Page 13 of Cruel Tides

My head shook over the pillows, and I forced my mind back to the image of Gram gently rocking on the back porch, a net draped over her lap, until the steady sound of Laverne’s snoring became muffled, and I finally drifted off.

…Whack!

My whole body jumped at the noise. I jerked upright, my eyes on high alert as I searched for whatever had fallen. The whooshing sound of a flushed toilet carried into the room as the bathroom door swung open. From the doorway, Laverne’s body appeared. Her neck rocked back as she reared up on her tail to bop the light switch with the tip of her nose. The lights cut off, and when her chest slapped back on the floor, a splash of water reminded me that the bathroom was still very much flooded.

With the switch now off, just enough light filtered through the window for me to notice Laverne’s eyes as they narrowed on me.

“I took the couch. See,” I said, feeling strangely defensive. I held in a breath as I waited for her to project something back to me, but she turned her nose up and snorted before waddling out of the bathroom.

Wait—the bathroom. I’d definitely heard a flush, which meant Laverne was… toilet trained?

I mean, I shouldn’t have been too surprised, but still?—

Laverne’s long neck slung over as she passed by the couch. Her wide jaws clamped down on both of my pillows in one quick snap. Her head swerved, and my pillows followed. The two white clouds flew into the air as she tossed them onto the bed. Then she jumped up herself and shot me a pointed look as she curled her body around them like a possessive dragon protecting its hoard of gold.

Well, okay then. It was clear the whole trident-rescue thing had solidified her hatred for me. Although she hadn’t said it, I knew she blamed me for what had happened to Kai.

My lips twitched as I reclined back on the couch, my head now having nothing to rest on but the stiff edge of an armrest. Itwasmy fault. I knew it. Laverne knew it. And part of me wanted her to scream at me for it. I wanted someone—anyone—to say it, and then maybe all this guilt hanging over me like a knife to the back of my neck could finally drop, slicing me, destroying me, and I could be the one hurting instead of him.

“It should have been me,” I whispered before taking in a shaky breath. “I was the useless one, not him.”

The long huff that came from over on the bed told me that Laverne agreed.

I turned over on to my back to stare up at the ceiling. Tears stung my eyes, but I held them back. Crying wouldn’t change anything, and I sure wasn’t going to get any sympathy from Laverne. I stared up at the blank, white nothingness above me until Laverne’s breathing slowed, and her snoring started up again. Finally, I pinched my eyes shut. I thought about Dad standing atLady Ochre’s helm and imagined I was there beside him. I looked happy in that vision. Human. But that place beside him seemed so far off now. Like a beautiful dream I wasn’t confident I could ever return to.

Sure, I’d never truly felt human on land, but it was easy to trick myself into thinking I was when Dad and Gram were there beside me. They’d always treated me like I belonged, and that had been enough. But now…

I drifted back to sleep on that thought until the sound of plastic rustling stirred me. My eyes opened to an enormous figure standing stock-still at the foot of the couch.

“Oh, Barren.” I rubbed at my eyes until they focused. “You’re back.”

His thick eyebrows drew together, and I blinked up at him, wondering why he was staring down at me with such a grave expression on his face.

“Is everything okay?” I asked through a yawn. I glanced over at the bed to make sure Kai and Laverne were still on it.

Barren’s head shook like he was coming out of a daze. “Yeah,” he said finally and plunked a plastic bag he was holding onto the floor. Sliding a key card out of his pocket, he set it on the corner of the couch. “Brought you water, a toothbrush, some toothpaste.” He drew the back of his hand over his stubbled jaw, looking somewhat abashed as he turned away.

He took a step, then a heavy breath, before glancing back over his shoulder. “You’re not… cold?” he asked carefully, his dark eyes sliding down the entire length of the couch.

It was then I realized how comfortable I’d made myself on the couch when I was sleeping. One of my legs was drawn up, giving the entire room a wide view of what was underneath the bottom hem of the borrowed shirt I was wearing. Or whatwasn’tunderneath it. Namely, some underwear.

My knees snapped together, and I shot up, pulling Kai’s shirt down around me. Why, oh why, did my hips have to be too wide to fit into Kai’s pants? “Sorry!” I blurted, and my entire body heated to the point of boiling.

I wasn’t sure why I was sorry. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d chosen to be half-naked on purpose, and I’d already seen all of him at the beach, and he was the one who was looking at me, so?—

“You should be on the bed,” he said, and my eyes flicked back up to him.

“I’m fine with the couch.” I gave him a smile I hoped was convincing. Gosh, my face felt like it was melting. I was so embarrassed. “Three is too many for one bed, anyway.”

One of Barren’s eyebrows lifted. “Is it?” he asked, and I gave a little laugh at his joke.

He stared at me, his jaw tense, and seconds passed as I stared back.

He… wasn’t joking?

My lips parted, but before I could say anything, he’d turned for the bed.

Lifting off the couch, I got to my feet. “Wait—what are you doing?”

---