Page 177 of Cruel Tides

“Wonder why that is,” I mumbled, scanning over his lithe, muscular form. He was certainly not unattractive, with his porcelain complexion and toned physique…

Oh, right. He also had the power to melt people, which was terrifying. That alone would be a solid deterrent for most.

The sea wizard shot me a withering look before unrolling the scroll he held. His eyes raced across its contents at such a rapid pace I wondered if he was merely pretending to read it. I leaned over, sliding the tome I’d selected back on the shelf while simultaneously trying to catch a covert glimpse of the sea wizard’s scroll.

“What’s on your mind, princess?” he asked abruptly.

“N-nothing in particular.”

“Hm.” He arched an eyebrow, his penetrating gaze lingering on my face for a moment longer than necessary. A faint hum escaped his lips as he carefully rolled up the scroll. “I can’t help but wonder what’s occupying your thoughts. You’ve been away for quite some time.”

I bit my lip, shifting uncomfortably under his white-eyed gaze. “Yeah, I guess I have. But I don’t remember ever being with the cecaelia.” Shrugging, I averted my focus to a delicate seashell sitting on the shelf beside me. It looked small and defenseless, shoved in a corner, waiting around to be crushed by the slightest touch. “Nothing down here seems familiar to me, and I barely even remember my mother.”

“No, not that,” he said swiftly. “From your lovers. You’ve been away from them for quite some time now.”

My lovers?Heat blazed across my face at the mention of them. I ducked my head, trying to hide my presumably pink cheeks, but the sea wizard drew nearer, as if the scroll he held had vanished from his mind entirely.

“I’m curious.” His voice seemed to slice through the water like the sharp tines of a trident. “What would you say to them if they were here with you now?”

My pulse rocketed. “What would I say to them?” I repeated, trying to keep my voice steady.

The corner of his mouth lifted, revealing teeth as white as his eyes. “Would you tell them the truth about who you are? The secrets you have hidden underneath your tail?” He spoke those terrible words like they were a seduction. “Do you wish they were here with you now instead of me?”

Of course, I wished they were here with me. My soul was broken, shattered by their absence, like a part of me had been forcefully ripped away and left behind with them.

But the thought of telling them that I was never really a mermaid—that I was actually a cecaelia—was enough to send me spiraling.

“No, I—” How could I tell them? Was I even ready to tell them? I needed time to think, to figure out the right words to say. Because if I didn’t think this through, and I messed it all up… Sure, I was in danger down here, but I knew with certainty I wouldn’t be able to survive their rejection.

“You keep trembling, little mouse.” The sea wizard’s hand rested on the side of my shoulder, and despite my better judgment, I leaned into it, hungry for whatever comfort I could get.

“I need time to figure out how to tell them.”

“Really?” The surprise on his face seemed genuine. “They need not know that you’re a sea witch—that’s a secret safe for no one. But will you deny them the truth of your origin?”

Shame flushed my skin. “I’m not sure I can ever tell them.”

His chuckle was soft, almost a purr. “And what will you say, years from now, when your first spawn comes out sporting tentacles?” He tsked, his tone all the more teasing when he added, “I look forward to seeing how your relationships built on such a solid foundation work out.”

I knew he was right—of course I knew it. It was only a matter of time before my secret came out, but that didn’t mean I was ready to face it.

Goodness, I was a coward. But I couldn’t—I couldn’t survive their rejection. I wasn’t ready. Maybe if I were more like the vision of myself that I’d seen in the mirror, then…

No. Anything but that.

Pressing my eyes shut, I forced out, “I don’t know what I want. I just know that I’m not ready.”

“Don’t you think they’ll be pleased to know you’re a princess?”

I shot him a look. “Does it even matter? You said it yourself, the queen won’t let me leave. I’m stuck down here.”

Hands retreating, he turned with a dark chuckle, grabbing the scroll he’d studied earlier from one of his tentacles. His movements were so fluid that I hadn’t realized he’d passed it off.

“Ah, so true.” Returning to his desk, he unraveled the scroll, and the sound of his laugh became increasingly unhinged. “And if I were to help you escape, the crown would surely have my head on a pike.”

“I’m surprised you’re able to joke about that,” I remarked, watching as he furiously wrote something down on the scroll.

The sea wizard grinned over his shoulder at me, and for a moment, he looked younger—almost boyish. “You’d be surprised by what I get away with,” he mused before going back to his work.

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