Page 57 of Hawk

“I just want to say thank you,” I tell him, fighting to keep the tears from spilling. These wouldn’t be tears of sadness, though, for the first time in so long. They would be tears of joy.

I brush them aside and focus on what I’m trying to say. “I know everything you’ve sacrificed for me, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. How much I appreciate you. I’m grateful, Hawk. And I know that’s a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

“It’s not a debt and you have nothing to repay,” he replies. “And anything I might have sacrificed is more than worth it just to see you smile.”

As if on cue, a smile splits my lips and a giggle bursts from my mouth. He grins in return.

“That’s the one,” he grins.

Blushing furiously, I walk into the bathroom and close the door. I turn on the shower and instantly fall in love with the water pressure and with how quickly it gets warm. In no time flat, the small room is filled with billowing clouds of steam. I set all my things down on the toilet, get undressed, then step beneath the spray. I revel in the hot water washing all the road dust off my skin and out of my hair.

This is truly luxurious—especially compared to the Howlers clubhouse. Back there, the water was little more than a drip and it took almost ten minutes to get warm. And once it did, you had about five minutes of warmth before the water felt like it was being piped straight in from the Arctic Ocean.

As the water washes over me, I’m hit by a wave of emotion so powerful and deep, I feel like I’m being pulled down to the depths. I sink to my knees and bury my face in my hands and sob wildly. I don’t know where this is coming from or why I’m crying but once it starts, I can’t stop. My entire body is shaking and heaving, my sobs long loud, even though I’m trying to stifle them,.

It’s like everything I’ve endured is pressing down on me. All the painful memories of the pain and torment I’ve suffered are choking me so hard, I can’t breathe. All I can do is sob. And I do.

I cry until I’m all cried out—which seems to take forever. But eventually, the tears stop, and I suddenly feel free. Lighter. It almost feels like the band-aid has been ripped off and my wounds, though still fresh and spilling blood, are beginning to heal.

I know it’s going to take some time before I feel right again. But I cling to that hope that I’ll get there even harder. And with somebody like Hawk by my side, I feel like it not only can happen, but will.

* * *

“What are you going to have?” he asks.

I shake my head and smile. “I have no idea. There are just so many different choices,” I say. “How is somebody supposed to choose?”

“Usually by picking something that sounds good.”

I give him a sarcastic grin and shake my head. “Gee, thanks for that. You’re a real help.”

“I do my best.”

Busters looks like an old ski chalet. It’s a high pointed A-frame building with fake snow all over it and exposed beams above us. On the wall to our right is a giant, oversized fireplace, complete with a log fire that’s pumping out the warmth. It’s supposed to look rustic and rural, but it strikes me as kitschy. Yet it’s got a fun atmosphere and the aromas that fill the place are heavenly.

“What are you getting?” I ask.

“The tomahawk with mushrooms and onions on top and a loaded baked potato on the side,” he tells me.

“That sounds good. I’ll do that too.”

He raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You’re going to eat a tomahawk?”

“What?”

“Oh, nothin’,” he says. “It’s just that the cut of meat’s about as big as you are.”

“I’m a girl who can eat.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

I laugh and look into his eyes. The fire casts flickering shadows across his face and makes his eyes sparkle like polished chips of onyx. He’s such a handsome man that he gets my heart racing without even trying.

“So, I heard you in the shower—”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” I cut him off. “I was trying to be quiet, but I just felt a little overwhelmed. I’m really sorry.”

“There is nothing for you to be sorry about, Molly,” he replies. “I only mentioned it because I want to make sure you’re all right.”

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