Page 71 of The Lord of Whispers

The truth was that I’d never thought to question the nature of my relationship with Luke. It had always just felt so natural. And I’d never thought about how Jay, who had used every man I’d ever touched as the basis for some kind oflesson, had never said anything to me—at least not since the Summer Ball—regarding how Luke and I were so close.

“I don’t know, Luke. You’reyou. You’re—” I struggled to find the right words. “You’re my best friend,” I said, lamely, feeling that “best friend” did not really capture what I had been going for either. I held onto his hand, squeezed it once, then dropped it to my side in hopes of conveying in that one silent gesture what I could not put to words.

Luke looked like he was going to say something, then changed his mind.

“Don’t tell Rhett that,” Luke joked. “He’ll get jealous for sure.”

And even then, when I felt like my carefully curated life at the High Court was falling apart, he made me laugh.

For the first time that I could remember, Jay was in town but was not waiting for me at the manor that evening when I got home. And I did not seek him out. Instead, I went to bed dressed in something other than a Vitruvian-blue nightgown, wondering what other strings Jay was controlling in my life that I’d not even thought to question.

Jay’s power play that afternoon had definitely proven one thing to me—the game he and I played all of these months was no longer fun. Before, we both knew that there was nothing behind my flirtations with other lords. It was just a part of my High Court facade. Instead, we’d used my teasing the other lords and Jay’s feigned jealousies as harmless fuel for our passion.

But since the incidents with Lady Vitruvian and Stefan, I guess his jealousies were no longer pretend, and our game was no longer fun. I knew the high lord’s tiff with Luke had less to do with Luke in the moment and everything to do with the fact that the game we played was irretrievably broken.

34

Alarie

Iwoke up early the next morning after my fight with Jay to the feel of his weight pressing onto the side of my bed. I wasn’t surprised to wake to his presence after he’d stayed away the night before. Lying next to me, on top of the covers, he twirled a piece of my long hair around his finger into a curl before letting it drop.

“Alarie, I have to leave the manor for a couple of days,” Jay said, his tone not matching the gentleness of his caress.

I’d been expecting an apology, not a goodbye.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To the northern border. Yesterday, after I received your report,” he continued, deftly avoiding the topic of what happened immediately thereafter between us, “I received several other reports.”

“Something to do with Cole?” I interjected.

He shook his head. “Still working on that. But we have more immediate problems. Alarie, you know all of these trips I have been taking up north?”

“Yeah. What about them? I assumed it had something to do with the lesser fae.”

“That’s not it,” he said, shaking his head.

“There’s something that only Grey and I—well, and Nik—know. Something we’ve been preparing for.”

I looked at him, tight-lipped and waiting.

“We’re preparing for the possibility of war with the north again, love. With Alancia.”

“What does that mean? What are you talking about, Jay? And what does that have to do with your trips?” I asked frantically.

My heart fluttered, the thought of a conflict immediately driving a million questions through my mind.

“We’ve been making trips to examine the wall. The barrier between Valencia and Alancia is weakening. And every time we go to fix it, more failure points just keep popping up. We may not be able to keep it in place and keep Rex out much longer.”

I couldn’t stand the thought of Jay at war. I knew that he was much more than the King’s eyes and ears.I’d read about the legions he’d commanded during the war. I knew he would be on the front line of any battle, and the thought made me feel ill.I grabbed his hand, but he did not soften his high-lord semblance.

I didn’t want him to leave with our fight hanging between us.

“You’re still mad about yesterday?” I asked at the same time I strategically dropped the sheet covering my nakedness.

A smirk glinted across Jay’s handsome face before quickly retreating.

“It’s not that, love,” he said, at last softening. “It’s that I have no desire to repeat our exchange from yesterday, but I fear the next bout is just moments away,” he said begrudgingly.

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