Page 18 of Lust

My reflection wants to mock me. She wants me to feel silly for standing here looking at her. Instead, I pluck at the neatly rolled border of the beautiful scarf and admire the bright pattern on the fabric, then let my admiring gaze pass over my own body, thinking kind, positive words. Like full, and round, and voluptuous, and… sexy. Someone wants to see me naked. That person thinks I’m sexy. My reflection smiles at this thought, a smile that radiates into my cheeks and rearranges my whole face into something I barely recognize: happiness.

A knock on the door demolishes the blissful moment.

“What the fuck are you doing in there? What are we having for dinner?”

Whatever you make for yourself,I want to shout back, but I don’t feel like a fight right now.

“I’ll be right out,” I tell Brent. With a slow exhale, I throw on cotton thong underwear, a sports bra, sweatpants, and a t-shirt, then top it all off with the scarf.

Gritting my teeth, I unlock the bedroom door.

Aaron

Holy Hell.Seeing Ruby strip for me in front of her bedroom mirror nearly makes my brain implode. The joy on her face… I want to bring that look to her every single fucking day and take away everything that causes her pain. Especially her husband.

I flip open my list and review the elements of my plan.

1. Brent has to go

2. It should be an accident

3. There are lots of ways that people can have accidents when drunk

4. Some of these involve blows to the head, others involve accidental cuts that bleed profusely.

5. Tragic.

My left hand moves absentmindedly to the thick line of skin that runs from my right shoulder down along my chest, massaging the scar tissue. The past twenty years evaporate as my mind flashes back to that day in the locker room.

“What do you think? Should we show him how serious we are?” The quarterback grins.

Aren’t they already showing me?

There’s a click of steel as Brent flicks open a knife. He holds the sharp tip against my chin.

Great. So they’re not just dumb brutes. They have weapons, too.

“My girlfriend said you were sweet.” The quarterback takes a step closer. “She said you seemed like a really nice guy.” Another step. “She said she could imagine herself liking someone smart like you.” He spits his words into my face. “What did you do to her, you piece of shit?”

I open my mouth to reply, but blood coats my tongue, and no words form.

“Should I fuck up his face?” Brent presses the blade harder against my skin, and the tip pierces the surface.

“Naw, he doesn’t look like he cares about his face.” The quarterback stares me up and down again.

“You’re right-handed, right?” He points to my right shoulder, just below the collarbone, then draws a line with his finger, starting at my shoulder and ending in the muscles of my chest. “I want you to think of me every time you type, nerd-boy.”

Brent’s jaw trembles briefly, his nostrils flare. Then the muscles in his jaw clench and he lunges forward. Searing pain radiates through my shoulder.

“We don’t like people who don’t know their proper place,” Brent hisses.

Someone’s arm wraps around my neck from behind in a chokehold, their grip slowly tightening. As I struggle to gasp out a breath, I see blood gushing down the front of my shirt. Dizziness overtakes me. Everything goes black.

The scar throbs under my fingertips. It does this whenever I remember, the skin growing hot and prickly, like it’s re-experiencing the whole ordeal. I’ve spent the past twenty years telling myself that living well was the best revenge, but I no longer have to force myself to choke down that ridiculous lie. Fate has delivered Brent into my lap. He’ll pay for what he did to me, and for whatever he’s doing to Ruby. Time to finally look that cretin up in the Arrow app and find out just how badly he’s treating my queen.

After only thirty seconds of checking his message exchanges, my neck wags like a bobblehead. Unbelievable. Now I won’t feel nearly so terrible for what I have to do to you. Just kidding. I wouldn’t have felt terrible to begin with. But now I know he deserves it even more.

The text message chain with Delilah is as long as it is sordid.

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