Page 48 of Christmas Kisses

“It was worth it, Maya. Being with him meant having all you girls. And that was worth the hurting. Worth anything. And just because you admire me for having survived the raising of a family without the help of a man, doesn’t mean you should wish it for yourself, because it’s no kind of rose garden.”

Reaching out, Maya covered her mother’s hand with her own. “There’s a difference, Mamma. You had nobody. I have you. And Kara and Selene and Mel.”

“And Caleb,” her mother insisted stubbornly.

“No. The babies will have Caleb. I won’t.”

“But, Maya—”

“Mom, that’s enough. I’m not going to discuss this. There is no way I’ll let myself get tangled up with any man I can’t depend on.”

“But…but how do you know you can’t depend on Caleb?” she asked, seemingly dumbfounded.

“He already left me once. Just walked out, without a word. And eight and a half months later, he waltzes back in again like nothing’s happened. Just like….” She bit her lip.

“Just like your father,” Vidalia finished for her.

“Oh, Mom, I didn’t mean—”

“Yes, you did.” She got to her feet and walked away, up the stairs, and Maya heard the bedroom door close softly.

Damn. She hadn’t meant to hurt her mother’s feelings. What was wrong with her, anyway?

She strained to her feet and waddled through the house, checking locks, shutting off lights. She paused at the window to glance outside. Then she let the curtain fall back into place and sent a sidelong glance at the telephone. She told herself that she was not hoping he would call to say good-night.

One hand on her aching back, she turned to go upstairs. And then the telephone rang, and she knew it was him before she even picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Maya?” Caleb asked. “Why aren’t you sound asleep by now?”

She pursed her lips. “How do you know I wasn’t?”

He hesitated. Then, “Oh, God, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

Her lips pulled into a smile in spite of herself. “No. I was just on my way up.”

“Well…well good. You, um…you need your rest.”

“You sound like my mother. Why are you calling, Caleb? Is something wrong?”

“No. I mean…yes.” He sighed.

She heard it and frowned. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“It’s all right. I’ve been expecting it. I never asked you to stay, Caleb. Hell, at least you’re calling to let me know…this time.”

“Maya…I’m not going anywhere. I’m calling because… Wait a minute, what do you mean, ‘this time’?”

She closed her eyes. “Nothing. Just tell me why you’re calling.”

It took him a moment. She wondered why. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this, Maya, but there’s been a leak. The story’s out. There was a tabloid scumbag waiting here when I got back to the boarding house tonight.

Apparently he’s been following us around, snapping pictures. God only knows how much dirt he thinks he’s dug up on us.”

Maya closed her eyes in relief, which was so odd that she felt like smacking herself in the head for feeling it. But she felt it all the same. A wave of relief that he hadn’t called to say goodbye. And while the actual news should seem far more serious than the latter would have been, it felt small in comparison.

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