Page 64 of We Burn Beautiful

“He’s been strung out on drugs for years. It took him five minutes just to get to the door when I knocked.”

“He could have a gun. Guns don’t care if you’re just a bag of bones and saggy skin.”

Gray arched an eyebrow at me. “This is Texas. We all have guns. Pretty sure I can grab mine before he grabs his.”

“What if he attacks you with a hammer?”

He chuckled “A hammer? I don’t know what goes on in that big, beautiful brain of yours, but I love it. You’re adorable when you get like this.” He leaned in and kissed me gently, pausing before pulling away. “Besides, he’d have to get through Dog-Dog to get to me.” He nipped my chin playfully. “No one gets through Dog-Dog.”

“I still find it hard to believe that you adopted some unruly hellhound without me even knowing. Kind of feel like I should have been a part of that decision.” Following his lead, I returned his chin nip with one of my own. “Bad Nurse-man. Naughty boy.”

He blushed. “I never said I adopted him. Tommy was keeping him chained to an old tree in the front yard. The little guy looked lonely.”

I blinked at him. “You stole his dog?”

“He stole twenty years from us. Figured I ought to repay the favor. Besides, the poor guy was covered in fleas. He was just skin and bones. I couldn’t leave him there to rot.” Gray fell back on the bed and touched the empty space beside him. Once I was at his side, he hooked an arm around my waist, spooning me from behind. “I’m serious, baby. No one is ever going to hurt you again. I have you.”

We lay wrapped up in each other for the next few hours, neither of us wanting to move. From time to time, he would go downstairs and return with an unrequested glass of water or a light snack, but he was all the snack I needed.

***

Hours later, I woke to the sound of my mother’s car door slamming. When I opened my eyes, I was alone in bed. At first, I was sure that I’d dreamed the entire thing until I heard my mother screaming at the top of her lungs, louder than I’d ever heard her. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my trusty oscillating tower fan for protection, and barreled down the stairs like a madman. Holding the fan like a baseball bat, I ran into the living room and found my mother hitting a vicious home intruder with her purse. A home intruder with just about the most adorable bald spot in the world.

“Mrs.—ouch—Fox, it’s just—me. Please, can you—can you stop—oof—hitting me?”

“What have you done this time, huh? Sent your brother up there to finish the job? You may have everyone else in this stinkin’ town fooled, but I’m on to you, Gray Collins.”

“Mom?”

“And as God as my witness, if you’ve touched a hair on his head—”

“Mom!”

They both turned and looked at me. I wasn’t sure how this was going to pan out. Knowing Gray was still in the early stages of acceptance, I knew he wasn’t ready to make some grand revelation about us. I wouldn’t push the issue. I knew how the church could warp your mind, and I didn’t want to risk losing him again because I was impatient and demanding.

“Kent? What happened to your face?” she said. I must have been a horrifying sight. Disheveled hair. Mouth scraped red from the burn of Gray’s stubble. She lifted her finger to her mouth and traced a ring around her lips. I could almost see the lightbulb switching on in her mind. She turned back in my direction. “Has he forced himself on you?”

“What?” Gray and I shouted at the same time.

“Obviously not.” I looked at Gray, my eyes full of panic for him. For us. For what this might mean for us if I were to misspeak. As if he could sense the nervousness in me, he nodded. Gray stood up and walked toward me, holding his hand out for me to take. “You don’t have to do this. If you’re not ready, we don’t—”

“Mrs. Fox,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’m in love with your son.” His forehead pressed against mine. “So much,” he whispered. “And I know I let him down. That I let both of you down.” He pressed his lips against mine, just for a moment, and then he turned around to face her. “I cost you time with him, and I hurt him more than he ever deserved to be hurt. I can’t forgive myself for that, but I hope one day maybe you can. Because I’m going to do right by him. I swear it. I’m going to make sure that he never has to hurt like that again.”

My mother’s face was unreadable, the only trace of her rage resting in her balled-up fists at her side. She was quiet for a while, and then she nodded. “Have you broken it off with the girl?”

“Yes ma’am. Last night.”

“Have you told anyone else?” She unclenched her fists as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“No ma’am.”

“Do you intend to?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not going to let you force him to come out if he isn’t ready. I don’t want that for him. I know how much that hurts.”

“Yeah, baby, you do.” My mother pointed her finger at Gray. “Because of him. You know how much it hurts because of him. Tell me something, Grayson. Are you comfortable losing the church? With losing your friends? With having people look at you like you’re diseased? Because Kent deals with that every day.”

“I also know what it feels like when your father disowns you and your mother does nothing to stop it from happening. Dad might not have poured gas all over me, but he threw me on the streets like I was trash. Do you want to talk about who hurt me worse? Because we can. I forgave you for it, and I’m happy that we’ve moved on, but you don’t get to stand there and rain down judgment like you’re God and he’s the devil.” I glared at my mother for a moment, and then I looked back at Gray, needing him to know that I didn’t expect him to just come out right then and there. “I will never force you to do something you’re not comfortable doing. I swear that. This is your journey, and we go at your pace. No matter what anyone else thinks.”

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