Page 115 of Perfectly Wild

“Jump.”He flings himself forward, and his head flops.

I massage his shoulder to calm him. The last thing I should do is speak to him and spook him.

His eyes are closed.

“Nooo,”he wails.“I’m sorry. So sorry. Awarö itoto.”Bad stranger.

He falls on his back, and his head moves from side to side. He’s mumbling, and it’s difficult to comprehend until he cries out,“I did this.”

“Samuel,” I whisper. “You’re safe.”

It has no effect on him.

“I love you,”he murmurs.“Please forgive me.”

“Honey.” I gently rub the length of his arm. Is he talking to me?

“You were like a father to me.”He mumbles other words.

“This can’t be happening. You were the best part of my life.”Choking sounds in sobs erupt from him. I want to wake him. Only this could be his way of letting go of his pent-up emotion. The trauma of his past. Whether it’s a new dream or he is reliving the nightmare that has haunted him for months, it must be progress, as he’s never cried like this in his sleep.

“I’ll always remember you.”It comes out in a wail.“Never forget you. I love you and promise to protect your people forever.”

Forever?

51

EDEN

Beautiful words not intended for me.

Lying beside Samuel, I stroke his shoulder. This wasn’t like other nightmares. I assumed his dream included the shaman and maybe Kaikare. He could have been reliving the day the shaman was shot or…

I wrap my arms around his chest and wiggle closer to Samuel. His brow is heavy. His lips are moving like he’s saying a silent prayer. A chant, maybe. Samuel has a wonderful, open mind, and there’s a possibility he is connecting to the shaman in his dreams. Like he would after taking ayahuasca.

The idea of him taking the brew again scares me. I’m the one who helped save him the last time, and I never want to see that again. I understand certain plants can enhance the experience, and he promised it would be a light brew. Nevertheless, there must be another way. A safer way to help him heal. If it’s spirituality he’s seeking from a higher being, then he has many religions to pick from. He needs to choose one to facilitate his healing.

We have come too far as a couple, and I’m not giving up without a fight. I won’t lose him. I can’t. Samuel is a part of me, and my life would never be the same.

The first day I saw him on the beach in Salvador, I knew there was something special about him. Out of the thousands of people on the beach, our eyes met, and a spark of hope and excitement shot through me. Then he was gone. He admitted he felt it too, and it spooked him enough to retreat to the hotel. Thinking about his reaction should have been a flag that he’s no ordinary man, that his life differed from mine, and our meeting would impact his life to a degree none of us ever imagined. I was a willing victim and would have done anything for this man even after knowing him for a short time.

Was it a coincidence?I don’t believe so.

Somehow, we were meant to be.

Maybe from the time I was born, my Gran saw something in me and knew something about my future no one else could possibly know.

Regardless of how and why we came to meet, we did, and all I know is we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together—long happy lives. And no way in hell am I going to allow Samuel to weaken and think the only way for him to heal is through a damnmagictea.

Because he’s better than that.

He is stronger than he realizes.

And so am I.

We’re not broken.

When I met him, I was emotionally ruined and had given up on love.

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