Page 50 of The Lord of Whispers

“Not in the slightest, my dear. They’ll know you’re mine soon enough, anyway,” he replied casually, as he finished buttoning his pants.

Jay and I had warmed to each other, allowing our touches to thaw the iciness we’d both surrounded ourselves with. For Jay, I think it had been too long since he’d allowed anyone to get close to him. He’d erected his high-lord veneer and left it in place for hundreds of years. But for me, I’d never allowed anyone to get close to me. To get close was to be dependent, to be dependent was to be in debt, and to be in debt was to lose control. So, I was surprised to realize that despite my original concern about what people would think about me, I found myself caring less about what people may think and whether my relationship with Jay stayed a secret.

Goosebumps rose on my skin. I’d been out in the cool evening for too long. Jay reached out, rubbing my arms with his hands.

“Let’s go to the beach,” he said.

“What? When? What beach? Yes!” I exclaimed all at once.

He smirked.

“Tomorrow. And I was thinking of the one I own,” the high lord offered, planting a possessive kiss on my neck.

“I would love that!” I said, my skin still covered in goosebumps.

His kiss did not help my goosebumps go away.

“We could spend a couple of weeks there. I have things I need to catch up on back home.”

Home?I thought. I’d never heard Jay speak of “home.”

“Do you want to stop by Harborview on our way? My estate is just a couple of hours south of there, you know,” he said, kissing his way down my neck.

I tensed under his touch. His question threw me into an immediate tailspin of guilt. I’d not given much thought to Harborview, or my mother, or really anyone else outside of the High Court since I’d arrived in Vlaise. I’d spent my entire life doing everything possible to make sure that I’d made it out of Harborview, and when Lord Tildon announced at graduation that I would be going to the High Court as part of the liaison program, I’d walked across that stage and never looked back. But that was not what I felt guilty about. Harborview was beautiful, but I was glad not to call it home any longer.

I felt guilty about the fact that I had not thought about my mother or any of the other people I knew from back home since I’d been at the High Court. My relationship with my mother was simple—there wasn’t one. My mother never mistreated me, but she had no maternal instinct. I’d been on my own for as long as I could remember when it came to most things. My mother provided me with a roof over my head, but otherwise, she’d made it plain to me that I had no future unless I made it for myself. I believed my mother had done the best she could, given her circumstances and the person she was. But, no, I did not feel like stopping by Harborview to visit my mother.

Aside from my mother, there was almost no one else who would warrant a visit. I’d had a couple of friends at school. Maybe it would have been nice to see Cass, but he was clearly preoccupied and away from Harborview as well.

“No. Let’s just go straight to Breakpoint,” I told Jay, repressing my guilt and returning to his question.

I still couldn’t believe that I was with someone who had their own beach. His question had me thinking back to home, to where I came from. I’d quickly fallen into the habit of having nicer things—servants in the manor, any piece of clothing or jewelry I desired gifted from Jay, the ability to do what I wanted whenever I wanted instead of working 24/7, and saving money, lounging on the veranda with my high lord, going to parties with Luke.

I had nothing to feel guilty about, I told myself.Guilt is a useless emotion, I admonished, when that didn’t work.

He pressed his lips to my neck, kissing his way to my mouth. He didn’t let up until I had forgotten all about home.

24

Alarie

We rode in a carriage driven by one of the lesser fae members of Jay’s House. He explained that the trip home used to take him about a quarter of the time when the carriages were powered by magic instead of Azurinium. I knew with the state of affairs with the lesser fae, we were lucky that Jay had someone in his House to help our carriage along. There were a lot of carriages these days going in and out of the High Court without any lesser fae assistance.

This was the first time the high lord had discussed in detail how the dying magic affected him. I’d often wondered about Jay and his abilities before the magic began to dwindle to nearly nothing. But no one liked to talk about what the magic was like before it began to die. And it was an unspoken vow among all fae that no one would speak of any ability a particular individual may have lost. As a result, the younger fae like me, who had not lived during the height of the magic, did not know much more than what we could glean from books.

“Why do you think the magic’s dying?” I asked Jay.

I would try to lead up to my questions about Jay’s powers specifically. The high lord looked at me with genuine sadness in his eyes, a very rare showing of such plain emotion from him.

“Grey and I have spent more hours than you can imagine trying to figure it out and figure out how to stop it from getting worse,” he lamented. “I know it has something to do with the war. About twenty-three years ago, after the war with Alancia, the magic just began to dim until it is what you see today. Its decline seems to have stagnated, reaching some kind of homeostasis. I have some theories I’d like to run by you. Maybe one day when you want to take a break from batting your lashes at the little lords you can come back into the library and do some research with me,” the high lord jested.

It was true that I spent very little time in the library these days. Jay and I both felt that I was more than prepared for my liaison exam, which was to take place after we returned from Breakpoint.

“I’m sure research is the only reason you want me back in the library,” I teased playfully.

Before he could respond, I interjected, “What was it like? You know, back when the magic was still… here,” I probed.

The high lord took in a deep breath.

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