Page 39 of Catch My Fall (Catch)

“Then why would you think that your biological father reflects on you? I can tell you right now that you’re nothing like him. He and my father can have lunch together in hell someday as far as I’m concerned. But they are NOT going to ruin what you and I have. I choose you, Tristan. I choose you because I. Love. You. I love you and I’m honored to be your girlfriend. I’m proud of who you are as a person and I love every part of what makes you the man that you are. You made me believe in love for the first time in my life. Don’t take that away from me, Stan. I can’t lose you.”

His chocolate eyes were swimming with tears as he stared at me in shock. “You love me?”

Grabbing his face in my hands I looked him straight in the eye. “Yes, I love you.”

“But… why?”

“Because I’m safe with you, because you taught me how to fight for myself, because you have never once pressured me to go farther than I wanted to, because when you look at me I go weak in the knees, because when I kiss you I can feel my heart beating in my toes, because you make me laugh, because you’re smart, because you’re so gorgeous that my eyes can’t look away, because every single time I think about you I get butterflies, because you stopped my downward spiral, because you melt my brain… but mostly, I love you because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and every second that I spend with you is a gift.”

He hugged me so fast and so hard thatI let out a whoosh of breath. “I love you too… I love you so fucking much. Are you sure about this?”

“I’m more than sure. Don’t ask me again, it’s insulting. You’re acting like I’m too simple to understand what’s going on. I’ve been in love with you since the day you put that first bowl of popcorn down on the table, I just didn’t want to admit it in case you didn’t feel the same way.”

“Baby, I never made the popcorn for anyone else. I knew that I was in love with you the very first time I kissed you, but I knew you were special the first day I met you. I was so desperate to get you to talk to me I blew off my second class and followed you to the cafeteria.”

It’s pretty much the only thing he could have said right then that would shock me and make me laugh like a lunatic. “Oh my God! That’s why you went to the cafeteria that day?”

“Yep. I’m not kidding when I tell you that the very first time I saw you I immediately thought ‘There’s my girl’. It was so goddamn weird and I wanted to run like hell in the opposite direction, only the next thing I knew I was bailing on class and following you to the cafeteria. It doesn’t even make sense but all I can tell you is that I knew you were meant to be my girl.”

“Well,” I said with a breathy laugh, “Your girl packed a bag for several days. It would appear that she’s a crazy bitch and she wants to spend a lot of time with you. Are you okay with this?”

“I’m more than okay with it, Mimi. I want you with me all of the time… as long as you don’t start referring to yourself in the third person. Barring that, I’m cool with you packing all of your shit and bringing it over. You’re snuggly and I like it.”

“Glad to hear it. Let’s go tell Trace and Darby that everything is okay. She was a nervous wreck the entire way here. After that, it would be great if we could crawl into bed and snuggle. It’s been a hell of a day.”

We held hands as we walked through the kitchen and into the backyard, but I stopped short when I saw that Trace was sitting in a lounge chair with no shirt on and Darby was on top of him sans shirt with her skirt pulled up and her head thrown back. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that they were having sex, and the sound of Trace moaning that she felt like heaven pretty much sewed up any doubt that I might have had. Tristan and I beat a hasty retreat back into the house and into his bedroom.

Digging around in my bag I let out a laugh. “Well, I packed more shit than I thought but apparently pajamas weren’t on my mind. Can I borrow one of your t-shirts?”

Opening a drawer, he gestured to it. “Baby, you take anything you want.”

I grabbed the t-shirt that was on top, a royal blue cotton American Eagle shirt that I changed into right in front of him. He watched me as I stripped down to my panties and I drank up the look on his face because, quite frankly, it was hot.

“Damn Mimi, you look good in my shirt.”

Twirling in a slow circle, I laughed. “You just had a Keith Urban moment, you know.”

“Great fuckin’ song. I have a lot of really awesome moments with you, Mimi.”

I smiled as I climbed up onto his giant bed and fell back onto the pillows. “I’m available to be snuggled with,” I laughed.

He peeled his clothes off in no time flat, wearing only his boxers as he got onto the bed next to me. I curled up next to him and laid my head on his chest as I breathed him in. He took my hand in his and traced a pattern on my palm quietly for a minute or so before he broke the silence.

“Darby said you didn’t know that your friend is pregnant. How are you doing with that?”

I let out a sigh as I thought about how horrible the past nine months have been. “I love Macy and I always will, no matter what. I will stand behind any decision that she makes about her baby. I wish that she’d been honest with me, but I didn’t go through the trauma that she did so I can’t fully understand how she felt. I was hurt at first, but I realize that it isn’t about me at all and it doesn’t mean that we aren’t still best friends. I’m sad for her that she has to make such a big decision and a part of me feels responsible for that because she wouldn’t be in the position of having to choose if it weren’t for the fact that Brady wanted to hurt me...”

I heard his breath catch as I said that, and I wasn’t surprised when he cut me off. “Baby, no. You aren’t responsible at all. Only Brady and his asshole friend are responsible for what happened to Macy. Well, and your asshole father and Brady’s dumb bitch of a mother. Those two raised a monster. You were so much better off not having that asshole in your life once your parents got divorced.”

Letting go of his hand, I traced his abs with my index finger. “Thank you for that, Stan. I know that what you’re saying is true in the rational part of my head, but the more emotional part has always felt responsible for everything bad. I’ve always felt like my mom would’ve had an easier life if she’d never gotten pregnant with me and I think I’ll always feel like I bear some responsibility for what happened with Macy.”

“But you don’t. Of the two of you, Macy was more accountable for you being there that night but that doesn’t mean she bears any blame for what happened either. Neither one of you is responsible for what those fuckers did. As far as your mom goes, I’ve heard you talking to her plenty enough to know that she adores you and she wouldn’t change a thing. You’re a blessing to her. Don’t think of it any other way.”

“I guess the way we feel about ourselves is skewed by the things that shaped us. But, maybea lot of the things that happen can offer a silver lining somewhere. If my mom hadn’t gotten pregnant in high school, I might not have felt so strongly about keeping my virginity. If I hadn’t been a virgin that night they would have raped me, too. If your grandmother hadn’t made sure that your mom had you and Trace, I wouldn’t have found the one person in the world who was going to be able to open my heart up in the way that you have. It’s a simplistic way of thinking I guess, and I don’t mean it to excuse all the evil in the world. I’m just saying that sometimes fate works in mysterious ways. Does that make sense?”

“It does. I had never thought about it that way... It’s something to consider.”

We were silent as we both thought about it and before I knew it I was asleep.

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