Page 136 of Cruel Tides

She didn’t want me talking to her. She didn’t want me near her. But Leander wouldn’t give up until I tried. “I will talk to her,” I murmured tensely, and both of them looked visibly relieved.

“Great,”Laverne said as he flopped up onto the couch.“Can we talk about something else now?”Unease tightened my stomach—I still hadn’t had the opportunity to clean the cushions.

Pushing that thought away for later, I said carefully, “I’ll go, but I won’t read her mind.” Even now I sensed it, Claira’s mind brushing against the corners of my consciousness, yet I resisted. No knowledge was worth the risk I’d take by reading it, and there were less painful ways to rip out my heart than to learn what she thought of me after her meeting with my sister.

“Fix this,” Leander said, and despite his attempt to push me toward my bedroom, I walked to the front door. “The fuck are you going?”

“To the patio,” I said, sweat already coating my palm at the thought of talking to Claira.

“Barren—!” Kai called as I shut the door behind me.

“Alhey,” I cursed under my breath. What was I doing? Claira wouldn’t want to talk to me. I already knew what had happened to her.

I’d thought someone had taken her at first. I’d stalked up and down the hallway, even barged into the restroom to look for her, before I understood what had happened.

She’d run from me.

And I’d always known it would happen. The things my sister told her had terrified her, and she had done what everyone did. Claira hadn’t seemed superstitious, but Javalynn had a way of convincing others, and I couldn’t blame Claira for getting as far away from me as she could.

I paused to brace against a post, my insides in turmoil. How much had Javalynn told her? I’d barely slept, worried about their meeting. And as I’d feared, the worst had happened.

And now I’d lost her forever.

It was laughable how my knees shook underneath me. Some thought me a fierce warrior, and here I stood, crumbling apart in the face of losing all that I’d held on to for so long.

I’d been content to let Leander have her once. But that hadn’t meant I wouldn’t hold on to her in secret—a pearl locked away in the cage of my heart. Now things were different, and once I called out to her and saw her fear and disgust, I would have to let her go.

Opening the patio latch meant there was no going back. But like a soldier following orders, I did it. After all, I was used to being alone. I still hadSpraut, my plants, and this home I’d built for myself.

Steeling my emotions, I tapped on the edge of the cat door. “Mmh, Claira?”

The returned “B-Barren?” was a blow to my chest. She sounded flustered, borderline panicked.

I shouldn’t have come.

One of the patio doors pulled open so quickly that I tensed, straightened up in surprise. Shadows played over her face as she stepped out on the patio, her sweet voice trailing in the night air. “You’re back?”

I swallowed, every hair on my body rising in keen awareness of her presence. She would never know what her voice did to me. The deep connection that resonated through my bones whenever she was near.

Leander had sent me to speak with her, but now that she was here, coherent words escaped me.

“Oh! The bikini,” she burst out, quickly covering her mouth with her hands. She whirled around, her hair bouncing behind her as she retreated into my bedroom. I blinked, watching her hastily turn around to knock the door shut with an ankle while she called, “One… one second!”

The door shut, and I was left gasping for air. I stumbled a step, turning myself around.

This was a mistake. I knew I should have kept my distance. Should have stayed away, so I wouldn’t put her in the position where she felt the need to run from me again.

Metal groaned, bending under the pressure of my hand as I forced the patio gate open, but I didn’t care. Nice things were never meant to last for me.

“Barren?” Claira called as the patio door slammed back shut. “Where are you going?”

I stood frozen, still clutching the bent gate. “I made you uncomfortable,” I mumbled, unsure of why she’d bothered coming back outside at all. “My apologies.”

Her gentle whisper caught me off guard. “You never make me uncomfortable.”

I turned around to her standing in the darkness behind me, arms wrapped around her middle, toeing the deck with a bare foot.

My body reacted to the sight of her, my heart clenching with bittersweet agony.

---