she was outside the door talking to a woman wearing scrubs. Mary was facing the door so she stopped talking to the nurse right away when she saw me.

“Is she okay?”

Nodding firmly I assured her that Macy was fine. “She’s doing good, but she wants to talk to you. She’s made her decision.”

Mary looked scared and my heart started to beat faster as I wondered if maybe she didn’t want Macy to keep the baby. Stepping away from the nurse she grabbed my hand. “Please… you need to tell me before I go in there so I know how to react. Is she keeping the baby or giving it up?”

Swallowing past the lump in my throat I whispered, “She’s keeping it.”

Sagging into me, Mary hugged me tightly. “Oh thank God.”

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